Thanksgiving thoughts of life.

It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have to say that I'm just not<i> in the holiday mode this year either. I'm flat broke so any blk friday deals or deals period have to be put on hold and of course bills come first. I used to love the holidays shopping for gifts, decorating tree, xmas cards, shopping for the dinner but after my marriage ended it's almost like my enthusiam went with it. The holidays now are about who is getting jr when and for how long when is he being dropped off? I still can't believe November is here one month left of 2012 and I'm still not divorced, this boggles my mind as I never realized the court system was this freaking slow. Tomorrow's dinner will be very quiet and simple as my brother won't be able to come down b/c the idiots at the center expect him to be back the same day which makes no sense to me at all considering the distance it is from upstate ny to the metro ny area. These past few days I've felt tired lazy depressed even I was supposed to see the doctor for my meds this week and I was so out of monday I didn't even go which isn't like me but sometimes going to this psychotherapy office is stress in itself from check in process to the looney tunes who attend this place sometimes they never see the patients on time which aggravates me to the point that I may even consider looking for another office. I haven't told my therapist yet but eventually if I don't see an improvement I will look into the other place. Thanksgiving is the season to be thankful for what we have in our lives and then to have a nice dinner to celebrate I think most people get together to stuff their faces, if you ever heard some of the conversations you hear in the supermarket or where ever you maybe it makes you wonder where people's priorities are these days. Most people are so self absorbed with their jobs, their electronics, money, etc. etc. This time is a time to give thanks for what we have b/c there are many people who aren't as fortunate as we are as bad as I feel sometimes I always take time to be thankful to realize that there is always someone else worse off than you. This time we should be thankful to have life, every day we wake up is another day to accomplish, be thankful that we have our health, a place to live, power and food on the table b/c right now there are people in the rockaways, jersey, long island and many others who don't even have the basic things to get by these days. Although we are not together no more I found out today my ex bro in law has lung cancer and I felt terrible b/c this is not news you want to hear during the holidays and he was diagnosed around them same time as my ex and I have him in prayer that he gets better and hope for the best the family relations aren't that great and I'm hoping that people can put their differences aside and give him the support he needs at this time. It makes me sad he's in his mid to late thirties with years of life ahead of him why now? This makes me realize life is precious and we never know what will be thrown out way or when. Life is too short for animosity, pettiness, materialism, selfishness, greed, etc. Life is not easy by far, but life your live to the fullest with no regrets and go for it if we don't take chances and think outside the box we will never know what lies behind that door or the road to choose.

back at home base

Today is Friday and I'm glad to be back home at our office. During the storm I went to a shelter a hs near my home and I went to the main office in long island city and I have to tell you that it was stressful especially when the trains weren't working to go up here I'd take a 45 min ride on the bus that was jammed packed and you know it's bad when you get on a bus at the beginning at the route and you can't get a seat. When the trains were restored travel became much easier but our stay at the main office was not a good one. These people play by a different set of rules there's a dress code tons of ridiculous rules and they were very territorial unwelcoming and rude. We couldn't laugh talk etc. we were told to "whisper" seriously are we in kindergarten?? @@. There were days I was bored to tears at this place with nothing to do and systems people trying to upload our systems we work on so I was mainly doing two functions of my job. I was tired of the lack of good places to eat as this place is literally in the middle of no where by the queensborough bridge. I decided to get creative and go to mcdonalds.com and I hopstopped and there was a place in Sunnyside 2 stops away on the train so to ease the boredom and have a change of scenery I pitched the idea to a co worker and we went over there tons of stores, pharmacy and choices for lunch. We ate Mcdonald's and I was finally able to have free wifi access with no password required. The nor easter was bad weather we got snow but with the sunny yet cold weather most of it has melted away but due to me wanting to keep my feet warm and my injured foot I'm still wearing my boots. Thursday evening I was relieved to leave that office for the day @4 pm and I headed to my therapist appointment where I killed time in duane reade and rite aid and walked to my appt. I usually let it all out all of my stresses etc. When I left my appointment and I saw the email that we can report back to our office I was happy I called a co worker to let her know and now that I'm here I think I will never complain again about this place b/c you start to realize how good you have it once you don't have something for a few days. The train system is slowly but surely getting back to normal but the north east has a long way to go before everyone rebuilds and recovers from this storm. NYC alone damages are about $33 million. It's 1:00 and I'm off to lunch and I will try to stay warm out there.

casted my vote

Yesterday was an annoying tiring day our first half of our ride was on the bus and it was so crowded I had to let two buses pass by before we could get a bus that was already packed and we stood half the time my back was killing me from standing and all I could think about is how I can't wait to get back to the office this commute to long island city is annoying and tedious the neighborhood sucks and the people in this building are rude and annoying. There's all of these stupid restrictions in place the reception for my cell phone sucks and I couldn't get wifi access. The commute home wasn't too bad we got the train and bus back home but bus was crowded. Yesterday was jr bday and I picked up a cake from carvel and we sang happy bday to him nothing too fancy as it fell during the week and money is tight. Today was Election day and it felt good to sleep in but jr behavior was terrible and tried my patience every step of the way. Pharmacy lost my rx for the second time in a row and I was fed up I contacted corporate office b/c I'm sick and tired of dealing with incompetent people who don't give a damn about their jobs. In the afternoon I went to the jr hs to vote and I voted for Obama of course as I did 4 years ago b/c I'm just trying to see how Mitt and Ryan have this country's best interests at heart Obama was handed 8 years worth of fuck ups from the previous administration and people are stupid and unrealisitic they want a quick fix to this nation's problems and as it took many years to get into this mess it will make many years to get out of it if we ever fully recover from it. I'm confident I made the right choice and I will be praying and crossing my fingers tonight that he wins. Today in the evening I get a call that we have to report back to the same office yet again and I have to say that I'm pissed off and I'd wish these people would get our office back together already. I never thought I'd actually say this but I can't wait to get to work at our office. It's a convenient area with places to eat etc. This is part of sandy's after effects I hate the most besides the MTA delays and slow recovery of service. This friday I want to take it easy and relax for once instead of thinking about what needs to be done and going here and there.

sandy and getting the city back on track

It has been a crazy week dealing with all of the aftermath of Sandy and I have to say that many people in NYC always thought a major disaster like this could never hit our state b/c we're not in a hurricane zone, etc. as you can see we were all proven wrong with Irene and definitely now with Sandy. It has taught people some hard lessons one of them being Always be prepared always have a full tank of gas b/c you never know if you have to leave due to an emergency and have a back up gas container, have the necessary supplies such as flash lights, batteries, and a "go" bag and obey the evacuation orders Seeing the stupidity here in this city shows me how unprepared and how stupid some people are in this city. Here are a few examples: To the idiot who wanted to play lotto on Friday and couldn't b/c machine was still down got an attitude we just finish getting through a storm some places lost power how about using your $5 to get a sandwich and pray for brains and commonsense. To the idiots who said "they could fight water" and have to be saved by police and first responders with their 4 kids hmm unless your captain america or the almighty you should've gotten your stupid selves together with your kids and gone to the shelter seriously? What they going to do when a water was coming to the house wonder twin powers activate? Duh!!!! The point i'm trying to make is priorities your kids and their safety come first everything else is secondary cars, homes, etc. while painful to suffer property losses they can be replaced your life cannot. To the low lives who were looting business how dare you go so low on the totem poll to be stealing from businesses when you should be trying to help yourself and others. You can always be ghetto fabulous on any other day of the week. I've seen the best and the definitely the worst of people during this situation people are so selfish and rude not wanting to wait for things it's a shame when the police has to be patrolling gas stations b/c people have no sense I understand it's a frustrating situation but you're not the only one going through it and you cutting in front of someone to whom you have no idea who they are and their stresses you're asking for trouble. A guy who attempted to cut the line pulled a gun out on someone who complained and was arrested good for him I hope they give him jail time. I know several ppl who waited hours in line with no luck people with red gas containers had better luck. My son's father finally got some gas yesterday and I was relieved b/c at least he will see jr and be able to celebrate his birthday which is tomorrow. I hope and wonder that NYC does receive the federal funding it needs although I'm sure if our mayor wasn't such an a*hole and welcomed our president into the city to view the areas it would've come a lot faster to the hardest hit areas like jersey, parts of brooklyn, staten island and the rockaways. While I'm not a fan of Chris Christie by any means I admire the way he welcomed the president and his dedication to help the people of his state get the help they need. Friday I went to the main office b/c the shelter was closed since all evacuees were relocated I took the bus with a co worker and it was a smooth ride going home was bad. We assumed the bus stop directly across the street was correct one to go home and when we attempted to ask a mta driver she yelled at me my goodness what a ghetto waste of space I felt like punching her dead in the face as stressed as I was with how am I going to get to work to get paid thanks mr mayor and b/c of her stupidity we were lost half an hr trying to find a stop and then MTA wonders why no one can stand their workers and they get cursed at or assaulted b/c they're rude unprofessional and just want to take up space and collect a check like most city workers. Finally after half hour and my feet killing me we find the stop which was right up the block ran for the bus had to stand most of the way due to the crowds and they actually thought people would find this bus with a measly piece of paper used as a sign like they don't have the money to put a proper sign there. I got home around 5:30 exhausted but from what I hear the power has been restored to lower manhattan and 80% of trains are running so I'm crossing my fingers we get to go back to the office tomorrow b/c I sure don't want to deal with going to the main office again. Another lesson learned is never take your boring daily routine for granted as when things go wrong you're going to wish you had that routine I know I sure did. While I got through the storm okay I'm praying that people get the help they need to rebuild and whatever other services are needed and as thanksgiving comes this month we should be thankful for everything we have how ever big or little b/c as I've learned in life there's always someone worse off than you.