pressure is not a good thing

I felt so tired and bored yesterday and last night's zumba class was pretty good we did some brazilian music and routines which were new and the music sounds pretty nice even though I can't understand a word of it but you don't have to I guess just the beat can be good. It was the instructor's birthday and we all signed a card and some of the other ladies were nice enough to get her a cake and balloons and took a collection which was a very nice gesture. I left the class early b/c I didn't want to be late to the office and I made with enough time but last night's session was anything but positive sadly. I expressed the stress I've been feeling with scheduling conflicts of these therapists and how this "coordinator" is full of it and all of these people in early intervention, etc. I called this person today expressing my difficulties with scheduling only to be told that my schedule requirements are unrealistic but what these people don't get is that I'm a working parent and unless they're going to pay me to stay home they're requirements are feasible either. They don't get that not everyone can afford to stay home or live off the system and have their rent paid by section 8 so excuse me for being a single parent and having to bust my a** working. Last night he really got me pissed off talking about how I forgot about a letter like I don't have enough shit on my mind and when I get it he tells me he no longer needs it needs another plus dr report and throws a hissy fit when it was time for me to get out of the car. I felt like punching him in the face he had me so annoyed. He thinks I can just wave a magic wand and make things happen I can't control when and if someone calls back and how fast they're going to do things. Funny thing is he hasn't mentioned a thing about the divorce I guess reality has set in that things aren't as cut and dry as he thinks and plus the expense of the whole process which I stand firm he will be paying for even he had to pawn his balls b/c this is not something I wanted. He mentions an incident where I got pissed off last week b/c he was flirting with the cashier at the drive through and has the nerve to tell me it's no longer my concern I was like gtfo as long as you're still legally married to me and you haven't signed on that dotted line it sure is I felt it was a total lack of respect b/c I guess its easier for you to move on when you don't feel anything for that person any more and don't see how someone does and it's not a switch that I can turn on and off I sure wish it was that simple. He says maybe I should talk to someone it would help me move on faster yeah go *** yourself I'm not someone who just lets people in that easy especially a man, he'd have to be a pretty special guy who has his shit together, a good job, caring, respects the fact that I have a son, etc. Tomorrow is the CPSE mtg and I can't help but feel nervous b/c I'm hoping the outcome is good and we get a school placement b/c I really don't want him receiving any services at home no more, I'm tired of the scheduling conflicts and all of the bs with this early intervention agency and I know with CPSE and CSE it doesn't get any easier but at least he will be in a school setting and the providers come to the school so that's a big load off my shoulders but the next catch is the program is most likely 5 hours and I work 7 hrs. so the fun continues and I may still have to pay for babysitting so I'm hoping that my mother can get down here by November so I won't have to anymore b/c that's another financial stressor I will no longer have. So far things are going ok at the rehab center for him and he's talking to a therapist so I'm positive that things will start to look up for him and I will continue to keep him in my thoughts that they will. I'm trying to relax and take a deep breath and chill but it's very hard with everything going on hoping for the best outcome but preparing to deal with what comes. I will have another free day this weekend which is good b/c I can use some time to relax chill and catch up on some rest. Off to lunch time work out so I can distract my mind even if it's just for a little while.