stress induced weekend

Friday ended with a brief mtg being called to talk about the additional layoffs 10,000 more that our mayor that I have a few choice words for wants to do and we were told that some of us may receive "at risk" letters well I ride home with my co worker and we talked about this and other things I got off at my stop and we pick up our laundry and jr.  After this there was major traffic on the avenue I just couldn't figure out why we eventually get home and I ordered a pizza and when he brings me the mail I see a letter addressed to me from the city of NY and there it was an at risk letter now I really felt like someone punched me in the stomach b/c I was spared previous lay offs and I figured b/c my status changed to permanent it wouldn't happen to me but the city is in bad shape so no one is immune from lay offs I guess.  The letters says this is not a lay off notice but then proceeds to explain all the city regulations etc etc.  We were told if we received a second letter more likely than not we'd be laid off.  This is very stressful to live with that type of uncertainty who wants to be kept wondering?  I think about a lot of things how we will make it? How long will I be out of work? Would I be recalled if the city got in better shape or if not would I be able to find another job with decent pay or should I go back to school?  I'm told not to worry about this b/c I have no control over it and while they're right I don't but it's the suspense that kills you.  So I've decided to start cleaning out my desk and sprucing up my resume.  I'm going to start shredding and getting rid of things.  I have a ton of crap in one of my drawers that needs to be cleaned out so when and if the time comes I have nothing of importance and I can just turn in the key and go.  Before being told all of thisI had paid bills online and due to some error on time warner's page I was double charged and I tried to call customer service which was a freaking joke I was told I had to wait up to 4 wks for a refund I finally decide to go to queens ctr to their customer center to try and make some sense of this and my information was taken and I notice this person's supervisor was telling her what to say to me and I heard him saying that I couldn't get my money back I could feel my face getting hot but she took my information and later last night I was told I had to contact the bank which I promptly did and filed a claim for stop payment explained situation and funds were put back but I was told it could still be taken out and if it did bank would have to reverse it again.  What a freaking hassle this is the kind of crap that makes me want to start paying with money orders again the old fashioned way lol.! but in this day and age who the heck has the time to take the bus all the way over the to pay in person I sure don't lol.  Yesterday I gave jr his breakfast and I proceeded to clean up dishes and eventually clean the bathroom and I smell something worse than rotten eggs so bad I dry heaved.  I come to the livingroom and I see something liquid on his highchair and he had the runs and it came out on the chair.  I tried to compose myself take him out cut the diaper off and give him a bath and I sprayed bleach on chair twice.  Ah the joys of parenthood.  After time warner it was off to walmart to pick up a few things by the time I get home I was exhausted.  Today I sleep till 7 which is late for me do the usual breakfast for us and dishes, and I get the only headache and eventually my stomach I think it's just stress I go to my room to rest and TV isn't working finally it works watched syfy and fell asleep for 1 hr 30 mins just when rest was getting good he barges into room asking me to watch him b/c he wants to shower I could feel my stomach rumble again I felt like giving him a knuckle sandwich.  I eventually make the excuse of buying a metro card to get a break and some fresh air.  I come back and company arrives we eat a few things and I'm subjected to watching the superbowl which I only like to watch half time show and the commercials hooray for pepsi being the official drink. I liked Usher and the Black Eye Peas but I think the microphones weren't working right and they oversang a little but it was good.  Now another Monday starts a new work week.  I need some serious "me" time to rest and hang out with adults for a change and watch something on tv other than sponge bob nick jr, etc. lol.  Jr is using a lot more words now which shows the therapy is helping him.  Yesterday he said wheels socks and cookie of course.  It's now after 10 pm and I should be in bed but I'm going to start winding it down or I won't get up tomorrow Mondays are not my favorite day and I'm usually in major slow mode and almost always late.  Tomorrow I will bring in the letter I got and inform them I received one, we'll see where this goes.  Uncertainty isn't a good thing i'd rather have someone tell me right then and there and I'll deal with it.  Well enough of the superbowl I'm ready to crash for the night.