Time to move on

I've been contemplating this move for a long time but economic necessity and my son and a shitty economy has held me back from making it happen. I've been at same place for 7 years and through those years I've seen a lot of people come and go good people that you're sad to see go and some not I see that a lot of people use this place as means to gain knowledge experience and move on and that's what I thought I'd do too but I winded up staying a lot longer than I expected I got married had my son got divorced and lately I've seen a change in the staff here and it's starting to leave a bad.taste in my mouth. There are certain people who.shouldn't be in supervisory or management positions they lack the professionalism it takes to do the job efficiently when you have a.person who treats you a certain way makes notice of.things only you do something as petty as ring tone while four other worker's phones go off you've got to wonder it's personal and or if it's something deeper within themselves I think it's personal  I've had to.bring this to.the manager's attention in the past and it wasn't easy because I don't like drama anyplace especially work related but I had already had.enough and while I saw some change a leopard doesn't change their spots and I see the same behaviors come out here and there. You come to a point where you get tired of the office politics and bs and I have I've been there before at my first job I dreaded coming to work and they say when that happens it's time to go and when I did I felt like a whole weight was lifted off of me but I also didn't have a son to support so it made the.decision that.much easier.  Not too toot my own horn I consider myself to be an intelligent person with a lot to offer but I don't see myself advancing here I see myself stagnant and this just.being a.dead.end due to politics and no available City opportunities to take advantage of.  A city job to most people especially here in NY is a hot commodity and a privilege and great benefits etc yes there are perks but there's also a lot of nonsense too like having money for computers and hyper educated people with huge salaries but there's no cost of living raise for the support staff who really make this city run to ease the pinch of the forever rising cost of living in this city and gentrification a word and action I despise because it's pricing people out and pretty soon we will have the very wealthy and poor. The middle-class can't afford to live here no more 1500-2000 for rent which can easily be someone's monthly income who has money for extra or to save. I used to think it was the best thing but as the years pass I realize not everything is what it seems It may take me a while but if I achieve anything this year I want it to be a new job it's always scary to embark on a new journey but if we don't spread our wings we'll never know what's there to explore. I've conquered this already I've learned a.great deal and.met some.great people along the.way but.it's.time to say farewell

Bridgegate: Who's who? - New York News

Bridgegate: Who's who? - New York News

This is based on the recent scandal that broke out in the news about the New Jersey chief of Staff ordering lane closures leading to Fort Lee NJ in retaliation for not endorsing republican candidate for governor of the state Chris Christie.  I'm not a fan of his by any means but I see that he's not the typical republican candidate you see on the news channels like Fox CNN and all over the media which is why I think many republican conservatives don't like him because they think he's too moderate I guess but getting back to the link it identifies all of the people responsible for these lane closures that caused hours of gridlock traffic and many other inconveniences and all for what?  It baffles me that in this day and age of technology and social media that this former chief of staff would stoop so low to write this email and think she wouldn't be caught for doing so.  Many people seem to forget at work where ever office you work at be it a high position of authority like hers or any other office job you have no right to privacy there's even a disclosure at my job telling you this before you log on whatever you do the computer department can find out and don't ever think because you hit that delete key that what you do cannot be retrieved it can it be recovery software or a very skilled IT person so people need to be careful what they do at work.  Just reading the remark it's time to cause some trouble sounds very immature infantile I think it was very poor judgement on all of this staff part and I think they all deserve to lose their jobs because of what they did and many people are implicating that the governor knew all about it that remains to be known and he can apologize all he wants at the end of the day an investigation will be done and people will be held accountable as these people were.  No one deserves retribtuion simply because they didn't endorse someone in their campaign for office the last time I checked we can pick whomever we want that's why we have the right to vote and freedom of choice. 

20th anniversary of the Metro card

The MetroCard is celebrating 20 years of swiping this week, but it has only several years of life left as the MTA devises the next fare payment system. The replacement for the iconic subway token was introduced in 1994 at the Whitehall Street and Wall Street stations. The cards, originally blue with gold lettering, were brought to the rest of the subway system in 1997. But for all the beneficial changes the MetroCard brought to riders -- free transfers, 30-day unlimited rides, faster boarding times and the end of two-fare zones -- a 20-year anniversary is not necessarily a milestone to celebrate. "I was hoping we wouldn't have it this long," said Andrew Albert, an MTA board member. "I think New Yorkers will be very happy when we can put the MetroCard to bed." The MetroCard system is at the end of its useful life and will be too costly to maintain past 2019, the MTA has said. In its place, the agency envisions a new open system that would allow outside companies to develop multiple ways for riders to pay their fare. That could include bank-issued contactless "tap-and-go" smart cards, smartphones or account-based devices. "Part of this whole effort is to provide customers with more options in terms of how to pay their fare," MTA spokesman Kevin Ortiz said. The system would also allow a rider, for example, to transfer from a subway to a commuter rail "seamlessly, with one device, one method of payment," Ortiz said. The new technology would also be a money saver for the MTA, which is responsible for vending machine and turnstile maintenance. "Every dime you save is a dime less the fare has to go up," said Bill Henderson, executive director of the citizens advisory committee to the MTA. In 2006, the MTA tested contactless payment system as a possible replacement for the MetroCard. The idea to phase out the MetroCard gained traction under MTA chief Jay Walder, who had introduced the Oyster Card in London. Walder in 2010 tested a contactless smart card system on parts of the Lexington line, the PATH and seven city buses; he resigned from the MTA a year later. Meanwhile, transit agencies in Chicago, Philadelphia and Atlanta have moved their payment system into the 21st century. But the MTA is optimistic that a fully functional and integrated system will be in place by 2020, Ortiz said. He added the MTA hopes to have request for proposal out this year. "I'm probably a little frustrated by the pace," said Allen Cappelli, an MTA board member. "Once you start embracing technology, you want it yesterday." On my way to work I usually pick up the free newspaper AMNY or Metro and in today's AMNY I came across this short article and I can't believe how fast time flies. In 1994 I was in my junior year of high school with no responsibilities no bills a figure I wish I had now and we were using tokens and on privately owned buses dollar bills and change. I remember when I got my first metro card I didn't even know how to use it in the bus and unlike tokens I had to remember to check the balance on the card to make sure I had enough to ride the train and bus. Eventually they did away with tokens and dollar bill acceptance and the buses became all owned by the MTA. The introduction of the metro card made things easier for people also more affordable no more two fare zones and a free transfer from subway to bus. 20 years have gone by so fast I graduated high school in June 1995 so this making me feel ancient now but I'm guessing they didn't think the usage of this card would last this long I can't see how they want to retire these cards and use something else. I'm a firm believer if it's not broken don't fix it this would involve millions to install new fare boxes on the buses and turnstiles on the trains when all that money can be used to keep the fare from going up and improving the service which leaves a lot to be desired depending on what train you ride everyday The only thing I wish was still the same is the 1.25 fare it was back in 1994. Over the years the fare has gone up the values have also come and gone too back in those days you could get a fun pass for $4 and ride around unlimited till 2-3 am the next morning. Change can bring good and bad now the fare is 2.50 and the cost of a monthly metro card is now $112 a big difference from $63 a month and we have newer trains that announce the stops but are smaller and narrower and are also noisier for now I will keep using my card if they can figure out a better way down the road more power to them I think it's best to keep it simple I don't want another app or to use my phone leaving it vulnerable to be hacked with the many breaches already in banks and stores like Target recently that's something they'd really need to ensure that nothing like this can happen so we will see what the coming years bring.

Hair and how it defines us

Hair is important to us the style we choose the color we dye it the products we use and the cut.  I have to say that I'm tired of my hair. I have naturally curIy hair I've always have struggled with finding the right hair products someone who knows how to cut my hair without making me look like I have a mullet or a pyramid when I wear it down or trick me into using thinning scissors.  I've also tried long layers as short ones will make me look like bozo the clown.  I get annoyed and aggravated because most of the time I wind up just putting my hair in a ponytail or clip the sides up away from my face.  I have tried every product out there and have a hair products graveyard underneath my sink to prove it.  In October I wanted to get a much needed cut and a blow out since it was my boyfriend's birthday and wanted to look nice I was supposed to go to a salon and they never picked up so I can confirm the hours so I settled on going to a local salon big mistake.  I go in there and the $20 advertised in the window shoots up to $30 that's usually how it is when people see my hair I go to be shampooed and conditioned and there's someone ahead of me at no time did they try to maintain my hair wet to ensure a nice smooth blowout.  She starts cutting my hair and I asked for long layers she didn't understand I was done at this point but pressed for time I said to clip the ends only.  I sit in this chair with a ball of frizzy on my head I looked like zzz top or I had just woken up I was so mad I probably could've done a better job myself what saved me is the flat iron I insisted they pass it through several times that's the only thing that salvaged the  botched job.   All through this she passes the thinning scissors through my hair without even asking permission.   The next day I couldn't stand how brittle my ends felt I washed it out.   Fast forward to now I wash and condition my hair and it looks like crap no matter what I put in it. I've even considered getting a Brazilian keratin treatment done but I'm kind of skeptical to do it.  I've been to O uidad salon that specializes in curly hair in 2009 but I really didn't like the stylist or the way they use too much product or blow dryers I also use yelp to read up on reviews and I haven't been pleased with what I've read this plus a hefty price tag I won't be going.  I also went to Christos another curly salon.  I've heard about devachan salon and it's a curly salon in Soho and I did some research on their site as well as read yelp and I've decided to take the plunge and schedule an appointment for a haircut and I'm very nervous because I've gotten bad cuts in the past and it's a nightmare but I'm also tired of looking the same and being so hard to manage. New Year New me I think I owe it to myself to start this year off with a fresh style and fresh outlook.

I've always be identified because of my hair positively or negatively when kids can be mean and while curly hair is a unique feature of me I'd like to finally be able to get a style that I can be proud to wear instead of hiding behind a ponytail. 
There are good stylists out there there are bad ones there are also ones who have attitude and pick and choose who to style my philosophy is if you can't listen or have skill with a pair of scissors don't become a stylist.    I'm hoping for the best at this salon and if all else fails there's always a baseball cap ponytail or keratin treatment as a last resort

post christmas

It's the day after Christmas and I should be in my warm bed and sleeping in but I'm at work with the skeleton crew staff for after the holiday. I missed the deadline to take off but I'm making sure I'm not missing it again next year. It was very hard for me to get out of bed this morning into the shower and out the front door both of us. It was a quiet Christmas like I anticipated it to be. I've been going through alot and my significant other was alone for the second year in a row because his father flew out of state to visit his sister and the rest of his family is out of state. No one should spend the holidays alone and it makes me angry that no one thought of him not even his own father to see if maybe they could help him out with airline tickets, nothing but people are quick to complain why you don't see them often enough I've experienced this and sometimes money has a lot to do with it airline travel isn't what it once was and neither is the cost. I know nothing about the west coast but from what I see the tickets are very expensive. I saw him cry and it broke my heart to see him hurting I tried to make it a good holiday but nothing takes the place of family. My brother showed up on Christmas Eve and I felt tired that day because I had to work you'd think they'd people go home early that day nope not this place. On Christmas Eve I went to pick up the food I'd ordered and it was good food but would I order food again probably not. I'd rather make my own to be honest with you. Christmas Eve he made a lasagna I will give him an A for effort but it didn't come out right while it didn't taste bad it was too much sauce or meat we all ate but he felt bad I said don't feel bad I've done my fair share of bombs in the kitchen many failed attempts at arroz con pollo, pork chops that were like hockey pucks, a cake from scratch that was a stale mess raw on the inside everyone messes up something no one is perfect the important thing that we were together. My son went with his father for Christmas Eve and this is the part of divorce that's never easy splitting the holidays but since this was the first time he'd gotten both holidays off I let him go for Christmas Eve he came home after 3 and I can sense the akwardness I said Merry Christmas to him we opened gifts my son was very happy when he saw the Nintendo Box but still asked where the PS Vita was these kids lol. I told him Santa ran out of them. After he opened his gifts I saw he quickly left and I can see the sadness for a moment there I also felt it too but I tried to focus on my son and his happiness with xmas and serving dinner. Besides the food I made coconut flan for dessert everyone else loved it but me I'm my own worse critic still trying to perfect the recipe. After eating I felt extremely tired almost falling asleep but I'm relieved that the holidays are over I'm hoping that next year the emotional financial situations are better and we are all in better spirits because this year has been a rough one and I am looking forward to a brand new year and a fresh start,.

the grinch

It's Thursday night and I'm home beside the Christmas tree and while everyone has the holiday spirit and is probably doing holiday shopping and food preparations the only thing I have up is my xmas tree and I'm reminded of the holidays by watching many a holiday cartoon special when my son is home or hearing holiday music on the radio but am I in the holiday spirit this year? No. These past few years haven't been easy for me but I think so far this has been pretty rough I didn't even do holiday cards this year I was planning on making a small dinner but even that I've scratched off my list. Have I become the Grinch? A broke Grinch perhaps but also someone who is experiencing a lot of stress sadness disappointment anger frustration in life right now due to financial issues and family issues. Last night was another day another dollar and as I pray every day a safe uneventful commute home with minimal b.s. did the usual unwind prepare dinner do homework with jr bath and off to bed. After putting him down I usually retreat to the TV for some final down time usually consisting of watching my shows of choice Law & Order, CSI, ID, and maybe food network. It was getting close to 11 pm and I'm ready to go to bed and my door opens and it's him again with the same unwanted pest. I was shocked but infuriated because I know I speak English and I made it clear what the rules were in my house I wanted to scream curse but I remained calm and finally my eyes couldn't stay open much longer I tell them I'm going to bed and I got attitude from him and they left and off to bed I went but when you have a lot of shit on your mind and your angry your adrenaline is pumping it took a while but I fell out and got up at 6 a.m. I am officially done! I've had it and today I let this person know that they will have to make other arrangements and they need to get clean and sober and I'm very disappointed with the path that they've chosen to take in their life I ask myself why? why our family? why can't people do the right thing or get their lives together? I'm far from perfect but this is not something I can continue to put up with. I'm now the bad rat because I put my foot down my mother seems to forget that it's my home my rules and rules apply no matter where you live you follow or you get out. I can't believe the amount of guilt family can put on us when we stand up for ourselves. This is doesn't make me love a person any less, it means you need help and while I've tried I can no longer do it and I'm not even qualified to provide the help that's needed here. All of a sudden I'm being made to feel as if I'm ungrateful and I quote my life revolves on my relationship with this new person that made me so angry because it's so untrue. I bust my a** working 35 hours a week to try and survive and it's for MY SON and to keep things running at home and yes this person is a very important part of my life. I have every right to have him in my life, because I as well as everyone deserves to have happiness in their life I went through plenty of toads before we finally met and why should I give that up? I won't. I've learned this lesson many times in my life but in different ways You cannot please everyone. Tough love is the hardest love we have to give but many times it's the love people NEED. I've tried to fight back tears at work and now home yes this bad rat actually is sad and upset besides being angry I actually have feelings too. I also unfortunately work Christmas Eve which totally sucks and the day after so I will be another member of the skeleton crew again. I missed the deadline to take off because it seems like every time I want to save up hours something comes up. My body and mind are exhausted and I'm dire need of a vacation and I'm going to make it happen this year 2014 come hell or high water. This holiday season will be a simple and somber one we plan to order some food from Boston Market this year and while I'd rather make my own especially since I've gotten into the cooking thing me working and life's circumstances just aren't permitting it. I guess there's always next year. Sunday I plan to go to the store and pick up my son's very special surprise for Christmas and I've come to the point that as long he has a nice Christmas with things to enjoy that's what important to me. I try to be thankful for the things I do have but right now what I need is strength and peace to overcome this hurdle right now. 2014 needs to be a healthier prosperous joyous year.

withered wednesday

December has arrived and it's been a long hard year and I wish I had the holiday spirit but I don't not even close towhat it used to be it seems like I'm an indentured servant working to pay rent and bills many a time I cannot coverall of my expenses so one bill will get paid the other will not and I ask myself am I destined to live such a miserable existence? I find myself in a bad mood most of the time wondering how I'm going to manage it all and all I wind up with is a big headache. I roll out of bed in the morning wishing I could just stay in my warm bed and not have to deal with the freezing weather and commuter stupidity. Friday is the office xmas party and I'm not going notonly am I not in the mood but I don't socialize with anyone outside of work past few parties have been boring musical chairs for real,? I'll pass thanks. On monday I got a little bit of xmas spirit when I came home from work to see my son greet me with a red hat and want to decorate the tree which we did and now the cat has a new place to sleep and the other kitten will play with and knock down ornaments. I work xmas eve so more likely than not even though the Latinos celebrate the 24th I will make something for the 25th. I also work the day after xmas which sucks but if I'm still here next year I'm making sure I'm off for both thanksgiving and day after xmas. I submitted copies of my receipts to the greedy jerk and I haven't received anymore threatening mail I guess it's because he knows that he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on I paid it all the rest is up to you. I think one of the few good things goingon in my life is my relationship with my guy he's a wonderful person and source of support he makes me see some of sort of optimism when I don't see or feel none. This weekend I saw some of my extended family which doesn't happen very often due to distance and life overall it's nice to see people but to some degree I feel we are like strangers especially after my grandmother died. This weekend I got into a disagreement with my brother and he left the house. Why is it when you stand up for yourself and put your foot down you're the bad rat well I am now due to saying what I will not allow in my home. It's hard to see someone who was doing so well making all the wrong choicesand is seeing someone whose a bad influence he makes it seem like I've kicked him out which I didn't but wherever you go there are rules to follow he plans to seek another facility I hope he's successful but I've given my home etc and this is not what I deserve in return but that's how families are we take each other for grantedand think family is required to put up with things. I see his absence having a traumatic effect on my son because he's very close to his uncle but the boundaries need to be in place and he needs to worry about getting back on track and taking care of his health issues. I see this situation having a negative effect on the holiday celebrations even though I didn't plan on this happening when something bothers us we have to address it immediately not let things build up that's my fault but only time will tell how things turn out I'm hoping that the coming year will bring me good luck good health new beginning for us and some positivity.