Mundane Thursday

These past few days haven't been easy for me I've struggled with depression for years but after my divorce it seems commonplace that I have a few down days here and there.  I ask myself everyday what my purpose in life is I try to think of a good answer can't seem to come up with one I like the ending to yet.  This the time of year I struggle with this the most b/c the end of the year is here and I start to reflect on what has occurred during the year.  Last week when I returned home from a boring monotous day at work I received a 3 day notice stating that I owe close to 5, 000 in rent the intial emotion I felt was shock from shock to anger and from anger to sadness. I don't owe this money so some would say why I should feel like this it's b/c I feel like I'm stuck living this monotonous routine of getting up getting ready dealing with commuter stupidity to and from all for half of my earnings to go to some greedy slum lord.  All of this while wanting to make sure I'm able to provide for my son and give him some treats for xmas and while that's not the true meaning of xmas as a parent you want to be able to do this.  I read this notice and immediately notify him and he acts as if he knows nothing about which infuriates me and Friday I lost it I just let him have it and told him off how are you trying to get someone evicted during the holidays someone whose a decent tenant struggling to make ends meet while you have someone doing illegal activity and they're not evicted.   I finally return his call only to be referred to a lawyer guilty before proven innocent.  I have the burden of proving I don't owe anything and once I spoke to the lawyer's assistant I was seething with anger as I'm told only images of cashed money orders are valid proof after speaking to the bank my suspicions were confirmed they were cashed. So I ask myself how can a person be this fortunate to have so much yet be a blithering idiot? Trying to scam someone out of money is wrong trying to do it to a hard-working single mother is worse.  I've never seen such incompetence and I'm fighting this till the end I don't have no more to give and I'm certainly not giving to some money hungry absent minded jerk who doesn't know how to handle his accounting and finances.  I've made the decision it's time to go I've had enough already and it's going to be hard to find an affordable apt but I think I've had my time here I need a fresh start and I cheated myself out of this last year but this year will be different.  I want to excel personally and professionally they say when you dread going to a place it's time to move on and I'm there.  I've been there for a long time but due to economic necessity I'm here still.  I feel trapped.

Some people truly don't know how to treat others and some don't deserve what they have they say there is a light at the end of the tunnel I hope there will be a light for me in the coming year.  For now I guess I will keep pushing forward as hard as it is at times keep playing the lottery and hope I win even though that's a big stretch.  Th

to the new mayor

After having 3 terms of the same mayor who I think has never been in touch with the City's working class and working poor. You cannot run a City like you run your own corporation and shame on you for trying to short change your workers who are the ones who run this City without us it wouldn't. This mayor has turned this city into a divided one the very wealthy and the poor who qualify for assistance and there's the working class people who make too much too get any help but are struggling to survive the outrageous rents in this city with no pay raises, no cost of living increases to help ease the burden, and with the new affordable care act which is a train wreck unraveling each day as we tune into the news and media how this administration flim flammed us into believing that this affordable care act was to ease the rising costs of healthcare yet they made sure they could opt out of it why can't the citizens opt out? Why not over paid crooks of congress who got paid while tons of people were furloughed with no income to pay their bills and our president if it's not good enough for you why should it be good enough for us to suck it up and add yet another expense to our already tight budget. Working for the city half of my income goes to pay rent 1,289 for a two bedroom apartment that's not even worth the price they charge for it. it's in a very old community in queens where many of the apartments are in desperate need of modernization and renovation and the building structures are at least over 100 years old. I see a little bit of gentrification trying to sneak in to this area and it infuriates me because I'm struggling to make ends meet and I don't see the city doing anything to ease the burden of the working class people. No one's rent should equal a mortgage payment especially when you're never going to own it. As the years go by the rents are going up but everyone's paychecks stay the same and I've revisited this issue several times over the years and I've considered relocation twice but backed out of it and I think eventually I will have no choice but to leave NYC b/c of the outrageous cost of living, no affordable housing, and the attempt to gentrify working class neighborhoods to price out working class and elderly people who have lived here for generations have made these neighborhoods what they are now are being priced out for the likes of people who want to live a certain lifestyle that they can no longer afford in lower manhattan no more so now the people in the five boroughs pay the price for it. there's a high rise building on Myrtle ave in queens that sticks out like a sore thumb that's practically empty b/c I gather no one can really afford the rents there and a bar that's barely patronized. Such a waste of time space that could've been used for something worthwhile. Mr Mayor Elect please - Take care of your City workers and give us our much overdue pay raise and cost of living increase - Stop all projects Bloomberg had in place to make more luxury housing, this city has tons of skyscrapers and doesn't NEED NO MORE - Replace all Bloomberg staff with new people who share your vision for this City - Make affordable housing accessible to all New Yorkers, make the application process easier and have rental freezes for senior citizens and disabled your net income should be considered using a person's gross income is an insult -Take care of the working class so people like me who don't even earn 40,000 a year don't have to revisit the thought of relocation yet again and give everyone a cost of living increase - Improve our school system and get rid of corruption bureaucracy at the Board of Education - Prevent landlords from charging outrageous rents - Preserve our healthcare coverage the way it is. For those of you who think to say you need to budget better save your breath. I've done it all cut back on things, I search for the sales in the supermarket, etc and it's still a stretch to get by these days and I also have to feed clothe and pay for the school related things that come up when I had babysitting this was even harder. There's has to got to be a better way because the current system isn't working and needs to be changed. Hoping the new administration can right the wrongs of the previous one but as with all politicians lots of promises but to see them fulfilled is another

Thanksgiving and the year ahead

November is here and I can't believe how fast this year flew by.  November is a special month as it's the month my son was born.  He turned 5 this year and it makes me realize how fast time flies and how far he has come it seems like yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital and yesterday I went to his first parent teacher mtg and I'm proud yet relieved to say that he's doing very well in school academically as well as socially and his strength is in math which I'm very glad b/c numbers and me don't mix and I also attribute that to most children on the spectrum excel in math but regardless of how lr why I'm glad he's excelling became as a parent you always want to see your child succeed and surpass your accomplishments.   I asked questions about the new Common Core curriculum and realized it's not as bad as everyone especially the media puts it out to be but I will leave that for another blog.

Thanksgiving is approaching and this is the time we are supposed to be thankful for what we have I'm thankful for having a job as mundane and annoying things can get. It's better than being unemployed I have my health  and a place to live and this year I'm most thankful for the fact that I've found love again something that I thought I'd never have again it's great to have someone who compliments you someone to laugh with have fun with and cry with as I've shed many a tear this year it's been a long year and it's had it's rough spots but I'm looking forward to a new beginning.  My cooking has improved a lot and I thank YouTube channels and Facebook page pr recipes for this my next challenge will be to make a thanksgiving dinner this year an actual turkey not just the side dishes and desserts we shall see how my attempts at this turn out I've decided to try a turkey breast or a small turkey got the butterball hotline number ready to have with traditional rice and gandules and good desserts.   I'm hoping for a nice dinner and no one needing their stomachs pumped we shall see the results.