one month over another begins

It's a sunny Friday morning and I can't believe it's already the end of April.  Seems like time is flying by so fast seems like just yesterday it was Apr 1 but I'm glad for one thing that most of the cold weather is gone and we can start wearing lighter clothing.  Spring weather is the best b/c it's not too hot and not too cold Summer is hot and if you have no a/c forget about it.  I'm still on the search for a spring jacket but it seems like I see everything on line but nothing in the stores.  Sometimes I will order off line and I can't wait for something to come but a jacket isn't one of those things.  I saw some shoes I liked at Easy Spirit and yes you may think old lady shoes but their shoes have evolved and changed a lot I need supportive shoes b/c of my bad ankle that I injured twice and you really do need supportive shoes to walk all of these city blocks for your feet not to bother you so much.  I really want to change my style and dress a little bit more casual most of the time I wear jeans t shirt and my coat now hoody b/c it's warmer.  I'm definitely not high maitenance at all I don't care much about labels or current styles I go by if I like something can be in style and you don't have to necessarily like it or the style may not be right for you, your body type, etc.  Since I'm about to engage on a exercise and health crusade I really don't want to buy too many things b/c I don't know how much or fast I will lose some weight and who wants to be stuck with a whole bunch of clothes you will not use.   I briefly looked at the weight watcher point system online and it seems like it's easy to follow if I can have a body like Jennifer Hudson or any other celebrity endorser I will try following it not religiously but I will do a trial run when and if they put the stuff on sale at the supermarket.  Another thing I'd like to invest in my own exercise weights, while they have some at the gym there's nothing like having your own and you don't have to worry about not having any b/c all of them are taken if you arrive late for a class.  Another thing I will give up this coming month is soda as I've said my previous posting.  It's going to be so hard b/c I love Pepsi but soda is really not good for you and is packed with calories my mother has challenged me to do this so I will give it up for a month and see if I lose anything.  Gaining weight is easy losing it is hard.  I'm not sure if it's the effects of the bad economy or a strained fiscal budget but Administrative Professionals Day came and went and there was nothing here to honor the employees as there had been in previous years and I thought that was totally unfair b/c we all work hard to keep things going here I know I work very hard but as a group we all keep our unit going and not to make tribute to that is really lame in my opinion.  It is the little people who do the work and the management (the mortal enemy of the work force)  sits on their asses in their leather chairs take the credit for the numbers, etc.   Not even a mention about bringing your kids to work day as was done in the past, even though I don't particuarly favor this thing b/c people tend to act like idiots and forget that they're at work and I think overall people tend to lose their head when their kids are around.  While it's a great thing to show kids it also like everything else has it's drawbacks.  Everyone should get praise for a job well done even in a struggling economy but to hear nothing it makes me feel like what I do or what any of us does means nothing or that we're that replaceable.  I was put in an akward situation to give soemthing to a worker that had stopped speaking with me that I've mentioned on previous blogs and the lines of communication are open but very limited I'm sure that will change eventually maybe not but I've learned a hard lesson keep your mouth shut and while you may think you're trying to put some on or help them not everyone interprets things like this.  While I know I wouldn't have reacted to a comment like that that's me as time passes I wanted to kick my own ass for not knowing better b/c most of the time I do keep my mouth shut but no one is perfect.  Maybe limited is best at work.  Mother's Day my mother's birthday and my grandfather's birthday are all around the corner.  I have no idea of what to get my mother for both occasions and I sure wish I could see her for mother's day but funds and accumulated time are low so I guess I will have to wait for the summer or when I have more time in the bank. *sigh*  It's already in the 90's in Florida I can't say I'm surprised but it's different over there you have central a/c and community pools and parks in abundance.  I look forward to going to soak up the florida sun and get a break from city life but I think this time I want to do some exploring in Orlando we'll see what this summer brings.  I was looking at El Museo Del Barrio in Harlem and I'm so anxious to visit it as it's the only museum dedicated to Puerto Rican and Latino heritage.  I briefly browsed their web site and they have very nice exhibits but I want to get more in touch with my roots b/c many times people are so concentrated on assimilation that they forget who they are in the process.  I was born here in NYC and I only made one trip to PR as a small child that I don't remember b/c I was so little.  My parents never took us back or I never had exposure to my other side of the family which was more traditional and ethnic.  My only connection is to my mother's side of the family and my grandparents who told us about the island and their experiences growing up there and coming to the NYC in the 50's and of course eating the food , etc.  but that's nothing compared to going seeing and exploring things I think in their minds they wanted a better life so they came here for that but they and many other families neglect to instill the importance of culture and roots, "in order to know where you're going in life you have to know where you come from ".   I'm probably the only one of my cousins who actually speaks and understands Spanish.   While I don't sound like the Rosetta Stone which most tutorials to learn Spanish are based on Castilian Spanish of Spain.  So many countries speak Spanish but we do it in our own way so it can get confusing at times b/c there are so many words for one word based on where we come from.  I notice here in NYC we also use a lot of slang terms in Spanish but it isn't proper speaking and it's looked down on especially from people of the older generation.  I remember once a college professor for Spanish who was from Spain saying that our Spanish wasn't good or correct and mind you the majority of the class were native speakers very interesting.  I think we can all learn from each other I know I've picked up some terms along the way not native to pr spanish but that's a part of living here and being exposed to so many different people and I think that's a great thing we have the diversity.   I'm going to make the time to visit El Museo Del Barrio and make that connection and I will take as many pictures as I can and upload them to share.  Well I've got to get back to work I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out today and I'm sooo not looking forward to that what a way to spoil a weekend!  but it's either now or never.!

the importance of health

Yesterday was a typical day for me get up shower get ready get Jr ready deal with the annoyance of the mta and I get to work start my day and when I went to take my bathroom break I saw blood and it concerned me I also felt uncomfortable so I decided to leave wk early and go to the dr to get a physical done as I've kept putting it off b/c I hate dr offices and the long waits and I can't afford to take time off I get there early grab a slice and I'm seen on time got basic exam blood and urine samples and I was also told that I had an enlarged thyroid which scares the shit out of me b/c I know that the thyroid is a very important gland in our bodies and thyroid disease can have very adverse effects so I'm hoping that blood work is negative. I also was told to see gastroenterlogist I filled out my life story and then some and waited what seemed like forever I was finally seen examined and have an appt for a procedure to view the lower intestines/colon I was also told I have to lose weight quite a bit and my blood pressure seemed high but this is a wake up call saying that I have to start taking care of myself its my body way of saying its being neglected. I have bad habits esp eating habits many times I'm so tired last thing I want to do is cook and there's always something to do and the stress is another factor. Even though I hate dr office esp incompetent ones who overbook and don't stick to appt times I have to start having better time mgmt and start eating healthier give up soda any juices I have a sweet tooth another stumbling block of mine I need to get healthy not only for myself but for my child. I decided to join a gym and go to classes I will try twice a week and see how that works out.  I went to the dentist today and I was glad to be in and out of there have to have wisdom teeth extracted so I'm just going to be in a real chipper mood this week *sigh* and have bridges put in plus other work.  Even though I hate dr visits I don't mind them so much if something actually gets accomplished.  He gets called for jury duty and unfortunately gets picked for a case and now expects me to start dinner when I get home I hate the kitchen we have a love/hate relationship.  I cook if I have no other choice or low on funds I'm no martha stewart and cooking also takes inspiration too and I have little inspiration when I get through the door the only thing I'm inspired to do is throw myself on the couch and watch tv and change into my lounge pants and a tshirt.  Today I have to stay late which I dread b/c I'm going to run into the 5:00 rush hope I have an uneventful trip home when I first started here I used to work 9 to 5 and it seemed like the day just drags on and I also hated the crowds so I changed from 8 to 4 much better day goes by pretty fast and I'm home at a reasonable time provided the mta cooperates with it's service.   I was thinking of trying the weight watchers point system but I don't like feeling restricted with what I eat b/c even though they promote those meal plan diets they are also expensive and let's face it pathmark and stop and shop don't always throw them on sale so I've decided to cut back on a lot of crap I ate b/c I have a sweet tooth and I'm a snacker too bad habit especially when I'm working.  I also have a plastic container at home that is divided into 3 sections and I plan to start using that strategy for portion control.   I realize that no this is no longer something I can put off anymore I also notice that everything is centered over food parties, anniversaries, etc.  When you turn on the tv and look at commercials everything is super sized this, those gigantic breakfast plates from dennys or baconator sandwiches I'm like what the heck is wrong with these people all of these foods are a heart attack waiting to happen, I'm no saint I love bacon, eggs, and burgers, etc.  NY style home fries can't find them anywhere else trust me but health is more important to me.   I saw a food grid and technically the meat we're supposed to eat is about the size of your fist take that into consideration with a side of veggies let's say or rice etc. and we're supposed to be full with that I've done it and I do feel full.  Plus I'm also going to have to give the one and only hands down favorite Pepsi while soda is good it's loaded with calories.   Diet Arizona and Diet Snapple and get myself used to drinking water and lots of it.   The only way I'd psyche myself up into drinking water is buying crystal light but our body needs the water to function right.   This is going to be a long journey for me but in the end it is for my own good.  It's not going to be easy as I've got to drop quite a bit of weight and dr says it has to be gradually.  He said my target weight should be 155 then my BMI would be ok but I'd like to weigh 135 if possible.  I've never been rail thin even when I was thin I was 8 or 10  I would be content with a 12 but 10 sounds better and it would make shopping for clothes a lot easier than having to go to looking around every place.   I'm a 16 now and while most ppl wouldn't consider that huge and most latinos and black guys like women with junk in their trunk as they say I showed a picture of myself when I was really thin back in HS/early college days (wish I had that body now :)) and he said he didn't like the way I looked that I looked too "thin" lol.  Well I sure miss looking like that but I bet he'd changed his tune if I ever did slim down like that again.   The start of the journey will begin with food will sign up at the gym so they can stop blowing up my phone finally!!! and I'm sure I will need to brought out on a stretcher the first day but I will get used to it.  

Friday at last

Friday has finally arrived and I'm happy for that there are times that this work run errands etc routine wears me down I have to make time to do everything and there are only so many hours in a day to get things done yesterday I went to the dentist and I didn't even get to see one b/c of the ridiculous overcrowding and overbooking of appointments and if there is anything I hate is my time wasted and dealing with unprofessional incompetent ppl I saw one of the assistants cracking gum as she called a patient and that's a rude and annoying habit so went back to work accomplishing nothing but aggravation. I wasn't too thrilled that I had to stay late especially when there's nothing to do. Jr is making good progress with speech and his session went well yesterday the next phase of the program is pre school based and I hope its a full day b/c honestly that's the setting I prefer him to be in and the cost will be picked up by school district if he qualifies which is a big relief for us. I've been noticing a lot of things I don't like with his current provider too many kids not giving notice to parents when she plans to close and I wish I can say there are plenty of affordable day cares out there but they're not and the violation report from the city is another factor leaving kids unsupervised or not having working batteries in a smoke detector are deal breakers for me. So I cross my fingers and hope he is accepted. I'm going to try to make my other dental visit to the gum specialist I guess I'm a glutton for punishment it will be another quiet day which is a good thing and I will get into the city before 7:30 today which is good hate being late especially on a Friday this coming wknd is Easter and we were planning to go mass and go to the Easter parade but now he seems to be backing out of that idea a let down yes but the weather and trains don't help this. I got into the city early and so I will be out early which is a great thing its a skeleton crew today at the office so it will be a quiet easy day

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another day over

It's after 10 pm and I should be in bed but I'm up it took me forever to reset my facebook and password everything seemed to go haywire once I got the new phone.  This morning when I dropped jr off at daycare she just "drops" it on me that the daycare is closed Friday due to Good Friday and boy did that piss me off b/c of the lack of notice and consideration this woman has for her parents who rely on her services.  She pulled the same bs last year and I noted my displeasure this morning and told her "you need to give me notice" and I frankly don't give a shit if she liked it or didn't especially when you get the bs response she forgot bs some more you're a grown ass woman who figures you got the power to stick to us working parents b/c you want to close that day but guess what not everyone gets that day off I know I don't city doesn't recognize it.  Lucky for her his father is off that day and I won't have to miss work.  Does it take too much time to print up a reminder and give it to your parents or let them know at least 2-3 wks ahead of? I guess it does.  I arrived on time to work and started my day only to have the occassional minor annoyances here and there.  I then speak to the service coordinator about continuation of services process for jr only to be annoyed with the mumbo jumbo coming out of her mouth after a while its redundant annoying and I'm left barely understanding a dam thing and what the hell is wrong with the dept of ed. they think just b/c you have a hispanic last name they send me a brochure in spanish when I clearly speak and read english and when I ask for a new brochure that was too much to ask I was told to refer to early intervention manual are you kidding me? unreal.  I then receive a call from another representative who sounded like a ray of sunshine on the phone I guess it was in reference to the reevaluation.  I don't look forward to this process b/c this can get tedious annoying and with budget cuts they want to give the children the bare minimum in services which is totally unfair to the children but tell that to mayor jerkberg and our new governor who want to take away vital services and balance the budget on the backs of the working class the poor and the expense of our children. Totally ridiculous.  Lunch time rolled around I had a weight watchers pizza and went for a walk as I was coming back I noticed the two idiots laughing and looking at me very sad indeed but these are the type of people I work around. One of them has breath so bad it makes dog poop smell like a rose garden that's not something I'd be proud of I'd actually close my mouth or get some scope before I laughed at anyone and the other one is using some guy for money sad indeed.  When you're at the top of your game in all areas of your life then you can make fun of other people but most people aren't and never will be.  Toward the end of the day I had a major headache and was glad to be out of there and on my way home I was happy to get a seat on the train due to my headache and when I'm about to walk home I get a text that he wants me to pick up jr and I was sooo mad I'm exhausted and that bus sucks I waited there and walked home I started dinner which I quickly threw together something edible I almost called for chinese food but I'm trying to conserve funds so I didn't.  Ate cleared tables jr was extra hyper tonight and I was drained as usual we both were he was in a sad mood and I asked him what was wrong wouldn't tell me and then gets mad when I question his face bk status I'm like wth I asked you before you didn't want to tell me and now you're telling me I should've figured this out earlier and I thought we women were the ones who get accused of this *sigh* jr was extra wound up and took forever to fall asleep and my patience was running out finally he fell asleep but I'm annoyed by the idiots who live the adjacent building who are just as noisy as the idiots below us or even more and guess what I just got my lease renewal form and I wanted to put right through the shredder I want to get out of here so bad.  He says we have to think about it think about what? I can't stand these idiots down stairs dont' want to live in railroad apt no more and the landlord doesn't give a darn about it no matter how many complaints all fall on a deaf ear as long as he gets his rent and you know what we work too darn hard for our money to deal with that nonsense.  Well it's after 10:30 and I need to get some sleep or I will be in ultra slow mode tomorrow I'm not looking forward to the rain on the forecast and I have no ride so I'm hoping it won't be too heavy.  Off to bed to do the same routine all over again. 

another Monday morning

Another weekend gone by and its Monday not my favorite day of the week on my daily ride to work and while I was on the bus I see a lady with her kids and one of them was acting up I know kids can work a nerve with that being said kid was having a tantrum and kid big for that but anyway she was going to leave kid behind in train station and I thought what a stupid bitch I gave her eye contact and she went and got the kid if she would've left would've took pic and called cops this and many others I see on my ride are examples that ANYONE can have a child but very few know how to parent I'm not perfect by far but you have to be pretty stupid to do that with ppl watching you and cell phone cameras anyway that was first pearl of stupidity for the day I drop Jr off at daycare and she tells me she's closed for good Friday no advanced notice I was mad b/c I was already out sick this week and how do you know other parents will have day off? I get sick and tired of dealing with disorganization on their behalf today will be a sunny day which is good train is slow and I hope I'm not late we'll see what this day brings

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ghetto klown lyceum theater

Friday night arrived and after we changed our clothes it was off to the city,  I was hoping we'd make it on time b/c our train was going kind of slow.  Our first stop was BBQ's in times square and the times square area is always crowded with tons of people especially tourists and I have to say that the crowds have turned me off I don't hang out in the city like that anymore so I guess I'm not used to it either way we take the escalator upstairs and the place is packed and I didn't like the set up at all so many tables on top of each other and servers bumping into your chairs we ordered an appetizer of "hennessey wings" name sounded kind of catchy when they arrived they were very big and oversauced.  I guess I'm used to the smaller wings or boneless versions I've eaten at other places, they were good but I don't think I'd order them again when our actual plates arrived there was tons of food I was shocked I ordered ribs and steak and I could only finish half of it the rest went into a doggie bag. Needless to say I don't think we'll come to BBQ's again at least not in times square I can almost bet the one in queens is better. After we were done it was off to the theater and I have to say it wasn't easy trying to find this place and I sure wish Mr. Leguizamo would've picked the closer theater like the Minskoff, etc.  we finally get here and the line  is long I managed to take a picture of the sign outside and theater sign inside and no more photos after that due to the rules I guess they're afraid someone will publish unauthorized photos.  We get in and have our tickets scanned and have to walk up three flights of stairs not something I'm thrilled about due to walking all of those city blocks trying to find this place we finally get to our level and they point us to our seats and give us our play bill programs I realize how high up we are and I start freaking out b/c I'm terrified of heights and I think this theater was also made for midgets b/c the seats are very small and the space was very tight so I just tried to relax and not look down this theater is very old you can see it in the architecture,etc.   A few mins after 8 the show starts and he comes out and I can't believe how young he looks still b/c I know he's in his 40's and not bad looking lol and he starts telling jokes which were hilarious they cover his life growing up in Jackson Heights, Queens with his crazy parents, grandfather, and how his acting career took off, he also looks into the low points of his life like his strained relationship with his father, financial problems, a first marriage ending in divorce, a 30 yr friendship ending where the "friend" tries to get money from him and it ends in them fighting.  He explains how relationships end before you know it and how 30 yrs of friendship ended just like that I can tell he was sad when he spoke of this and while sometimes it multiple things that bring an end to a friendship I can relate to him b/c I've felt that disappointment in that department and it hurts b/c you think you've known this person all these years and know them well truth is you really never know anyone that well and people surprise you with their actions as I was surprised.  He used props and a movie projector during the show and some of the pictures from his past were hilarious like a picture of him with an afro from his HS yr book photo others reminded you of the way the mta trains looked way back when horrible with tons of graffiti on them, but each segment went from the 70's to the current time period and it was a mixed bag of happiness and sad and it made me realize that everyone has problems no matter whether we are famous or not the only difference between celebrities and normal people is that we have that privacy and anonymity that they don't have.  I also see how the strained relationship with his father affected his life I can relate to this too and his family wasn't thrilled about how he used them in his material of previous shows and I think they actually sued him as he showed a legal document on the projector and I thought how low down can you be to do that? I guess the truth hurts and people can't handle it, doesn't mean if it were me I'd go as far as to sue someone over it but I notice this a lot when ppl become famous and come from a humble background ppl become very money hungry and think they're going to leech on to your new found fame and status.  He used his experiences growing up as he refers to it as "cheap therapy" lol and I couldn't agree with him more b/c I also use this blog for the same purpose as I can't afford a high priced psychologist so I use this as an outlet too.  He also talked about how he made his father cry and thought he was finally getting the revenge he was always wanted but that he didn't feel the gratification he thought he would sad isn't it he realized that his own father had a rough upbringing too and how his father was proud of him I guess he was in his own warped way and I can relate in the way of how I found out the same about my own father but I also attribute this to culture too and in the latino culture men have to be macho they can't show emotion or many people male or female don't express emotion or hold all of their issues inside and forget about seeing a therapist they'll look at it as a sign of weakness or that you're a nut None of which are true,  We are human we are not martyrs and everyone needs help sometimes b/c your upbringing makes you who you are good or bad it will affect the path you take in life so why not get the professional help if you feel you need it.  I also feel that people take this as a cop out why would I let my upbringing influence me as a parent? If anything my past would want to me be a better parent to my son than what I got.  I know that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world and sometimes I'm far from perfect and realize that no matter how perfect I try to be at it there are times where I will fall short of the mark b/c I'm also human besides being a parent.  He also talks about his wife and children who are adorable and how his success affected his relationship and I never realized how well succcess is a good thing I can't believe how destructive it can be too.  When the show finished we clapped some people did a standing ovation but I would recommend it to anyone I just hope for his next show he picks a better theater one where the seats are more comfortable and closer access to the bathrooms if you want funny and reality this is the perfect show for you.  Kudos to fellow queens resident John Leguizamo you made us laugh and forget about our problems for a short while and we look forward to seeing any new project be it a movie or any other stand up you do.  After the show we were tired and can you believe I got lost who would think it would happen to me? I realized it right away and walked back toward bway and 6 ave so we can take our train home.  Our train took a while to come as the M is slow like molasses when we get in there's a bunch of people talking and laughing loud and acting like idiots this seems to be a contagious disease on the subway ppl really think you want to hear what they're talking about, what they're blasting on their mp3, give me a break all I wanted to was catch a quick snooze but that didn't happen we were home after 12 jr was asleep and I stood up for a few minutes and after they left I changed into my pjs and fell into bed.  It was a good experience and something we have to do more often I often feel weird when we go out b/c we seldom get time to ourselves like that. 

Friday has arrived

Friday is finally here and I'm on the train waiting for it to move so I can start my am commute. I'm hoping for a smooth ride and minimal annoyances as I always do. I'm sitting at the other end of the train yet I can hear someone's music that's so annoying and defeats the purpose of headphones and they don't realize they're damaging their hearing but anyway I stood home yesterday and I rested all day and I felt better but I never get why time goes by so fast at home but drags on at work before I knew it was 12 today is the show and I'm hoping that we make it back to the city in time to eat and get there on time with no rush I look forward to the show and getting a good laugh b/c I could sure use it well let's hope this ride to work will be uneventful and my work day will be the same

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