WTF Wednesday

Today is hump day and the title to my blog is exactly how I feel today I didn't get a very good start to my day for one I overslept and my cell alarm never went off even though I have it set to go off even when phone is on silent so I wake up half asleep to scramble to start getting ready and that's a real messed up feeling b/c when we rush we forget things. I managed to get jr up who has no concept of time at all and asks for things he can't have or wants to play or do things that can't be done at that moment. After I'm semi-awake I get dressed pack up my lunch and yogurts waters in tow and get ready for the walk to the bus. Someone must really have it in for me at the MTA LOL they must be tired of hearing from me I wait for yet another 39 bus only for it to be ridiculously crowded again with the school rush and the idiots who act like they don't see me or jr I managed to yet again hold a 30+ lb toddler on a short ride until my shoulders and arms gave up on me and boy were they sore I just held his hand on b/c there wasn't even a pole to hold on to until it was our stop to get off only to plough through the front entrance and walk to the sitter. After he's dropped off I realized I even missed my late bus which is the 7:13 I went to grab some breakfast at dunkin donuts to save myself the trip once I eventually got to the city. It seems like no one has a concept of time when we run late. I keep looking outside paranoid I'd miss the next bus. I got it and crowded yet again. So I broke my #1 rule and pet peeve don't eat on the train but I was starving and it wasn't smelly food so I guess it's ok. I get to work and there's work to do but I'm physically here but my mind is somewhere else. Yesterday I went to the gym and saw my favorite instructor we sang happy bday to him and we had a great class I notice before class started everyone comments about he's one of the best instructors for zumba which is why that class is always packed. I managed to get some work done today but it's not even close to what I normally do I'm just not feeling it today and now that I have to stay an extra 20 minutes time is going to drag by. Today is counseling for us and a part of me doesn't even want to go and I hope it will end on a more positive note even though most of the things addressed are far from positive. It gets easier to talk about things as time goes on but it doesn't make the healing process any easier. I know we're going to talk about the legal things again today and he doesn't realize that these decisions aren't easy but as my therapist says he's already made the decision for you by leaving the marriage but no one realizes the consequences especially financial of these decisions and I sort of feel like he's trying to play on my sympathies b/c he's realizing it. I will try to go in with an open mind and see where this session goes today. I will hope that the trains will be running smoothly today so I won't be too late coming home. I've already set my cell phone alarm to ring off like a bull horn so I won't be late again and it wont a WTF thursday.