rant 2

Lately i've been feeling really tired, aggravated and short tempered and I've been very forgetful I ask myself a lot where is your mind? It seems like I forget everything if I don't write it down or do it the night before. I have to be more organized and this heat doesn't help my mood I tend to get in a bad mood when it's hot. This past weekend was the same routine clean the house, then go to the store and when I arrived at Walmart it was very crowded and on top of that they're doing a ton of renovations and they only have ONE bathroom open inside the store and van of porto pottys outside behind the store in the garden area and i'm wtf I wasn't feeling well and I needed to get to the bathroom and it seem like a never ending adventure just to find a rest room only to use it and see some guy coming in after I left to wash my hands to tell me I was in the men's bathroom i'm like uh no it's both men and women. I can't believe that this store would be so stupid not to have separate facilities for men and women what if I came out and he was at the urinal! gtfo! so of course I now have to find another Walmart to shop at until this one gets fully remodeled or I just like the next one better and never go back. Today I call a park to get info about the pool and this women hangs up on me in mid sentence and I couldn't believe how rude and unprofessional I swallowed hard lucky for her I was at my desk at work b/c had I been home I would've called back and cursed her out. I sit and think sometimes and wonder how some ppl get their jobs b/c they're are some the stupidest, rudest, and any other verb that comes to mind. These past few days at work it's been pretty slow not a good things b/c the day drags forever and let's be for real you can only pretend to look busy for so long. Recently I heard from a friend and we spoke for a while and it kind of made me realize that while I may have problems there are people out there who have a lot worse problems than me and I have to be thankful for what I do have. I feel bad for him b/c I know he's going through a lot and he's trying to get things together but life just has a way of slapping you in the face with an even more bigger pile of shit to sort through which I've experienced myself and continue to experience. Sometimes there are days where I know exactly what I want to do next and some where I don't know and it's frustrating to me it's almost like I'm afraid to apply for other jobs b/c maybe deep down inside I'm used to working for the City and the perks it has but on the other hand I want to try something new as someone mentioned to me there is bs in every job and yes that's very true but when you dread going to work everyday it's time to move on b/c how long am I going to wait for a number off a list or a hiring pool to come up? Tomorrow is finally Friday and by the time it comes I'm usually exhausted and can't wait to go home but at least tomorrow I get to sleep in an extra hour which is great for me b/c every bit helps. The baby goes to his follow appointment at the ENT and we'll see what comes out of this visit if he says the same thing we're going for a second opinion b/c I want to make sure this is medically necessary and not some schmuck just trying to make a quick buck from the insurance company at our son's expense. This weekend we're going to the park and pool provided the weather cooperates b/c there's no way I can continue the same routine come home get up the next day to just clean run errands and come home there has to be some time for recreation rest and a break so I'm praying that the weather cooperates. I'm still considering the relocation as a long term goal down the road I get really tired of the fast pace, expensive cost of living, etc. a lot of times and my commute to work is going to get more annoying as they're canceling a whole train line the V and totally screwing up my train M which of course is going to add more stress and aggravation not only to me but millions of others who live in this area of brooklyn and queens I think had I known this crap was going to happen I probably wouldn't have moved into this area. All of this thanks to budget cuts thanks to the MTA how I can't stand them every time I hear that slogan "going your way" I said oh stfu! if that were true tons of people wouldn't be inconvenienced and I wouldn't have to take 2 trains to work. I have no idea why they even bothered to have public hearings, etc. if they were going to do whatever they wanted anyway. I sure hope we get a break from this heat soon b/c it makes you feel so lazy tired and it seems like nothing you do keeps you cool. Well this is the end to my daily rant I'm going to cool off by taking a nice cool shower watching some tv and blast my ac hope tomorrow the day will go fast.