Avonte Oquendo Case

I'm a parent of a child with autism spectrum disorder while my child is high functioning and verbal he can have the tendency to wander off at times if he's distracted by something he likes. He is a regular school in an ICT class (integrated co teaching) which is a mixed class of general education and special education. When I read about Avonte it broke my heart and it infuriated me as a parent of a child with autism spectrum disorder that the Board of Education could be so incompetent and negligent. This is a child who autistic non-verbal and has a reputation to be a runner and wander off is all the reason he should be watched carefully, due to the fact that children with autism do not like a lot of commotion, yelling, screaming, or to be held and touched too much. This child was in a District 75 Special Education School in Queens and it was integrated which makes me question how effective integrating mainstream kids and special needs is. A child like Avonte should have never been separated from his aide and supervised at all times. When our chancellor was questioned about this case he was very evasive about it Why? because he himself knows that Board of Education failed. They failed to protect this child, the aide failed in abandoning him, the security guards, failed to restrain him, and failed this family. Our police commissioner doesn't even consider his missing over 10 days a priority which infuriates me as a parent b/c I'm surprised that an amber alert hasn't been issued for Avonte from the very beginning and now since it's been over three weeks and he hasn't been found yet he says the chances that he's alive aren't very high which I'm hoping as a parent that he didn't suffer a bad fate but I have to wonder why wasn't an amber alert issued if they do it for missing children and missing seniors why not someone who is autistic and non-verbal? At this point I feel if they NYPD hasn't been successful they should involve the FBI I can't help but think even though I don't want to pull the race card if this child was white autistic and missing the efforts would be a lot stronger to find him. This case shows how incompetent, under qualified and how bureaucracies fail in providing our children with the services they need in order to get a proper education. Staff who works for this school should be properly trained to deal with autistic students who sometimes are non-verbal or don't like to be touched or approached aggressively. I'm also surprised that there are people who are judging this family for filing a law suit against the Board of Ed excuse me but if it weren't for their neglience, this family would still have their son. I know people can go over board with filing frivilous lawsuits but in this case it's warranted they must be held accountable for their gross neglience in failure to keep this child safe and in doors. The only thing this mother did was send her child to school and rely on a bureaucracy like the Board of Ed to educate her son and provide a safe environment for him. Everyone involved should be fired and while that may seem harsh and even unfair to some people but when you're hired to do a job you do it and you do it right. Children are precious to their families and if you can't understand that you shouldn't be working in the school system. I'm keeping this family in my thoughts and hoping he is found.

The Modern Latina

October is hispanic heritage month and while I can post something about food culture etc. I decided to go a different route. The modern latina tries to juggle tradition and culture with the american way of life sometimes disappointing relatives and others. I am a modern latina born here in NYC of pr descent and I am single mother of a child with autism a disorder that is not very well understood by the hispanic community or society overall but especially latinos why is this because I think it's due to ignorance lack of available outreach to families and people who refuse to see reality. Most people who would see my son would think he's a brat but he's a child on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum. My child has had many people stare at him thinking this and many other things and it's been a tough road he was past 2 not speaking well I'm a very proactive person who doesn't believe in making excuses or hiding behind denial I got him tested and evaluated and by the end of early intervention we had a diagnosis and a name. Me and his father were determined to help our son succeed at all costs and because of our drive determination to fight the system our child has come a long way and will continue to flourish and reach his full potential because I as his mother will not settle for anything less. I didn't drown myself in self-pity, denial, or think a chancleta, or some other antiquated notion was going to fix my child I took action by being open minded and thinking outside of the box. We all have to think outside of the box sometimes because life isn't always black and white there are many areas of gray too. Eventually me and his father parted ways but that doesn't affect our sense of family it just makes it our own unique situation. These days many people aren't staying married anymore or getting married at all why b/c these days people know they have options out there and don't have to stay in bad situations. Society has changed a lot and we also have to change with society and the times because if we as a community cannot keep up with the changing times, society, and culture how are we supposed to advance and help our youth advance? Working for the City and health department I see how this type of attitude hurts our community thousands of referrals for early intervention rejected by parents who are too ignorant too see how this type of evaluation can help their child succeed that if there's a learning disability or anything it can be addressed at an early age before school begins so that the child can either get the help he/she needs and not slip through the cracks of the public school system like many children do but then in the same breath they can complain about how the system sucks and does nothing to help. We tend to be master deniers ignoring problems thinking that they will go away when they just get worse without action taken. As a modern latina I have a full time job I work 35 hours per week I hate housework and laundry and only do these things because they have to get done. I don't cook everyday if I feel like it I do if not I won't and I don't have an ounce of guilt about it why b/c I work very hard and I'm human and I'm entitled to feel tired and take a break as long my son has something to eat. As a modern latina I was born in NYC and I speak ok spanish not rosetta stone but enough to get by and know if someone is talking smack about me and read and write some as well. Will my child speak it probably not although he does understand a lot of it. Am I worried about what others will think not in the least as it's not their job to assess how "latino/a" I am or anyone else is. I can cook basic dishes puerto rican style beans and rice by following mostly cook books and you tube videos. I can't makes pasteles nor do I even like to eat them. If I needed some I'd probably find someone here locally who is very talented at making them and makes a good amount for a fair price or send money to my grandfather to make some. I embrace my curly hair and I'm not stuck in a salon spending money every week getting it relaxed or blown out I don't have the time money or the patience for it. I don't like the gossip, the stupidity, and most of all the burnt neck ears and time spent there. I also don't like the salon attitudes either. The same blow out that takes 3 hours in a neighborhood salon took me 30 minutes next to my job performed by latina nonetheless who also confesses to me that a lot of time is wasted at the salon and it's usually due to gossip, etc. I also see that hairdressers can be very catty and pick and choose who to work on, ok you must have it good financially if you can afford to be picky but whatever you're not getting my hard earned money lol. I've learned not to expect too much because when we do we are usually disappointed. Another powerful word latinas must learn is NO: No is a very hard word to say to people especially family and friends but NO is neccessary as without we tend to overextend ourselves financially, with events, whatever it is if you're busy, tired, or just don't want to be bothered SAY NO. People may be disappointed but you are advocating for yourself as a person that you cannot and will not take on more than you need to or should. Try it NO is an extremely liberating word If people don't like it that's too bad. WE are women not super heroes or martyrs it's when we try to live up to this that we drive ourselves crazy. Traditions while nice aren't always able to be adapted in today's lifestyle especially in a two parent two income household where both people have to work to keep things afloat. We must be open to change: Change the way we see the world, we must raise our kids to be independent self sufficient and emotionally mature so when they're adults they're prepared to be out there in that world. Not coddle them, teach them that a woman is obligated to pick up after them or be their personal slave or chef or keep them near because of our own insecurities unfulfilled dreams and scared that they may become too independent and not need us. Teach our women and girls to be financially independent, emotionally independent, self respect, have a high self esteem, zero tolerance for machismo, or any other type of negativity that keeps them from being the best they can be. This is the best gift we can give our daughters so they can make it out their in the world. It may not be traditional way of going about things, but in the long run we as a community will be better off for it. As they say knowlege is power, so is indpendence emotional and financial. The modern latina especially this one knows when to say NO when to take a break and have a few good take out menus from spanish restaurants for those days we don't want to be in the kitchen. Drop off laundry service is a blessing and online food shopping another. I've used all of these services to keep my sanity and make things a little easier an extra pair of hands is a blessing but I usually dont have that so I learned to use these things to keep me from going insane. Do what works for YOU and your life.

Chanting fast-food workers protest in Manhattan - New York News

Chanting fast-food workers protest in Manhattan - New York News

I'm all for providing equal rights, equal opportunity, safe working conditions and reasonable wage but these protestors must be clear out of their minds if they think they're getting $15 an hour for working in a fast food joint.  Do you know what impact that would have on the food industry and our wallets? A Big Mac Value menu costs almost $7 here in Manhattan can you imagine paying 10-12 dollars for this b/c they want to be paid $15 an hour. I think their demands are ridiculous and I doubt they will get anywhere with this.  There are people making $15 an hour right now that are struggling to get by living in this city who work in offices, hospitals, every other industry how is someone working in a fast food industry automatically entitled to this amount of pay I understand yes it's a lot of work and hard work at that to keep things running but at the end of the day it is your choice to be employed there too.   I think for the most part most jobs salaries have to do with the difficulty of the job and the skills required to perform the job and pretty much anyone can fill out an application and be trained to work a register, work the line preparing the food, or do housekeeping work and I understand it's hard to get by these days but at the end of the day these people don't realize that they are not the only ones out there struggling and if they insist on being paid $15 an hour they will be out of a job because no one will go to these fast food joints to buy any food there b/c I will be twice the amount of money the meals are now and for that you must as well go to applebees fridays or any other high end restaurant to sit down get a better prepared mail if you're going to pay more $10+ for it.  The only way they're going to see any increase in their salary is if the minimum wage goes up again right now it's 7.25 an hour do I think it's ridiculous yes absolutely I think these rates should reflect the cost of living not only for the time period but for the AREA YOU LIVE IN. NYC, PA, CHICAGO, CA, and any place with metropolitan cities where the cost of living is higher should have higher minimum wage laws in my opinion but this only exists in a perfect world.  I will give them an A for effort and speaking their mind but unless the federal gov't acts I doubt this would happen or the food chain corporations as well.

NYC Democrats square off in final mayoral debate - New York News

NYC Democrats square off in final mayoral debate - New York News

As a voter living here in NYC I'm not happy with the selection of candidates we have running for mayor sadly.  What I know is Bloomberg NEEDS to go already I'm sick of him his bureaucratic nonsense the way he strong armed himself an extra term in office by changing the law to suit his agenda and as a Hispanic sick of the way this man massacres the Spanish language please shut up and get an interpreter or let someone from channel 41 translate or even better if you really want to learn Spanish get Rosetta stone or hire a teacher but please shut up until you can at least sound normal.  The mayoral candidates are also full of scandal first one being disgraced former governor Spitzer how can this man even show his face again in the political scene after what he did during his term as governor?  He lied, did illegal things, and shows he cannot be trusted and definitely not running as comptroller when that position has to do with managing city monies and sadly humiliated his wife and family she was longer over due in giving him the boot.  Weiner would've been a good mayor if he wasn't such a pervert and had some self-control and respect for his wife and their marriage and that alone is disgusting to me how can you lead the City of New York if you can't even keep it in your pants and don't have your own personal life in order this guy needs to disappear and forget about running for office. Bill Thompson is not convincing to me seems too laid back for the job. Christine Quinn is a female version of Bloomberg as she's his right hand now. Liu while has some good things also has been in the media with scandal.  DeBlasio don't know much about him but as a voter I don't see anything good coming out of the mayoral election except one thing being rid of Bloomberg.  I think a lot of these politicians are full of baloney they make a lot of promises but once they're in office nothing is done.  NYC needs affordable housing and not having to go through so much red tape and bureaucracy to get it,  after care programs for working parents, affordable mass transportation the raise the MTA has imposed has done nothing to improve service or ridership so we pay more to get less in my opinion.  City Workers need a revised contract as we haven't had one since 2009 and everything seems to be going up but our paychecks to reflect the cost of living that is increasing nonstop.  Our mayor is a known union buster and our unions need to stop giving back and put their foot down we run the city and if it weren't for us they'd be in trouble.  Bloomberg has tried to run this city as he runs his corporation and that simply doesn't work when you're running a city.  Our children deserve a good quality education not overcrowded schools, underpaid and underqualified teachers, a school system that bases children's educational progress based on some stupid standardized test scores this and social promotion is what setting up our children for failure.  If a child is not at grade level they shouldn't be promoted period why should a child be promoted for meeting minimum standards what type of message are we sending our kids?  Not parents having to supply all of the supplies so that the schools and Board of Ed shell out less money yes that's the reason for these ridiculously long supply lists.  It's sickening and there's no accountability.  Not everyone is a test taker some people are and can pass some just fail out of nerves and stress. Knowing the material taught in the classroom reading and math levels should be the criteria for promoting children not a standardized test if that were the case I would've been left back years ago as I stink in math I think what saved me was passing the reading test.  So if we can find a mayor to properly address all of these concerns I'm on board but frankly to me I'm just not convinced and that goes for both sides democrat and forget about republican candidates as I don't even bother to listen to their rhetoric.   If we had someone who had real solutions to this city's problems I wouldn't even care what politicial side they're on but I'm just not convinced at this point and when you have all of this scandal and corruption surrounding NYC politics overall it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  I'm not even sure I will go to the polls and vote this time around but we will see. 

Police: Baby dies after dad forgets him in car - New York News

Police: Baby dies after dad forgets him in car - New York News

I read this in sadness and anger b/c I have to wonder how many more children have to die b/c of the stupidity of parents like this?  I guess I can't have an impartial or flexible opinion on this issue as I am a parent myself but last time I checked your kids are your # 1 priority their safety their health and well being and quite frankly there is nothing that important that you can leave any child unattended in a car and than you leave this child in a car that has no air conditioning for what to save on gas? Take the child with you or wait till you can leave the child with a sitter or mother.  I think people these days have their priorities in the wrong place these days and some quite frankly have no business having children in the first place they don't have the emotional maturity, financial resources, patience, etc.  I have to wonder what the heck did this guy have on his mind that he "forgot" the child.  There's only one time I can remember this happening was when I was at Walmart in Long Island shopping and we heard an announcement over the PA system saying that there was a child left behind in the store and I got scared and wondered perhaps they had done it on purpose and thought of safe haven laws for unwanted children but it turns out that the parents went home and forgot the child and it was a very small infant they locked down the store as we were leaving we saw the police coming in to the store.  I don't think they made any arrests but I'm sure they let the parents have it once they made it back to the store I'm also sure that they'd be monitored by the child services too.   The message is loud and clear Parents your kids are your #1 priority and everything else is secondary when it comes to your child.  It's a shame that this story will be one of thousands already heard and hoping it will be the last even thought that's kind of unrealistic.

Man sought in alleged Brooklyn forcible touching incident | Metro.us Metro.us

Man sought in alleged Brooklyn forcible touching incident | Metro.us Metro.us

Ladies, how many times have you been on your way to work or where ever destination you're headed to and you come across some pervert getting a little too close to you they take advantage of this especially in very crowded trains on rush hour to find someone trying to either grope you or any other female or rub themselves on you. As a woman I think it's so disgusting, disrespectful and an invasion of our personal space.  This is why I avoid crowded trains and buses overall but these incidents usually take place more on subways.  I always try to be very aware of my surroundings and will be quick to say something if need be.   When I was younger I was the victim of this stupidity.  I was riding on the train to school wearing a skirt tights and shoes and the train was crowded and this guy had the nerve to inapproriately touch grab and feel my behind.  It was embarrassing and infuriating to me as I felt so violated and back in the late 90's cell phones weren't as affordable and accessible as now or have the advanced camera features but I got my revenge when it was time to get off I gave him a good hard kick in the shin and quickly left.  I think this has always been an issue on mass transit as there's been perverts since the beginning of time lol but with today's advanced technology catching them in the act is easier.  I'm glad the victim got to snap a picture of him and I hope the police do catch up with him b/c no one should have to be touched inappropriately and I can bet she's not his first victim but it's her quick thinking that put his face out there and will hopefully get him caught by the police.   Ladies stay safe, stay vigilant, feel free to elbow or kick in the shin if neccessary and let them know you will NOT stand to be disrespected. 

Urban fashion disasters

Living in a city like NYC you see a lot of different people different styles and you also see some of the worst things that make you wonder did this person look in the mirror before they left? or did they get dressed in the dark? #1 Spandex is not for everyone unless you have a body like a run way model proceed with caution 2# Just b/c it comes your size doesn't mean you have any business wearing it. 3# The latest trend seems to be showing your cutesy neon colored bras, zebra, etc. do us all a favor and wear proper colored underwear there's a reason it's supposed to under your clothes 4# if you're not skinny don't wear skinny jeans 5# Don't wear sandals if your feet have to be sand blasted by a pumice stone or haven't visited a nail salon in a long time 6# Underwear is a requirement NOT optional. You'd be surprised on how many people have violated this rule 7# Sheer fabrics on dresses or pants have no place in the office environment if you must wear a slip 8# Men who sag their pants GROW UP You are way beyond JHS and HS days. Buy yourself a belt your underwear belong inside your pants and look like a grown up. 9# Spanx can only fix so much 10# Pants ladies wear pants in YOUR size if it's tight it's not right (is a myth and a lie) we don't need to see every curve bump clump or outline of intimate areas. Camel toe violations are a big NO NO. When in doubt go to the next size. Black is your best friend to camflouage ALL. 11# V.P.L. (the visible panty line) there's really no excuse for this these days are there are plenty of options out there seamless underwear being one of them white pants= nude panties, etc. 12# Low cut blouses have no place in the office and in certain social occassions like church setting and your child's school trips save your daisy dukes, tube tops, and other things for your private occasions. Your child still has to see these people or your spouse still has to face their co workers. 13# Bras wear your right size if your cups runneth over proceed to the next cup size and if you're a C cup and larger this is a requirement not optional 14# Personal hygiene is very important spare your fellow commuters co workers etc. please shower everyday, deodorant, scope, and soap are your best friends no one wants or needs to smell this during the morning or on the way home 15# Men don't dress like you just rolled out of bed, ratty shoes and sneakers are a no no. 16# Dress and ACT your age. Stop trying to be down with the young people if you graduated HS more than 10 yrs ago I've seen women and men who do this and it's not cute. 17# White does not go with everything I don't care what ppl say 18# A tootbrush scope and tooth paste should be a part of everyone's daily routine 19# Your disposition and the way you dress and carry yourself says a lot about you. 20# Maternity: If you're pregnant use your commonsense there is a thing called maternity clothes, this is not the time to wear a string bikini at the beach and think you look cute you look like a moron 21# If gravity has taken over DON'T WEAR A BIKINI OR SPEEDOS AT ALL 22# TRIANGLE BIKINI TOPS ARE NOT FOR PPL ABOVE A C CUP 23# Ladies a shaver and some shaving cream are your best friends, nothing more nasty than a woman who doesn't shave under her arms or legs or wax her upper lip. 24# Don't squeeze into shoes, please buy your right size 25# Perfume and Cologne are great just don't put the whole bottle on 26# Natural hair doesn't mean DIRTY 27# Men white t-shirts are supposed to be WHITE faded dingy yellow underarms are for the TRASH. Bleach can be purchased in 99 cts store. 28# Men odor eaters please put them in your sneakers.