daily rant

This weekend was pretty boring as was the previous. The usual cleaning the house, and dealing with the baby which honestly can be very physically and emotionally exhausting. I wish I had a weekend all to myself where I can sleep late and just relax but those days are long gone now that I have a child and my husband works on the weekends. I notice how important it is for us to have a break and get rest b/c if you don't you will start to feel it. I was pretty tired last night and I fell asleep pretty early but the baby winded up waking up in the middle of the night so there went my sleep and trying to get him back to sleep which my husband did. I fall back asleep and just when I'm getting into it boom another cry and it's 5am and I like damn I have to get up, do I have to get up? I get up bring him into the livingrm, turn on the cartoons, give him his little snacks and some milk and I jump in the shower to try and wake up. I felt like a freaking zombie I do most morning but especially Monday mornings it's my least favorite day of the week. Then after I'm dressed I get to the fun task of trying to get a toddler dressed and out the door for our daily trek to the babysitter and sometimes I ask myself why the f* am I doing this? Why do I go through this s* on a daily basis? I'm sure a lot of mothers ask themselves that question a lot sometimes I wonder is the paycheck worth all of this crap? I've given it much thought and honestly I say no but I guess that depends on who you talk to. I honestly think i'd be a better mother if I stood home I wouldn't be tired all of the time, short tempered, etc. it's not easy and while I know some financial obligations don't allow for some to stay home I sure wish there were more part-time opportunities out there. Babysitting don't get me started on that, that alone is another issue and cost. Lately i've just been getting so tired of the bs at work. It seems like i'm the only doing the work let me rephrase that I know I am. I can't believe how clueless these people are in mgmt that they can't see that this individual just comes in does minimal bs work and gets paid to take up space, boy I wish I had such a sweet deal. Well honestly i'm getting tired of it, tired of working hard, doing a quality job and it seems like i'm not appreciated, I see all of the favoritism and office politics and its really starting to work my nerves if I didn't have financial obligations and I had a better amount of savings I would say screw this and leave but I have a child to think about so I hang in there but with the current economic crisis and the state budget in crisis I'm considering other opportunities b/c the budget is 2 months late and they had better not think anyone would be working for free simply b/c Albany can't get their shit together. Another rant is the MTA oh how I cant stand them! I've always said it and I will reiterate it for the millionth time, they are one of the most mismanaged greediest sneakiest agency in the state. I just realized today as I was coming home from work that my train line is going to change due to budget crisis no more brown M changing to orange meaning two lines are going to be condensed which is going to be a commuter's nightmare a.k.a one big cluster fuck crowds and all thanks to their incompetence slashing budgets, token clerks and yet their getting a freaking raise really wtf with what money? So now I and many others who live in this area june 27 will have a much more annoying commute to work, thanks so much MTA for the consideration of our concerns, commutes, wallets, and the public hearings which people attended in which you pretended to give a crap about the commuters which we all know you don't give a shit b/c you still passed all of the cuts and will probably pass more and have the nerve to raise the fare on us to pay for what more increases? pay more to get less seems to be the motto these days. Seems like everything is going up but your paycheck even though the economy sucks I see prices going up a few cents here and there bottles looking smaller and I'm thinking this is crazy but it's not going to get any better another reason why I'm considering relocation do I really want to be bothered with all of this stress and crap? I know I must be smart about the relocation thing and not be hasty but I'm still considering it. I know life isn't perfect but I know I can do better than where I am now. I worked my ass off today and will probably do it again tomorrow but I say people always appreciate things when they're gone and that's what's going to happen in this case. I'm just going to spring it on them that I'm leaving one of these days. I've come to a crossroads in my life where I feel i've done what I can do here time to move on to a new chapter. with that said ends my daily rant as I'm going to try and relax before I go to bed to repeat the same routine all over again.