a sense of relief

Hump day has arrived and I sure wish the rain would go away already.  Sometimes not even an umbrella helps and the wind can easily destroy it especially if it's a cheap one.  I'm happy to have received my new jacket in the mail rather quickly since I just ordered it on Saturday.  Now I need to find a light windbreaker type jacket.   I realized that the people in the store near where I work weren't being truthful that North Face doesn't make the hyvent jacket larger than XL.  I went online and viewed the jacket I wanted only to see a black jacket for $80.00 in XXL.  If you don't have something in stock okay but don't say they don't make it my size.  However I'm kind of tired of getting my jackets and coats in black I'd like to try something different but I noticed they didn't have any other colors.  I'm thinking of putting the metropolis coat on lay away b/c I do need a new winter coat for the next winter.  I have sorel boots that I hate after I bought them they're too clunky and uncomfortable so I will replace those too when the time comes.  Yesterday I went to the employee assistance and spoke to a social worker and I was under the impression they take regular visitors there but I guess they just refer you to places kind of wish I could've just gone there permanently since I'd be able to do it on my lunch break but it felt good to talk to someone else about everything going on and for someone to be able to understand what I'm feeling and why.  I was there until 3:30 and I felt much better when I left and we left it on that they will be trying to find someone in my area that I can see.  When I mentioned the marriage counseling she asked if I was committed to working on my marriage and explained the different ways therapists go about doing this like some would rather see you separately first then together and I know that when it does happen I'm sure the pandoras box is going to fly open and it's going to get heated and emotional but as I told her yesterday I think he needs to hear it from someone else and another perspective.  I told him I went yesterday and he says he knew he was the main topic of conversation and he was and I told him he was going to counseling.   I'm at a point where I'm not taking no for an answer anymore I'm tired of living like this life is a beautiful thing and we should be enjoying it and living it to the fullest and enjoying our child especially now that he's still a little toddler b/c they grow up so fast I can't believe that he will be 3 yrs old this Fall.  The therapist canceled her session last night at the last minute I'd probably be annoyed about it usually but I wasn't feeling well yesterday and didn't feel like having anyone around so we agreed to reschedule for today.  I have to start calling up the schools we're interested in for jr to get his services he needs and hope that they're willing to give us a tour w/o asking for the evaluation results.  I'd prefer he go to one by metropolitan ave as it's in the area of where we live but if it's not a good place I want to go where he will get the attention and help he needs.  I'm looking forward to the memorial day weekend b/c I could sure use an extra day off.  We were thinking of going to Sesame Place again but so far I don't see any discounts on their tickets so I may just have to suck it up and buy the 2 day ticket I figure he doesn't use one day he can use it in the summer or for the Halloween celebration they do.  I was also looking at Disney World I can't believe how much the tickets have gone up $82.00 for an adult ticket.  I remember paying $45.00 maybe $50.00 but that was back in 2000.  The average family can't afford these places these days unless they get a very good pkg deal and forget about stay on the Disney Resort properties unless they have lower priced ones.  I checked out a place called the Polynesian which is gorgeous and of course it had to be Deluxe accommodations and I bet there is a deluxe price tag to match.  While it would be a great experience most likely we'd have to stay on a property outside of Disney and possibly go to universal and other places we will see what this summer brings us.  I just pray for peace of mind b/c I know I will need it for the coming weeks hopefully this person will be able to find me someone soon.  On another note I still haven't joined the gym yet with all of this going on I sort of lost focus on that.  I noticed I've lost a little weight as my stomach has gone down but I got a ways to go.  I guess my mother was right when she said if I gave up soda you'd see the difference and I do.  While I haven't cut it out entirely I started drinking diet a very acquired taste and drinking juices and water lots of water.  Once I started going to the gym I hope to see more of a change.  I'm sure I will hurt all over the first few times.  I'd like shopping to be fun again not having to go to specialty stores b/c some stores only go up to a certain size.  Well time to begin my work I actually should've began it an hr and thirty mins ago.