Summer is near

It seems like May just came and flew by it's already May 21st. The weather is getting warmer which is a good thing but sometimes we have so many differences in weather that I wish the climate would make up it's mind. I've been busy with work, my son and just life overall. I got a procedure done to get rid of abnormal cells on the cervix which was no pleasant experience but it had to be done. There are days I'm very tired and lazy don't feel like doing much these past two weekends I've been able to catch up on rest and relax. This month are a lot of birthdays my mother my cousin and my grandfather. My grandfather had a special birthday a milestone actually he turned 80. They had a nice celebration for him and I really wish I could've been a part of that but due to the distance and the lack of finances I could not. I long for the days when I can actually take a vacation (paid) vacation and enjoy myself I haven't taken a vacation since 2011 and I can sure use one but at the rate I'm going I think I will pass another summer here in NY not taking one it's sad but what can I do I have to focus on finding another place and using the funds saved for that. Another issue is up in the air stay here in NY or go to Jersey. I don't want to live Ridgewood but at the same time I have a really hard time affordng the rent and I don't want to leave my mom behind. Jersey may be further away but at least I can have an affordable rent. Another thing is the school system up there is it good better than NYC public schools, it's a lot to investigate and unfortunately I don't have enough time in the bank to make trips up there. This issue I had with HRA really left a bad taste in my mouth as I had to use quite the amount of time to finally get the outcome of being approved for one shot deal. I vow to never have to go to these people again for help. My mother's birthday I got a nice heart shaped carvel cake which we just sang happy birthday and put it back in the freezer until mother's day where we tore into it. Saturday before mother's day I took my mom and my brother to the Outback to celebrate mother's day and my mother's birthday. I haven't eaten there in a while and the food is as delicious as it always is. This is the last month of pre-school for my son it seems like yesterday I was touring the school with him and he started and he has come such a long way since then and i'm sure he's going to miss the teachers and his classmates but I think he's eager to start kindergarten. He always ask me when am I going to PS88? lol. While I'm eager for him to start I'm also concerned b/c the regular school system is very different from the pre-school one. Sadly I applied for the ASD nest program and he wasn't accepted into it but they felt while he's very bright he wasn't at the same level as the other students who had more advanced reading levels, etc. I was disappointed but I want what's best for him and if that's not it for now he has sometime to catch up on his reading math and other subjects. June 7th is his graduation and they're planning to do a show for us which I look forward to seeing he already knows his graduation song by heart. He sounds so adorable singing it. Since my last entry my ex husband announced that he has remarried and while I was surprised it was so soon I knew it would happen eventually while he doesn't know this it just proves to me that this was going on way before he says but who cares at this stage of the game in a weird way it actually does bring me some closure. I worried about if he would bring his new wife to the graduation which of course would be akward and I'd be pissed off but it seems like he has more sense than that one can only hope. I plan to get a graduation cake for jr carvel of course and take him out to chuck e cheese that's if his father doesn't beat me to it lol or find somewhere special we can all go b/c he's achieved a lot and he deserves to be rewarded. I hope this summer I will get to do more and that my feet actually touch the beach this year have to get creative b/c sadly a vacation is out of the question unless a miracle happens this is a side effect of divorce that I really hate and swallow hard. My mother has started physical therapy and while she hates and complains of pain she's going and seems to get around much better than before. In the love department I began talking to someone I stopped talking to for a little while and I really like him a lot but the only thing I see being a challenge is we live in different states. I've been unhappy for too long already and I'd like someone who will be good company where we can enjoy each other's time go out see things. If things are meant to be they will happen I guess but for now it's the same old routine week in week out of working get paid pay bills etc. If I could've hit the power ball *sigh*

Clothing Size, Shape, Weight and what is the norm for today's woman

It’s no wonder that so many of you are scratching your heads and wondering just what are you supposed to be aiming for in this weight and size game. What size is “normal” – what is an average weight anymore? To answer this question, let’s look at some facts. The average starlet is wearing a size 2 or 4 which is the sample size designers are making presently. Today, the average American woman is 5’4″, has a waist size of 34-35 inches and weighs between 140-150 lbs, with a dress size of 12-14. Fifty years ago, the average woman was 5’3-4″ with a waist size of approximately 24-25″, she weighed about 120 lbs and wore a size 8. Curiously, over the past twenty years, fashion model sizes have dropped from a size 8 to 0. Whenever I hear 0 I can’t help but envision an invisible woman. It gets more interesting when you look at changes in women’s bodies and dress sizes dating from the 1950′s. There was actually a uniform sizing system for women’s clothes until the US Department of Commerce dropped it in 1983 noting that the traditional sizes were no longer reflecting the size and shape of the average consumer. Today, in order to cater to women’s vanity, as women have gotten larger, designers have manipulated sizes so that truly larger sizes are marked as smaller. A size 8 in the 1950′s is now a size 4 or less today. Sizing from brand to brand is now so variable that most women fill their closets with at least two or three sizes. I took a piece of this article and I wanted to blog about it b/c my weight is something I've struggled with for a long time. I didn't gain much weight when I was pregnant maybe 6-10 extra pounds and I had terrible morning sickness which did nothing for my appetite when most women gain an extra 25 or more. I have to wonder what's normal I look in stores and on the runway and all of these models are rail thin to the point that some of them look unhealthy being fine boned and petite is one thing looking like a walking skeleton is another. Why do we have such a controversy about weight size etc.? Blame it on society the modeling industry who tells a woman who was a size 6 that she is too fat and sizes like 10 12 are considered plus sizes. Last time I checked Plus sizes were 18-32W. I say we need to focus on health first and remember that everyone's body make up is different some women are curvier than others and this also has a lot to do with diet and culture as well. I admit I like to eat and I need to start cutting back and exercising more but with a demanding schedule of a full time job raising a 4 yr old as a single mom I don't always have the luxury of spending 3 hours at the gym. An ob-gyn told me once I had to drop 50 lbs and go to the gym which I thought was very crass and rude that was back in 09 and yes I had gained a lot of weight jr had just turned one and same hectic schedule but I figured if you can sign me up and pay for my childcare I'd be happy to go and get fit as a fiddle if you say that to someone it would shut them up instantly. I admit sometimes I'm self conscious about my body and yes I could lose some weight and I wish I had flatter abs but I also like my curves and don't want to look like a skeleton even if I lost the weight I needed to. Eating like a bird just to be on the cover of a magazine isn't what should be encouraged these days a healthy diet eating everything in moderation, cardio like zumba, boot camp, etc. some strength training if you are up to it. yes but depriving yourself NOPE. I look in the mirror and yes I'm not even close to model standard size lol I know I'd be considered plus size and on that stupid scale of BMI I'd be considered obese which is a freaking joke but I have to be proud of my body and realize it's not all about body image it's about who we are as people and what are the positives and how we can contribute to society because just because someone is pretty on the outside doesn't make them a good person on the inside. I'd rather carry around a few extra pounds and be intelligent and have something to bring to the table and then be a size 0-4 and the only thing I have going for me is my looks. Self-respect and intelligence are beautiful things. Clothing companies need to get real and start making clothes to flatter everybody and true to size. One thing I can say fifty years ago up to about 20 yrs ago you bought a size 8 and it fit . No guessing game no buying two or three different brands. Jeans had enough stretch in them to be comfortable yet flattering. Now it's what size am I in this brand? I've went to old navy and got a size 12 jeans they're tight got a 14 too baggy it's ridiculous frustrated returned them. Got target jeans fit 1 size 10 perfect fit and $10 cheaper and 3% stretch stretch makes all the difference. So I've given up on old navy jeans for now until they change the material percentages. Companies need to make clothing for real women with real bodies not a bunch of thin bobble headed models with rail thin bodies and fake tits to match with a celery stick and carrot appetite yes Victoria Secret I'm referring to you. Curvy women are entitled to be sexy and desirable for ourselves and our men so get with the program and start designing a plus size line or make your large fit like large instead of medium they don't realize that they could make millions attracting this new market of clothing and add tons of people to their customer base by doing so I plan to write to them to pitch the idea. Some have physical beauty or others have inner beauty some a combination of both. I think we can tackle the obesity problem in this country by reinstating physical education in our schools, changing the menu at public schools if you saw some of the slop they service NYC school children you'd be infuriated that they can't do better and get your kids off the couch, off the tablet, laptop and TV and get them to MOVE and restrict the munchies and COOK actual food I know it's a far fetched idea with the hectic schedules of today driving though a drive thru is tempting almost everyday but think about the long term effects and get them bikes and take them to the park. The more they move expend energy and eat right the healthier they will be and making it a FAMILY effort helps too.

Woman, animals taken from squalid home - New York News | NYC Breaking News

Woman, animals taken from squalid home - New York News | NYC Breaking News

This is a sad story but one that makes me angry at the same time.  This woman who is obviously mentally disturbed was living in squalor along with a lot of animals in a home that was condemned by the department of health in 2011.  How was this person allowed to reenter this home after it was condemned to be a squatter and living in filth with no utilities?  There's really something wrong with this system and I've heard of many people squatting in the city these days.  It's a sign that there's not enough being done to help people but I also think animal shelters should keep track of how many adoptions they do b/c many people are NOT SUITABLE owners to have a pet, like a child they require love nuturing medical care food not to be forced to live like this and get sick and sometimes pass away.  I also think animal facilities should start neutering and spaying animals to be adopted this would also keep the pet population down.  If these neighbors were so concerned why didn't they call the health department and Adult Protective Services on this woman and maybe she could have been removed along with these animals and given the professional help she needs.  No one wants to get involved until things get to this point or it lands them 5 minutes of fame on a news broadcast.  I hope they're able to save the animals as I'm a loving responsible owner to my cat phoebe who we got from north shore back in 2004 and give her the social services and help she needs. 

Pro photographers in the delivery room - New York News | NYC Breaking News

Pro photographers in the delivery room - New York News | NYC Breaking News

ok I've heard of people wanting to make a family affair out of things like a wedding, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. but an audience in the delivery room when you're giving birth????????? What the hell has this world come to? We have lost our minds and the meaning of the word privacy.  No one knows how to keep their mouths shut and we have social media and other technology to help ease this stupidity along and now people wanting to hire photographers to film the birth and inviting family members?  I'm sorry but these people are crazy and stupid.  Save that money for his baby pictures or a college fund for the child.  This lady says when you're in that moment you don't get to enoy the experience uh HELLOOOOO you're in pain and trying to bring into the world a precious little baby and trying to get something the size of a watermelon out through the opening the size of a lemon is something I wouldn't want to recapture on film or would wan't ANY of my family or close friends seeing me spread eagled birthing a child but I guess to each is own. 

'Ice cream assault' on Long Island - New York News | NYC Breaking News

'Ice cream assault' on Long Island - New York News | NYC Breaking News

It really boggles my mind when I hear stories like this happen.  A man goes into a Carvel Store which I happen to love their icecream even though it is a bit overpriced,  with a free coupon for a icecream cone and it was expired is this an annoying experience sure is it's happened to me and most of us but I'd doubt I'd take it to these extremes.  He is annoyed by the clerk telling him it's expired and he has to pay $3.50 for the cone and honestly I think that is a rip off for a cone these days I paid $3.00 in manhattan last weekend from the mr softee truck in some supermarkets you can get a half gallon of ice cream on sale for that anyways he refuses to pay and the clerk instead of just calling her boss plus the police she decides to be a hero and follow him outside and he assaults her by punching her several times in the face injuring her.  The police eventually showed up and he resisted arrest and I have to wonder all of this drama over a freaking icecream cone seriously? I doubt Carvel was going to go bankrupt from $3.50 and if she saw this man was irrational she could've made an exception accepted the coupon and gotten rid of the lunatic and saved herself a lot of physical and mental pain yet I do understand her reasoning that it was expired but honestly you don't get paid enough to risk your life and safety over principle in my opinion.  He obviously has some issues that go way deeper than the icecream cone.  It just goes to show you that you never know what can happen in a day's work or what kind of kooks will stroll into any business.  He is where he needs to be right now in jail.

Jimmy for mayor

Jimmy for mayor: Jimmy McMillan is running for mayor.

I remember this guy and I thought he was hilarious but you know what he's got a point. The rent is too damn high.  It is very expensive to live in NYC these days and no rent in my opinion should be the cost of an average mortgage payment especially when you're never going to own it.  Do costs rise yes they do but why should I have to pay off someone's mortgage or some greedy building owner's ridiculous costs?  Rent is eating up at least half of people's salaries these days and something has to be done about creating more affordable housing that is accessible to New Yorkers.  The affordable housing options these days are ridiculous they're not in sync with today's cost of living and rent prices.  Everything is going up but your paycheck.  Gentification doesn't help this and I'm totally against it and I see a little bit of it neighboring brooklyn and in some parts of Queens.  No one should be priced out of their neighborhood if those hipsters want to live nice let them stay in the city or Brooklyn Heights but don't price out working class people out of neighborhoods where sometimes people have live for many years and are also elderly and can't afford to live any place else.   I was almost evicted twice once when me and my ex were still together and now that I'm on my own with my son.  It's an embarrasing and demoralizing experience to ask social services for help and it took me months to finally get approved for a one shot deal to cover my back rent b/c with a rent of 1,263 per month plus utilities food phone babysitting, etc. 30,000 is a year just not enough these days.  I don't want to hear budget better if I cut out anything else I will be without a TV and a kerosene lamp and it's ridiculous plus TV is a single parent's saving grace sometimes especially when you need to make some dinner or get things done around the house. This is why I have considered moving to New Jersey where the rents are much lower and affordable b/c I'm tired of struggling with these outrageous prices and apartments that aren't even worth the ridiculous prices they're charging not freshly painted clean and renovated.  I live in a 3 floor tenement building that's in desperate need of renovations and this man still has the nerve to charge these ridiculous rents.  They also make me laugh with jobs with a living wage 9, 10 an hr? really here in NYC where a studio can run 1,000 a month is some places it's stupid and unrealisitic I say let these stupid officials try to live off the stupidity they want to enforce the working class people to do and see if they make it I doubt they'd be so lucky. 

weekend routine

This weekend was like most cleaning organizing running errands and doing laundry. I don't know anyone who likes to do laundry or even more when you live in a urban city like NYC and have to go to the laundromat outside dragging a cart down a flight of stairs isn't easy it's gotten to the point that I don't even stay to dry anymore b/c I really don't feel like spending 2 or 3 hours in a laundromat especially on a sunday when it's crowded so I dropped off my towels sheets etc. in drop off service one less thing for me to do. Yesterday I went to myrtle avenue as I usually do with jr on the weekends to take him for lunch and it seems like there's always some drama going on at this mcdonald's either it's very crowded the line for bathroom is too long and they're always out of something yesterday a women comes in with a fake $20 bill and is furious b/c they won't give her money back and accused the cashier of trying to pocket it @@ what would she want with a fake $20 I'd take it back to the bank or check cashing place but once you give to a merchant or store they confiscate it. After eating I went to deal$ with my son to pick up a few things I should own stock in the company I go there so much. After the store we walked back toward the neighborhood and I let my son run around and play in the park while I sit and relax but my eyes are always looking to see what he's up to and sadly b/c he's on the autism spectrum there are many people who don't understand and aren't very nice to him and that gets me very angry at times. He likes to play with kids but sometimes kids don't want to play with him and he doesn't understand. Yesterday I saw this kid push my son and I felt like getting up and slamming him right into the monkey bars yes I know it's an extreme reaction but I'm very overprotective of my son b/c of his condition. I didn't of course but I yelled across the park " Don't even think about pushing him". Which makes me think where are the parents of these children? They come to the park and they're not even paying attention to what their kids are doing. I would never allow my son to push another child not only b/c it's wrong but b/c I don't want to get into any confrontations with other parents who'd be understandbly upset. I then told him it's time to go home time is up as I usually set my cell phone alarm to alert him it's time to go home. I think he needed to get away from that situation and I had dinner and laundry waiting to be hanged up. I came home relaxed a little read my cook book to get more ideas for the weekly dinner and eventually I started cooking dinner. I made steak and onions and it came out pretty good I just should've done it over night it usually tastes better as it marinates longer it takes a few tries to really perfect a recipe at times. On thursday I reapplied for rental assistance once again bad is when you already know the routine at these places hoping that I will be approved this time. I thought I'd be there all day but I wasn't there that long and I was able to work a half day. After we ate I sure didn't feel like doing the dishes so there they stayed I'll get to them today. I've gotten to the point where I've cut back I don't mop my entire apartment in one day like I used to I mop every other week only thing I do weekly is clean kitchen bathrooms mop them change sheets and laundry. I gave jr his bath put him to bed and made sure he stood sleeping in his bed and he actually did I'm really trying to ween him off staying in my bed and many a time I've had to carry him to bed and he's heavy 41 lbs to be exact. I winded up falling asleep on the couch and forgot to see my alarm so we rushed out the house and missed the first bus. I also missed my connecting bus but it's monday and I wasn't going to stress myself out got my morning coffee which I desperately needed hazenut dunkin donuts to get myself awake and going. I still managed to make it to work on time today is the pot luck at work and I'm not even participating with everything I had to do I forgot so i guess there's always next yr or another occassion. After giving it some thought I decided to end contact with the guy I was talking to for a while from out of state I just got tired of always being the one to initiate contact. It's sad b/c I really liked him and I really thought we could've had something good but I'm not going to be chasing anyone. I understood he had been sick but everytime I've called I get a busy signal or I'm sent to voicemail. Two times I've been on fb chat and he's signed off when I IM him so that was the last straw for me, that's just plain rude so I'm done. If I ever do hear from him I will just say hello but I doubt it. This is why I don't think I can do the long distance thing b/c I admit I can be an attention whore and can be jealous not to the extent of fatal attraction but I acknoweledge my traits so this wouldn't work for me. I decided to reopen my zoosk account after months of it being closed but it's simply just to look and browse only right now I'm just focusing on jr myself and my move which by the looks of things I've still been looking for a place in NY here in the same area or another but still nothing under 1300-1400 a month which I think is high way robbery b/c some of these apartments are in desperate need of renovation and modernization so moving to New Jersey is still an option. Well it's monday another work week begins but at least it's pay week I will treat myself this week to a much needed pedicure and trim on my hair.