the months are flying by fast

It's been a while since I've blogged and my birthday came and went a thumbs up for us Leos and I can't believe how fast this month flew by before you know it December will be here. For the past few days all it did was rain over here and it is not easy traveling in the rain especially when I have to go to city and work trying to maneuver around all the umbrellas in the street, having to worry about the weather being bad and having to drop jr off in the sitter and hoping the bus comes on time. For 3 days straight I got a ride to the sitter and train and that only happened b/c my husband happened to be off but if it wasn't like that I'd be screwed either I guess I would've been paying for a cab. After a while rain makes me feel down tired and depressed, so I'm glad today to have finally saw the sun for a change. It was much easier and commute seems so much faster when the weather cooperates. This past weekend was the usual busy errands cleaning bills etc. and all it seems like is work work work ride the train back and forth and sometimes I get tired of it all, the daily rat race, the mindless office chatter, the ghettoness, I swear sometimes people just like to hear themselves talk sometimes in my mind I'm like stfu please I actually have work to do so I resort to plugging my ears with my ipod and disappear into some good music this week they've been playing some good 80's music and old school stuff while I work and it's nostalgic in many ways b/c when I listen to a song it reminds me of how old I was at the time what was in style or it could remind me of a particular experience in life. Music does great things for the soul and it does distract you from whatever is going on at the moment. I took an acceptable use technology training today and I thought it was laughable b/c mostly everyone uses the internet at work for email, etc. and I thought to myself let's be for real when there is absolutely nothing to do i've seen even my own mgr and supervisor online if you're not downloading porn or any other crap I don't see what the big deal is. Today was a slow day I was bored out of my mind, you can only fake looking busy for so long lol and I clicked internet explorer and there I was reading and surfing. It felt good to talk a walk today and not have to carry an umbrella for the next few days it's going to be pure sunshine and that's a good thing.

As much as I try to keep my head up and think positive but the mundane is just that "going through the motions" I realize that I'm sick of this place already. I'm sick of all the bs really b/c I know I'm capable of doing more and being in a more professional environment but what keeps me here as I've said so many times before darn I sound like a broken record is the crappy economy and my son to provide for. I was discussing this with a co worker of mine today on the ride home we're both sick of it she's going to retire in 2.5 yrs. and I wish I was retiring too but obviously that's a long time coming for me so I ask myself what's next for me? This crappy economy puts up so many obstacles today I saw someone who went to school for health courses etc. and she can't find a job and I couldn't believe it but then I thought the economy is bad and there's so much competition. I think I would feel worse if I had renewed my training etc and found myself in the same spot as years ago not being able to find a job in my field. This past weekend was stressful with a scare of my mother being sick she now has to watch her diet and take meds for cholesterol but she also has not stress herself out and unfortunately an individual who will remain nameless is the cause of a lot of unnecessary stress and aggravation. Sometimes I ask myself how hard is it do the right thing? I guess I say that b/c it's never been hard for me. I hope that with a change of diet, etc. things will get better but it only takes one day for something to happen to make you sit back and realize that life can change fast and we need to appreciate the ones in our lives more and not take people for granted. Sometimes I get tired of thinking of everything and taking care of others sometimes I wish people would take care of me for a change. It sounds selfish I know but I can't help how I feel sometimes. I know I look forward to our next vacation in December b/c I'm due for a rest again vacations never are as long enough as we'd like them to be. I had a bad case of insomnia last night and I hope I won't again this night. I'm glad that tomorrow is finally Friday well time for me to get some rest.