Thanksgiving thoughts of life.

It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have to say that I'm just not<i> in the holiday mode this year either. I'm flat broke so any blk friday deals or deals period have to be put on hold and of course bills come first. I used to love the holidays shopping for gifts, decorating tree, xmas cards, shopping for the dinner but after my marriage ended it's almost like my enthusiam went with it. The holidays now are about who is getting jr when and for how long when is he being dropped off? I still can't believe November is here one month left of 2012 and I'm still not divorced, this boggles my mind as I never realized the court system was this freaking slow. Tomorrow's dinner will be very quiet and simple as my brother won't be able to come down b/c the idiots at the center expect him to be back the same day which makes no sense to me at all considering the distance it is from upstate ny to the metro ny area. These past few days I've felt tired lazy depressed even I was supposed to see the doctor for my meds this week and I was so out of monday I didn't even go which isn't like me but sometimes going to this psychotherapy office is stress in itself from check in process to the looney tunes who attend this place sometimes they never see the patients on time which aggravates me to the point that I may even consider looking for another office. I haven't told my therapist yet but eventually if I don't see an improvement I will look into the other place. Thanksgiving is the season to be thankful for what we have in our lives and then to have a nice dinner to celebrate I think most people get together to stuff their faces, if you ever heard some of the conversations you hear in the supermarket or where ever you maybe it makes you wonder where people's priorities are these days. Most people are so self absorbed with their jobs, their electronics, money, etc. etc. This time is a time to give thanks for what we have b/c there are many people who aren't as fortunate as we are as bad as I feel sometimes I always take time to be thankful to realize that there is always someone else worse off than you. This time we should be thankful to have life, every day we wake up is another day to accomplish, be thankful that we have our health, a place to live, power and food on the table b/c right now there are people in the rockaways, jersey, long island and many others who don't even have the basic things to get by these days. Although we are not together no more I found out today my ex bro in law has lung cancer and I felt terrible b/c this is not news you want to hear during the holidays and he was diagnosed around them same time as my ex and I have him in prayer that he gets better and hope for the best the family relations aren't that great and I'm hoping that people can put their differences aside and give him the support he needs at this time. It makes me sad he's in his mid to late thirties with years of life ahead of him why now? This makes me realize life is precious and we never know what will be thrown out way or when. Life is too short for animosity, pettiness, materialism, selfishness, greed, etc. Life is not easy by far, but life your live to the fullest with no regrets and go for it if we don't take chances and think outside the box we will never know what lies behind that door or the road to choose.