On my morning ride to work and its freezing outside I am looking fwd to the spring weather for longer days and lighter clothes. This has been an emotionally exhausting week for me it seems like everything is going wrong dealing with family stress financial stresses and just the stress of living in this city alone can get to me at times. Trying to find affordable food at the grocery store has become a challenge I was only able to get one pkg of chicken yes only one at stop & shop tried key food did a little better but still came up short smh. Everything is going up but your paycheck and its crazy that the average person can't get by these days the outrageous rent is another issue. I applied online for food stamps and I'm waiting to get the official finger sign from HRA telling me I don't qualify b/c I earn too much yeah ok there but I guess you have to literally be on skid row to get anything its ridiculous. My cell phone has been acting up and the software issue was fixed but now its the volume button the insurance deductible to replace an HTC $100 I thought gtfo for a phone that they're only offering for exchange and no longer selling unreal they will give u a song and dance just not to have to replace a phone which kind of defeats the purpose of insurance doesn't it ? Smh I'm just reporting it lost. I'm still undecided whether I'm going to stay with Sprint or go to metro pcs I really don't want to be bound by any contracts. On top of all the bs I've been dealing with now I haven't heard from him and I'm wondering what's wrong b/c the last time we Hung out we had a good time and seem to be on the same page he finally responded saying he's been busy sick and thinking "thinking" about what I ask myself I'm not on your **** all the time so what could it be if theres anything I hate more is being in an uncertain situation I know he's been through a lot as I have but I'm not sure if I really want to continue to deal with all of this indecisiveness I'm being told to take things slow but it would be nice to have an idea of where things are going smh the sad part is I have a feeling its not good and usually my hunches are right :( I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst this is the part of being on the scene I don't miss at all. Yesterday went to do my taxes and I got blessed by uncle Sam which I really could use it but I'm not going to crazy like a lot of ppl do b/c money goes like water I want to save some put some in Jr acct and maybe buy a new computer and probably downgrade my cell phone. This week has dragged on and I can't wait till tomorrow Friday will be here did my usual am stop for coffee at dunkin donuts and I'm going to try to make the best of today I'm not texting or calling him I may go to zumba at lunch to make up for this week if not there's always next week well its past 9 time to start working
Thursday, February 9, 2012
wknds fly by too fast
January flew by and February has arrived . It's tuesday morning and I'm on my daily am ride to work. I was super exhausted yesterday and on Sunday. This past weekend I made s trip to Delaware to visit a friend and it was great to get out of the city hang out and sleep in w/o any interruptions but the weekend went by too quick and Sunday it was time to come home and deal with bs. We went to Fridays on Friday night and I have to say that was the most loud and rowdy crowd I have ever seen some ppl don't know how to act in public add booze to the mix and it unravels smh. Saturday we went to mixto a restaurant in philly which I enjoyed a lot drink was well made and gave me a good buzz and a tres leches cake that was one of the best I ever had. If it wasn't so cold that night it would've been nice to take a walk around the city to explore and take pictures. My feeling of relaxed and peace came to a halt when I came home Sunday having to deal with more bs and do grocery shopping that has become more challenging since now I have to budget rent into my monthly expenses and not having a ride to meat market is putting a strain on me I can really see how some ppl can become vegeterians b/c not only is not good to eat too much red meat but its also expensive. I finally let him know that I know about the other woman b/c I was tired of the games and the lies and my son is already mentioning her and her kids names yet he denied it till the end I mean its obviously over between us but be honest about it why hide the obvious? I think in a way he probably feels better that its out in the open now. I just want to live my life in peace and as drama free as possible but it seems like that never happens having my family live next door has been a blessing and a curse more lately a curse smh. You never realize how much drama ppl have until they live close. Today is the giants parade and while I'm happy they won I'm not happy about.the street closings crowds and being late to work getting my am coffee at dunkin donuts was like going through an obstacle course smh due to the crowds. Not even going to attempt at lunch so brought some with me. Still talking to Mr A last time we spent together was great we had a good time and very passionate it seems like if we were kissing forever I think that's the only time I'm actually able to forget about everything when we are together I can focus on being me and not have to worry about bills rent family etc. Etc. We all need distraction once in a while and he is mine I haven't felt like this in years but I'm keeping a level head and taking things slowly b/c I don't want to get hurt or want to hurt anyone either. I'm hoping this week goes by fast b/c I can sure use another pay check or a winning lotto ticket