December has arrived

It's December and the end of the year is here it's been a tough one and I'm hoping that better things will come everyone's way for 2013. I haven't been blogging much b/c I'm either busy tired or been going through a lot of changes. My turkey day wasn't all that great I'm just not in the holidays mode this year. It's December 11th and my xmas tree still isn't up in past years xmas wasn't like this I enjoyed shopping for gifts, getting things to prepare holiday dinner, decorating but that enthusiam is not there I've been struggling a lot this year financially emotionally I never realized that being a single parent was this hard I simply don't earn enough money to do everything I'd like to do and that sucks big time. The end of my marriage has affected me emotionally, psychologically, and definitely financially and the saddest part is that my divorce isn't even final and we are in December. As the days goes by I grow more and more frustrated with this as I feel I'm not really able to move forward with my life. I get depressed and I get lazy which sucks. Unfortunately one of my bad habits is I'm an emotional eater when I'm stressed and depressed everything goes in my mouth most of it is stuff I have no business eating and I haven't been to the gym in a while yet I haven't cancelled it yet b/c I do want to get on track again lose the weight I regained. The dating scene is dormant for now I'm chatting with a guy on line right now and I have been for a while but we've never exchanged # b/c he lost his phone there are times I think he's just full of s*** and he claims we will meet soon. I'm a person who gets bored very easily I give things a little time and I don't want to say next in line pls but who will wait that long surely not a man that's for damn sure. On my mi gente page I've had so many hits from many different guys mostly pr and other hispanic groups and some other races but I'm so hesitant due to my past experiences. My decision to end things and block mr x # was a good one I felt it was best to put a stop to it I wanted something different while sex is great that's not the only thing I want I want respect companionship eventually love someone who I can talk to about life, the news, going to a museum etc., visiting nice places maybe I'm just living in a fantasy world. I don't miss him or have any regrets while it was good I know I deserve better. MY latest hurdle with jr is trying to get him to sleep in his own room which has worked only 3 times lately he falls asleep there and I come to find a bump under my blanket which is him and I'm usually too darn exhausted to pick his butt up and put him in his bed so there he stays not consistent parenting I know. This weekend jr left with his dad to florida so he can visit his other side of the family and visit his brother whom which I hope is he's comfortable and well :( the family relations are tense and he said some pretty mean things and I put him in his place when someone is toward the end they're life should be as stress and worry free it should be a time of peace and serenity I told him he'd better go see him and make peace. I know I would after my lecture he says he will. Life is too short you never know when your last day will be only the lord knows this. We have a few examples of this in the news A man who was waiting for a subway train pushed by some mental case and NO ONE did anything to help him, WTF happened to NYers that day but some ahole had the nerve to take a pic and post it on fb with the caption "doomed" No one did anything they have kiosks with a red emergency button someone could've discreetly pressed it or called 911 maybe this man would be alive today. Jenni Rivera killed in a plane crash, Whitney houston died this year, as well as many of the victims of hurricane sandy who lost their lives and many struggle to try to rebuild their homes and their lives. When I find myself complaining too much as I do often I realize while it's tough for me we always have to realize that there's always someone worse off than you.