unexpected circumstances

It's been over a month since I've written in this blog and a lot has gone on I'm going through a pretty rough time now. The holiday season was ok nothing like years past, they say a divorce is like a death and it sure is true. This New Year's Eve was very quiet and sort of depressing nothing like 2011 but I was glad to see 2012 leave and I was looking forward to starting off a brand new year. I had goals until I got an unexpected visitor at the door two weeks ago it was a process server serving with me papers I was totally unaware of this I open the papers and it's a petition for eviction from my apartment. After the shock sunk in came the anger b/c while I'm acknowledging I owe I had just put 1,000 in this man's hand two weeks earlier and at no time did he attempt to discuss this with me he and his wife name was named in the suit not his. I called the lawyer got an explanation and headed out to the court house next day to respond. It's funny how everyone acts like you're a dead beat when they probably make just about a little more or less than you so the saying rings true Don't judge other people until you walk a mile in their shoes. I was very nervous that day a quick bus ride seemed like forever I texted a friend of mine letting her know what happened and I was expecting a friend to be there for me but I got a lecture and judged and I was already stressed out beyond belief so we went at it and had a huge falling out and haven't spoken since. I am disappointed that she chose to go this route and the last falling out we had I was the one who initiated contact I seem to be the one who is always the ice breaker well not this time. I've gotten sick and tired of the bs and certain behaviors of a lot of people. I'm not sorry for what I said and I know she is not either. I'm not sure if some time passes we will talk again but I've learned in life if you have a few true friends in life consider yourself lucky b/c most people talk a lot of shit and are full of shit. You will know who your friends are when you are down and out and really need a friend. I also had to deal with lengthy lectures and threats from my ex to take my son away if I didn't get things straight he acts as if he gives me 3,000 a month. It's 200 per week which isn't much when rent is over 1200 a month plus food utilities etc. The harsh reality is I can no longer afford the apartment where I am at. I tried to make it work especially due to my mother's health issues but I have to move and yes make adjustments to my finances b/c if I don't I will always be behind the 8 ball. The messed up part about this is I applied for help and was denied the system sucks. NYC is a very expensive place to live and to get help from social services is ridiculously hard I spent 6 hours there after court talking to 3 different workers and getting increasingly aggravated after being bumped from department to department the last one was from HDU (homeless diversion unit) and he tells me what I have to bring in and he says a money order for January rent I lost it at that time I was tired stressed out tension headache and hadn't eaten in hours I said I don't have the money if I had the money would I be here talking to you applying for a one shot deal and then they wonder why people go off the deep end. So I have 30 days to get results or go back to court and get an extension of time. Friday will be my appointment which I'm hoping will be uneventful which is asking too much when dealing with these idiots at social services so I'm approved for help to get current. I've made my decision I will be moving to New Jersey in the summer time I dont want to take jr out of school in the middle of the year and I have to make sure I have enough money to cover the cost of the move and apartment. The rents are much cheaper here and school system is better than nyc. I hope it will work out something tells me as the cost of living increases I will be going further south as time goes on. The sad part is working class people are being priced out of NYC with rents starting at 1200 going up to 2000 a month who can afford that type of rent just to live in a half way decent neighborhood not the average person and to top it off even the bad neighborhoods have these outrageous price tags stuck to them. I will continue to do my research to make it an easy move I think the time has come for me to move on and get a fresh start new place new people it's not like I haven't started over before if I managed to live in Yonkers for 7 years I can make it in New Jersey too will it be a challenge to learn the bus and transit system yes but I will get it eventually. I hope my mother will eventually follow but she's getting back surgery next month and 4 months later neck surgery so I'm hoping she recovers well from the first one which is why I'm putting it off till summer time. To make matters worse she was denied her disability due to more incompetence of gov't workers so now the battle begins she will see a Binder & Binder representative this week to get the ball rolling. I hope things will turn around and get better and this just a temporary bump in the road for me we will soon see.