it's been a while

It's been a while since I've posted a blog and I've even considered shutting it down b/c I barely have time to blog or the energy at times. I've also noticed most people don't blog or have left to other sites. These past few months have been a long and difficult road and I have to wonder at times when will things actually start to look up for me for once. It has been 3 months since me and my son's god mother have spoken after the falling out we had and I've come to realize that she feels she did nothing wrong and I disagree but I'm not going to sweat it no more as time passes by I have less patience to deal with other people's bs and "friend" to me is a word you should be careful who you give the title to b/c you will know who your friends are when you're in a bind. I found out that day and life goes on. I can't believe the level of incompetence I've dealt with at the city level and with the court system my divorce was further delayed b/c of a mix up with someone with the same last name and secretary's stupidity having to submit a notarized affidavit I get an email saying that it's FINAL at last I don't think I will believe it until I received the signed judgment in the mail at this point. I have lost all respect for city agencies such as NYC Human Resources Admin a.k.a social services I took my case to the deputy commissioner hoping to recieve some help wtih my case only to be given the run around and more nonsense to boot. After having to take days off I made one last attempt to get assistance on friday I went and applied for the last time and this time around I actually had professional and competent people to deal with. I felt a sense of relief and optimism until I spoke to my landlord's attorney and another bunch of people I can't stand are lawyers they're full of crap and hot air and this lawyer my landlord has I think got his law degree out of a cracker jack box b/c he tells his client that a lease with my ex husband's name crossed out is a valid lease well it's not which is why my case was rejected. Now I'm determined to get a new lease and was told he doesn't have to provide one b/c if he did it would extend the time I'm there and believe the sooner this is settled the sooner I get out of there. All of my hopes of taking a vacation are out the window with the time I've used and it's very discouraging at times b/c I could sure use a break. My mother finally got her surgery on March 13th and it was very hard seeing her in pain unable to move and it's still hard although now she's walking better w/o the help of a walker. She is due to get her staples removed today and I hope it won't be too painful for her. She can't reach bend or do much I'm also hoping that this surgery will help her in the long run. I think the physical therapy will be the most challenging but it is needed so she can rebuild her strength again. The dating scene for me has been non existent no one has caught my eye at all lately I realize that sometimes it's better to just be alone and let things find you. I've had a lot of bad experiences that have left me with a bad taste in my mouth. It seems like there is no such thing as a real decent guy these days. There is one guy who may be a potential candidate but due to the fact that he lives in another state it's a challenge and not sure if that's something I'm willing to commit to so we will see where it goes. He must be a potential good catch if he actually inspires my lazy a** to improve my cooking and learn some dominican dishes b/c I rarely cook. I always make sure jr eats though. This weekend was my first free weekend in a long time and it felt good to get some rest and have a break but it's going to have to be more frequent as breaks help ease the stress i feel and I get a lot accomplished. I can't even remember the last tme I went to the gym and that's bad and it doesn't help that I'm an emotional eater and I looked at the mirror and don't like what I see I've gained back a lot of weight to the point even some of my jeans are getting tighter when I am currently wearing 10-12 maybe may need a 14 we will soon see I also notice some of the cut of the jeans are ridiculously small how am I size 10 in brand a 12 in another and a 14 in mid rise jeans no one makes jeans the good old fashioned way anymore with a good amount of stretch and regular waist. When you've gained some and have a little muffin top skinny jeans and other lower waists just don't look good. I need to start exercising again and stop making excuses for myself. I'd like to be able to fit into the size 8 jeans I put away in storage so I need to get my lazy butt cracking. On another I went to Jersey City this weekend and I don't think it is somewhere I'd move with jr so I'm sort of rethinking the move to New Jersey unless it is a way better neighborhood with a good school district. I don't want a high crime area or to deal with trash I guess I've gotten spoiled and used to where I'm at now so I have to do more research but there is nothing like seeing things in person which is why I never take these craigs list ads too seriously b/c nothing is what it seems and photo shop can do wonders. Well it's time to start work it's only tuesday and I wish friday was near.