surgery, work, etc.

I can't believe August is here already 8 months of the year already gone, it seems like time flies by so fast and waits for no one. The hot weather came back today and it will be here tomorrow but I keep forgetting this is August so i'm sure we're bound to get another heat wave before the summer is officially over. Today was the baby's surgery and it was very nerve wracking at first when we arrived they make you fill out tons of paper work and sign a lot of papers when they called us I went in with him put on his scrubs my OR outfit and off we went it was very scary to see him on that table I stood with him until the anesthesia took effect and I left. Everything went well we were told the cyst was much bigger than they expected and when I saw him in recovery I was shocked b/c he looked all swollen it broke my heart to see my son like that he was extremely groggy and cranky as they told us he would be. After he drank some juice as they require and he came down from the anesthesia I signed the papers, they took the iv out and we went home. I feel such a sense of relief that the much awaited day is over tomorrow he has to go to the office to get the tube and dressings removed. I pray that he will never have to get this done again. I saw lots of kids in pain today and that's hard to see. I also felt very tired myself as we left very early in the morning I found myself falling asleep on the sofa so I know I will fall asleep easily tonight. I wish I didn't even have to go to work tomorrow or Friday but the good part is I'm only working half days so I will be out early and I'm kind of glad too b/c lately it's been extremely boring in the office it's slow b/c of summer I think and just some days have more to do than others. I sometimes ride the train home with someone I work with and we were talking about the status of the office and when I do this with people I'm very careful b/c I my motto is no one is your friend at work I've seen too many people get screwed at work by people they "thought they were cool with" or some how your comment you thought you were saying in confidence got back to the person you didn't want to hear. It sucks to think like that but that's how it is, I trust no one I've been stabbed in the back a few times myself. Anyway I digress we were talking about the nonsense of the office how work isn't fairly distributed, etc. and how two people don't pull their weight and she is getting tired of it and I told her my side that I feel I do the bulk of the work there and she agrees b/c she sees my daily report at the end of the week I get tired sometimes too of how some people get away with murder and honestly it all boils down to management. If management isn't good things like this will continue to go on. However what I didn't reveal is that I'm tired too and I have every intention of leaving that place when the time is right. I will miss a few people but overall I think a person knows when they've done what they can do somewhere and it's time to start new and I think I've reached this point a long time ago. I know I'm an intelligent person who has a lot to offer administratively and other wise and can do well someplace else I just wish it wasn't so hard b/c of the rotten economy. What I've realized is there's always going to be idiots, a-holes, brown nosers, haterade no matter where yo work b/c that's human nature. I plan to pursue health care because that's where I've always had an interest to work in clinical or even non clinical a fresh start is what I need maybe fewer hours in a week so I can be home earlier and spend time with my son people don't realize that it's not easy being a working mother especially working full time. There's just not enough part-time opportunities out there and not enough affordable childcare centers most of these places are ridiculously expensive and there's just not enough disposable household income for families to be able to afford it and not struggle every month, rent alone is like a mortgage payment. I'm just glad that the day has come to an end, my son is okay and asleep in his bed and hope that he will be back to his old self within a few days.