Summer is near

It seems like May just came and flew by it's already May 21st. The weather is getting warmer which is a good thing but sometimes we have so many differences in weather that I wish the climate would make up it's mind. I've been busy with work, my son and just life overall. I got a procedure done to get rid of abnormal cells on the cervix which was no pleasant experience but it had to be done. There are days I'm very tired and lazy don't feel like doing much these past two weekends I've been able to catch up on rest and relax. This month are a lot of birthdays my mother my cousin and my grandfather. My grandfather had a special birthday a milestone actually he turned 80. They had a nice celebration for him and I really wish I could've been a part of that but due to the distance and the lack of finances I could not. I long for the days when I can actually take a vacation (paid) vacation and enjoy myself I haven't taken a vacation since 2011 and I can sure use one but at the rate I'm going I think I will pass another summer here in NY not taking one it's sad but what can I do I have to focus on finding another place and using the funds saved for that. Another issue is up in the air stay here in NY or go to Jersey. I don't want to live Ridgewood but at the same time I have a really hard time affordng the rent and I don't want to leave my mom behind. Jersey may be further away but at least I can have an affordable rent. Another thing is the school system up there is it good better than NYC public schools, it's a lot to investigate and unfortunately I don't have enough time in the bank to make trips up there. This issue I had with HRA really left a bad taste in my mouth as I had to use quite the amount of time to finally get the outcome of being approved for one shot deal. I vow to never have to go to these people again for help. My mother's birthday I got a nice heart shaped carvel cake which we just sang happy birthday and put it back in the freezer until mother's day where we tore into it. Saturday before mother's day I took my mom and my brother to the Outback to celebrate mother's day and my mother's birthday. I haven't eaten there in a while and the food is as delicious as it always is. This is the last month of pre-school for my son it seems like yesterday I was touring the school with him and he started and he has come such a long way since then and i'm sure he's going to miss the teachers and his classmates but I think he's eager to start kindergarten. He always ask me when am I going to PS88? lol. While I'm eager for him to start I'm also concerned b/c the regular school system is very different from the pre-school one. Sadly I applied for the ASD nest program and he wasn't accepted into it but they felt while he's very bright he wasn't at the same level as the other students who had more advanced reading levels, etc. I was disappointed but I want what's best for him and if that's not it for now he has sometime to catch up on his reading math and other subjects. June 7th is his graduation and they're planning to do a show for us which I look forward to seeing he already knows his graduation song by heart. He sounds so adorable singing it. Since my last entry my ex husband announced that he has remarried and while I was surprised it was so soon I knew it would happen eventually while he doesn't know this it just proves to me that this was going on way before he says but who cares at this stage of the game in a weird way it actually does bring me some closure. I worried about if he would bring his new wife to the graduation which of course would be akward and I'd be pissed off but it seems like he has more sense than that one can only hope. I plan to get a graduation cake for jr carvel of course and take him out to chuck e cheese that's if his father doesn't beat me to it lol or find somewhere special we can all go b/c he's achieved a lot and he deserves to be rewarded. I hope this summer I will get to do more and that my feet actually touch the beach this year have to get creative b/c sadly a vacation is out of the question unless a miracle happens this is a side effect of divorce that I really hate and swallow hard. My mother has started physical therapy and while she hates and complains of pain she's going and seems to get around much better than before. In the love department I began talking to someone I stopped talking to for a little while and I really like him a lot but the only thing I see being a challenge is we live in different states. I've been unhappy for too long already and I'd like someone who will be good company where we can enjoy each other's time go out see things. If things are meant to be they will happen I guess but for now it's the same old routine week in week out of working get paid pay bills etc. If I could've hit the power ball *sigh*