It has been a while since I've blogged I used to make time but lately there is no time. On my daily ride to work and just my luck I get into train car that either stinks or someone in it does. Its monday my least favorite day of the week I usually need an extra day to recuperate I cant believe how time is flying by its July and 7 months just flew by so fast my job resembles a ghost town so many ppl have either moved on or reassigned due to budget issues. kinds makes me wonder why the heck am I still here and then reality hits me Im a single parent who has to work to support myself and my son and cant afford to be picky esp now with today's economy. It has been an interesting journey next month will be one year that he moved out and while it was very traumatic for me it has also been an experience where I've learned many hard lessons about relationships and life in general but I've also started learning who I am again after being in a ltr for 13 yrs. Getting back into the dating scene has been an experience it itself adventurous and disappointing and discouraging at times I wonder if I will ever find love again or if I am even wife material and taking a good hard look at myself and how I am maybe I'm not. My last two dates first one wasnt bad but the last one bombed miserably disappointing b/c we had such a great connection on the phone etc but in person idk what happened but he didnt open door for me at place and seemed more interested in the game on the flat screen and when I texted if we'd meet again I got a reply of someday which transates into "never" what a waste of time and metro north tickets had it not been I traveled so far I wouldve walked right out. Ive done a few more winks online got a not interested msg and I've come to the consensus that ppl are full of shit they dont know what they want or just want sex or to play mind games and mind games are for kids and Im way past that stage so I guess flying solo isnt so bad after a while but sometimes an occasional fwb visit to address the itch I cant scratch alone as Im only human and have physical needs. I'm looking for something and someone real not easy to find. All the papers are in process and I long for the day that I get my divorce decree in the mail so I can be free legally and continue with getting on with my life and taking care of jr as I feel Im going to have a long fight ahead with social security,school director it is a shame that people feel the need to lie to side track you from getting what your kids need. Looking fwd to my aunts visit this wknd it will be nice to have some company around to shop hang out etc.
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