On my own two years later

The summer in NYC is always so short and before you know it September is here and it's back to school back to the routines and a sign that the Fall is near. I love autumn in New York the trees look so beautiful as they turn colors the weather gets comfortably cooler and my son was born in the Fall so it's always a special time. This summer was okay I guess I didn't make it to the beach again this year I guess I may still have labor day left and another vacationless summer which is disappointing but next year I'm definitely going to travel. I work very hard between work, bills, jr, the housework my body and mind is screaming for some time off. Everyone deserves a break. This week my son is away at Florida on vacation and it's very quiet when he's not at home lol but I do miss him already even though I know he's having a blast down there in the theme parks and beach. Saturday is my birthday I will be 36 years old and I wish that I was turning 26 or even less at 36 years old while I'm much more mature, wiser, and know what I want but I'm still uncertain as to what direction my life is going. Being a single mother is hard work especially financially and with today's ridiculous cost of living standards I find myself coming up short all the time. I'm just tired of feeling the stress and the pinch all the time and lately I've been experiencing stress and office stupidity at work and I finally reached my boiling point and emailed my manager. I tried to word it very professionally but get my point across as I think I should've done this long ago. A part of me in some way always wants to be the peacemaker at times and sometimes this doesn't always work I've learned with age and experience to "say what's on your mind" everyone else does. What's the worst that I can happen? They get upset well one less xmas card to give out in December @@. I look back on my life as I approach my 36th birthday and I kind of wish I'd have been in a better place financially, marriage wise, have had another child or children but the ugly truth is life doesn't always turn out like you want it to sometimes. This year two years on my birthday my marriage was officially over as I look back on it now I think it was over for a long time but I wanted to make it work or maybe both us just couldn't admit to failure and close the door on it. Now two years later I'm working raising my son learning to be a better cook, better mom, and trying to enjoy life. Being on my own has taught me many lessons good and not so good. I've learned during the hard times who my friends are and whose full of it. I've learned who are real friends and who are glorified acquaintances who just want to stick by when times are good. A true friend is there for you in the good times and the bad, in truimph and defeat. Months past and I got a text from my son's godmother 6 months later after the disagreement I didn't respond back for the first time in years I didn't feel the need or want to. When you get to be a certain age you have no patience for petty bs and mind games I honestly don't I'm 35 going to be 36 saturday and I decided I want to have people in my life who are going to be a positive influence and have something to bring into the friendship. After many disappointments on the dating scene I began talking to a nice guy and we decided to meet on July 20th and we've been inseperable ever since. He is kind loving funny and very helpful and most importantly cares about both me and my son. Jr loves him. We went out as a group to see despicable me 2 and had a good time. For the first time in many years I feel that happiness that has been absent from my life for so long and I feel cared for respected and appreciated and while many people may think it's too soon but we are in love with each other and have plans for our future in the long term. I never thought I'd find a good companion again and I'm happy and life isn't as stressful as it was once. We talk we laugh watch movies I cook for him and actually enjoy doing this and no complaints and criticisms it's a great feeling to be appreciated. I received a letter from my son's school enclosed with a school supplies list which is long indeed and I'm informed that school starts sept 9 and they have a half day and regular session ends at 2:20 pm and this of course puts me in a bind as I get out at 4 pm and I'm sure this inconveniences other working parents as well so now I have to figure out how to juggle this yet again. I read the letter and became a little sad and teary eyed I can't believe jr is starting kindgarten it seems like yesterday he was born and I was bringing him home from the hospital they gave me a school identification tag with his name and class # on it. He will be in a two teacher classroom and the tag had both names on it. I worry about him how he will transition from pre-school to kindergarten but I think he will be okay. This year he will be turning 5 a special birthday we have to plan how we are going to celebrate. On another note my knee has been giving me a lot of pain and discomfort and I saw the orthopedist this week and I need an mri of my right knee and see a surgeon I think I need surgery to repair this issue as my knee locks when I walk or just hurts a lot and of course I worried about how will I get by and I had to research disability coverage. I will file the application but I think a country as sophisticated as ours should be ashamed of themselves as they have some of the worse benefits for american employees, especially when it comes to childcare, family leave, maternity, and disability coverage. Instead of worrying about real things that matters it seems like these politicians are just concerned about getting votes than living up to the smoke they blow into our ears. Well it's after 11 and while there's nothing to do it's back to work as the cubicles have eyes and ears here smh.