sometimes you just can't win

This weekend wasn't restful for me at all and many usually aren't.  Jr drove me crazy all weekend and yesterday he pushed us to the limit and I finally had enough I told his father he's all yours.  He was taken yesterday to get his hair cut and I went to my room and laid down but by the time I get to do that I can't even fall asleep *sigh* so I just spend some time in bed talking on the phone quiet time to say the least.  My stomach was also acting up as it usually does when I'm stressed out.  I started to feel hungry and I needed a metro card since due to city incompetence I still haven't received my commuter card yet.  I took this as an excuse to take a walk and get some air.  I got a 7 day unltd metro card hoping that this card will be in the mail soon or they will reimburse me for every penny I spend out of my pocket.  This is the biggest mistake they made converting to wage works, the City should've kept the transit benefit program as it is, as the saying goes if it's not broke don't fix it .  Many people are having issues with the cards at the vending machines getting error messages, it's ridiculous and to top it off the MTA service stinks and we're paying more to get LESS in with trains behind schedule, stations in horrible disrepair, dirty and unsanitary and it's going to get worse as they try to bleed us dry again for another fare hike whenever that is, hopefully I will be gone by the time that happens.  I get a simple soup and egg roll from the chinese restaurant come home to eat it and try to relax jr doesn't make that possible.  Dinner is done he gets home and as we're eating jr decides to dump his food all over the place *sigh*  the worst was when he spilled the juice and fell on the sofa I finally had enough gave him a spanking.  I try to use spanking as a last resort but sometimes kids just really get you to that point.  One positive to this weekend was that idiots weren't blasting their music which made me breathe a sigh of relief but there's always next weekend or during the week.  We're still in limbo we're going to be paid or not I'm sick of this mayor i'm telling you we can't submit our time sheets until this is resolved if he's smart he will concede if he's looking for a fight he will get one!!! I have every intention to writing to metro ny amny etc. and letting them know what a greedy incompetent jerk he is.  Today was another wonderful start to my Monday morning which let me say this I hate mondays always have,  I got up got ready when it was time for me to get jr up and dressed another battle royale again, by the time I finally get to the bus stop after having to walk the obstacle course due to the horrible clean up efforts of our wonderful sanitation department I winded up missing my first bus the Q39  then I drop him off and boom miss the Q54 which comes before the schedule posted at the bus stop.  The fun really began once I got on the train we're stuck waiting there with the doors open the cold coming in, conductor said delays I said every expletive possible to myself of course, then the train proceeded to move in turtle speed, getting stuck 3 more times I finally had enough it was 5 minutes after 8 and I hadn't even gotten to the city yet!!! I get off jump on the Z train and that's an express train supposedly that zooms by the local on a good day and now it's running on turtle speed and I think the wtf I just can't win!!!!.  It picks up speed finally getting into essex st I finally get off at my stop to clock in at 8:24 24 MINUTES late it's ridiculous.  They must be sick of seeing my emails at the MTA but I don't care still going to keep sending them until they clean up their act there's no reason why someone should be late 3 times in a week last and I'm hoping that this will be the only week I will be late.  I really should be leaving my house at 6:30 just to get here on time based on the turtle speed this system rides on but since I drop jr off at daycare I don't get that head start I sure wish I did.  I get to my job frozen and clock in and try to find hot chocolate only to see I don't have none and I walk to dunkin donuts run into a long line grab my hot choclate and donut and back to work to see yet another mob waiting for the elevator b/c of one elevator not working as you can there's always something nothing ever goes totally smooth maybe it does once in a while not here.  I should've started my work already but I just had to warm up and vent it all out.  Let's see how long we're left in limbo before we get to submit our timesheets.  I'm hoping that this is a quite uneventful day I'm going to take my time working as I have 24 extra minutes to kill *sigh* when it rains it poors

not enough hours in a day

Today I was tossing and turning in bed and of course my son has to wake up at a quarter to 7 on a saturday morning I predicted right last night that I wouldn't be able to sleep in.  I take him out of the crib change him and bring him to the livingroom which he will take a perfectly neat and clean room and destroy within minutes.  I then sit on the couch watch some NY1 news and go to a show called ghost story or something similar and it talked about places that were haunted and the history behind it was very interesting but some people continued to live in these homes and that's something I sure wouldn't do.  All I have to do is experience something bad and I'm out of there.  I then put the cartoons on for jr and proceeded to make breakfast after this I began cleaning the dish drainer in the tub with bleach and did my bathroom also with bleach and wow do you need some serious ventilation or you start coughing and choking right away.  I knew I needed to get groceries for the house and boy I do hate grocery shopping.  I went to BJ's got some food and other household items there, got the meat at golden mango and my final stop was stop & shop and that place was like a mad house I have to admit that they have pretty good sales when they do have them other than that you will not see me in there b/c they're way over priced.  I grab out my list of sales items I printed off the internet and off I go to find everything sometimes I will not get everything especially if the size isn't big or for any other reason I'm done and I go to checkout and I'm telling you it must be a contagious disease all supermarkets have not enough cashiers these morons at this place had a whole bunch of express lines for 12 items or less and 2 full service lines. 2 on a Saturday that's unbelievable!!! and it always seems like I always get on the best lines with the slowest cashier or the most annoying customers or the ones who fight over a few cents very aggravating indeed I felt like throwing a case of soda at one occassion at a particularly neurotic annoying very cheap customer I know it sounds violent but come on some ppl just are ridiculous and as I've said before if you want to nickle and dime and be annoying please do it between the hours of 7-2 pm mon-friday when the rest of us are at work lol.  So after that painfully annoying task of grocery shopping was completed we get home and jr continues to misbehave and i'm exhausted at this point he gets home and starts bsing about how I didn't put away the laundry and some other shit now if I didn't have company in the house I probably would've cursed him out I thought he was being a real prick considering the tiring day I had so **** what it wasn't put away I could've done it the next day.  You may love your significant other but they also know how to work your nerves.  Mine knows I can't stand his nit picking, over reactions, and at times when he just doesn't know when to stfu.  I don't like arguing but sometimes he just pushes my buttons and I explode.  After they left our home I let him have it.  I have enough things going during the week and enough nonsense to do on the weekends the last thing I want to hear someones criticism and nit picking.  Men think it's so easy to get everything done, oh I did all of this in this amount of time etc. whatever blah blah blah things take time and when kids don't cooperate they take even longer. There are only so many things you can do in a day we were supposed to take jr to the barber to get a hair cut that's going to be done tomorrow.  I also had to bathe him and put him to bed.  I know I'm not going to have no problem falling asleep tonight and I sure hope that he will try to sleep in a little later tomorrow,.  I heard that there were some major issues going on with corrections department in the area of Florida we were looking to move to that's not a good thing I'm really starting to think that maybe this is a bad idea to relocate it seems like there is no job stability anywhere these days.  I also listen when I call and I know things are back to the same way they were before we arrived down there, a leopard doesn't change their spots as they say and I know that there is increasing pressure for them to get things together and she's stressed out but she doesn't get that they're seeing that he is not putting in any effort to do anything and people get tired of that shit family or not I know I would.  I try to be sympathetic, etc. but sometimes enough is enough.  There are times I don't want to hear anymore b/c it can get redundant at times things are hard enough for me too and while I don't have those types of problems after a while you get tired of seeing someone not doing anything and the first month of the year is almost over, what happened to the new year new start? It's a crock of bs in my opinion for a lot of people after the first week or so people fall back into the same bs exactly what I see here.  I find myself in a difficult spot b/c I want to relocate but I don't want to make a mistake and I think if it wasn't for us thinking of this I doubt he would want to look for another place and I do.  I'm tired of these stupid tenants we have they're loud, rude, annoying and I want a more modern apartment not some relic with wood paneling like I have now.  I also think about going to refresh my healthcare courses so many things to think about sometimes I feel like I have the world on my shoulders.  There are times when I wish I could just leave everything behind or have a few days to my self I appreciate being along a lot more now than before since it's not very often I get time to myself.  The year is still brand new but times goes by fast.  I sure hope things start to fall into place eventually b/c I need to know what direction to go, I know I'm tired burned out and need some time to regroup and a brief vacation isn't long enough for me especially when you're not alone or with friends.  Well it's after 10 and I had better get some rest so that I will be able to get up when jr does. 

long week, city incompetence, snow related annoyances

This has been one heck of a week one filled with annoyances of every possible kind and I'm glad it has come to an end and the weekend has arrived.  Being late 3 times in a week, doing work out of title, receiving the wrong chinese food order when I already had an aggravating enough day at work, city declares a snow day yesterday due to the ton of snow we got and our mayor and his very competent administration (note the sarcasm) and I get an automated response almost 3 pm saying it's ok for us to report to work are you freaking kidding me??? There was no bus service yesterday and even if there was there was tons of snow everywhere there was no way I could come in.  This is not fair to anyone especially people with kids and people whose train lines were suspended, etc.  and now they're saying they're still "deciding" if they're going to pay us or not.  I was like wtf!!! This mofo earns a $1 yr. and is a multi billionaire who the **** does he think he is that he can get away with out paying the city workers you're the ahole who made the decision and closed down the non emergency offices and now you think you're going to stiff us.  A mgr in the office was pissed off and he says the union may get involved I sure hope so b/c this is not fair to us.  We don't earn big time salaries and have expenses.  The whole automated response system was a disorganized incompetent mess but with the city it's not surprising always incompetent, a day late and a $1 short.  I'm so sick of this man thinking he can make up the rules as he goes along.  He changed the term limits to suit his benefit and has switched parties democrat, republican and now independent and in my opinion full of pure shit!!!!.  You can't run a city like your corporate business the same rules don't apply.  I hope they're able to resolve this situation b/c there are going to be a lot of angry people at work.  I'm so tired of this snow already as you can see look at all of the problems it causes transportation issues, roads need to be plowed, etc. and the only real good clean up effort they do is in Manhattan take a look around your areas if you live in any other area of the city.  Queens has one of the worst clean up efforts with big heaps of snow, snow plows coming in to plow the streets and trapping cars who probably were already dug out local aholes who don't know how to shovel contribute to this problem.  I can't get why they don't have snow melters. Today wasn't an easy morning for me I sure didn't feel like getting out of bed I get us ready and I get outside and I had to wait what seemed like an eternity for him to dig out the car b/c the plows buried it yet again which made me late to work I was fuming and due to the big mountains of snow he had to pull up to the end of block for us to get in the car so some cab driver starts yelling at my husband to move out of the way that he was blocking and he very well sees me coming with jr and he tells him has a kid he still continues running at the mouth and I was already aggravated that I was running very late so I went off I said look you f* ahole cant you see that I have a kid and need to put him in the car, and various other expletives I think he eventually turned on to the other street not my most shining moment but some people are really selfish and inconsiderate in a rush to go no where the fun really began when we pull up to the sitter's house who on her block had 4 huge piles of snow they looked like mountains I literally had to slide down a heap of snow with jr to get to the front with my knees getting wet all of this fun before I even get to work.  I wore my new sorel caribou boots and they're very cubersome and bulky I felt like a darn lumberjack but they did keep my feet dry. I think if I would've had more time I wouldn't have bought them when I get off at my stop I start slipped and sliding on the walkway by the transfer point of the number trains I thought I'd slip and bust my a**more excitement to add to my day lol but I didn't.  I finally get to work 11 minutes late and settle in and of course time always flies when you're late and those last few minutes feel like an eternity.  Lunch time comes I go to get some pizza I treated myself to chicken slice from Little Italy got a hot chocolate and went back to my desk.  I worked through the afternoon and after I was all done printed out some coupons grocery list and when my time went punched out.  I get to the train station and i can't believe that someone who left way before I did was still waiting for the infamous J train more city incompetence.  She got to sit when someone else gets off I sit with her and we're talking and I notice some idiot standing in front of us rolling her eyes while we were in conversation and I thought don't you have head phones on? Neither one of us was talking loud, etc.  I felt like why don't you turn on some music if you don't like what we're saying, move, or myob.  but my rational side comes over me and says ignore this freaking idiot the majority of aholes on the subway aren't worth your time.  A new slogan for the MTA should be billions billions of aholes riders and workers alike. I finally get back to the neighborhood meet up with him we pick up the laundry, jr, and take out from peruvian chicken place pio pio love their food but as I've said before on here it makes you very thirsty.  We all ate watched our show The People's Court and then I had to change jr and get him ready for his bath, put his pjs on and his father read to him and put him to bed. .  I feel relieved that this week has finally come to a close and he did all of the cleaning to which I'm eternally grateful only thing left for me to do is clean the bathroom get some extra rest tomorrow but knowing my son that probably will not happen.  I'm looking to get some things at the supermarket tomorrow but I'm kind of hesistating due to it being the weekend. We'll see what happens. 

snow day

Yesterday was the preview of the snow storm and last night is when it really started coming down when I looked out the window before bed there was a lot on the ground already.  My bed felt so warm and comfortable and I had decided that I wasn't going to work and lucky I did b/c the city declared an official snow day and closed the offices.  There was no city bus service which meant I couldn't have gone even if I wanted to attempt to go to work I stood warm and dry at home,.  Now I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm glad friday has finally arrived tomorrow. During the day I did some cleaning up and he replaced the faucet and I tried to catch up on rest.  The day goes by so fast when you're home but drags on at work for some weird reason.   I then went to the store to get some things at the supermarket and it was like an obstacle course to get around tons of piles of snow everywhere I'm sure it will be clean in the city tomorrow as they get first priority for clean up well they should put more effort into the clean ups on the side streets.

annoying day

This morning was like any other had to be woken up again I got ready had my breakfast and got jr ready which isn't always easy b/c he can be grouchy in the morning.  I drop him off and as I turn the corner I see my other bus coming and I ran very fast to catch it almost busting my ass and getting hit by a car now that's dedication to get to work lol nope I just didn't want to be late yet again.  I get on my train start my ride praying that it would be an uneventful commute and it sure was thank goodness I guess they figured they put me through crap for 2 days in a row. I get to work and warm up with my hot chocolate read my news papers and unwind and I begin my work day which was pretty slow and boring and the bad weather sure it didn't help.  I get bored during the day a lot so I surf the net, read, etc. and finally my lunch time comes and I'm ready to leave and they come to me telling me that they need a translation and I could feel myself getting annoyed b/c technically that's not my job and I asked if it could b/c I'm going to lunch and they said no and I was like wtf I go over there and get on the phone and this lady really pissed me off b/c she calls the hot line and when I try to ask her all the info the other rep couldn't due to language barrier she was taking a very long time and she's the one who initiated the call you would think she'd have all of the info and I don't know if there was a bad connection or what but it didn't sound clear so I winded up misspelling the name the other person didn't even have our ID number or tell me the name was hyphenated I finally get whatever I could and leave.  I go back to my desk to attempt to find this in the system it takes me forever to then post the notes in the system and 20 minutes is shaved off my lunch time I was fuming heck I even said it as I walked over I'm not doing this again i'm not a translator. My whole point is she gets to go on her freaking lunch break with no interruptions from now on I'm not doing anything and I'm going to make sure I disappear before 1.  I know that sounds screwed up but I don't get paid for this shit and frankly I believe a lot of people take advantage of people who are bilingual and I think people who work as bilingual customer service etc etc are also underpaid in my opinion. The thing with spanish is people don't realize that no one speaks it all the same there are different countries, differents words and expressions and while many words are universal sometimes it's not uncommon to come across words or things you may not understand.  Now I'm a good worker professional team player etc but I'm no one's fool either.  A lot of people take kindness for weakness and that infuriates me I could've easily said no and been protected by the union contract b/c it's an out of title task. I thought to myself if I didn't need this job I would've walked right out of here that's how pissed off I was.   I then venture out in the snowy wet weather to au bon pain yeah I was a glutton for punishment to walk in the sleet and slush quite a messy sight indeed.  I got myself my favorite chicken noodle soup, an orange scone, and tried their hot chocolate for the first I figured I deserved it for all the aggravation I've been through this week with the mta and today with this stupidity and when I return I made it a point to mention that the whole thing took 20 mins off my lunch and she thanks me and tells me I could make up those 20 mins and I thought I was going to do regardless.   Today during down moments I research the FL job market again and I saw maybe two things not liking what I'm seeing still which kind of scares and discourages me at the same time.  I also looked into some hospitals here in the city b/c honestly I have to admit I'm getting sick and tired of the bs that goes on here.  I know everyone has their good and bad days at work it's normal but there comes a point in your life where you've done all you can do and it's time to move on to a new chapter.  This week I saw someone who came into the office who's working in healthcare and I thought to myself there are people I see that I really wonder how they get their jobs b/c a lot of them aren't very professional or know their material which kind of brings me to the point that sometimes people just have luck not necessarily the skills and it boggles my mind that I went to school for this and I never found work in the healthcare profession and I felt like a total failure and it was a waste of my time and efforts.  When I see all of those advertisements on TV for healthcare training or trade schools I think many of them are a bunch of thieves looking to take your money and give you false promises and get you into debt b/c seriously for you to qualify for financial aid isn't easy and let's face not too many adults these days can afford to be full time students unless you got it like that or got full financial etc.  I'd like to pursue this again but honestly my past experience left me with a very bad taste in my mouth so I'm very cautious to pursue it again maybe  just it was the wrong time of my life or just a shitty school, etc.  I just don't want to go into school which will be harder now that I have a child study get good grades and I can't find work and sadly this happens to a lot of students and our shitty economy doesn't help this.  I also think sometimes ppl don't really research the field they're interested in and make unrealistic goals for themselves while it's nice to dream at the end of the day everyone has to pay rent, utilities, eat etc.  He's watching american idol and I'm being tortured b/c some of these people are down right terrible and are a bunch of sore losers.  Some good talent has come out of this but most of the times I'd rather not watch this as it gets boring i'd rather watch CSI Hawaii Five O or some other type of show.  I'm sure it's going to be really fun to get to work tomorrow in all of that snow let's see if the MTA will be able to deal I will have a ride at least thank goodness for that.  Well it's after 10 and it's time for me to start winding down for the night.  I so wish tomorrow were Friday but still have one more day.  Tomorrow is another day let's hope it will have a better outcome than todays.

MTA didn't go my way again

Today I hoped I would have an uneventful commute, it was too much to ask for the MTA to do it's job and get me to work on time.  My first train I was on was running like a turtle and when I finally get to my transfer point there was one big cluster **** on the downtown 6 service.  I hear an announcement that a downtown train is coming and not only does it come by it bypasses all of us.  I was like wtf!!!!! I as well as everyone else had to wait on that narrow platform which isn't safe for the next 6 train which of course went local and due to all of this crap I was 15 minutes late to work.  I was so annoyed and aggravated especially that today was jr speech therapy session.  I managed to make it here after 5 which isn't too bad.  Tomorrow we're expecting snow and bad weather and I worry b/c this may be day 3 that I'm late to work b/c MTA can't even do their freaking job when the weather is good expecting competent service during a snow storm is way too much to ask.  I punched in and I went back outside to dunkin donuts to get my usual hot chocolate and donut and ms congenialty charges me only for the hot chocolate but not the donut and I then said what did you charge me for?What I really felt like saying is get your head of your a**!  I gave her another dollar for the donut, isn't that ridiculous a $1 for a donut I remember when they were so cheap.  I grab my daily metro and am ny and off to work and begin my day.  When you're late or you oversleep your whole day is thrown off and 4:00 comes way faster for everyone else who was lucky to arrive on time.  I then start my day and I attempt to go into our system and I get a bunch of error msgs and I'm think now this nonsense do you think it occured to anyone to alert anyone in systems? Nope.  If it weren't for the fact that I took a screen shot of the pg and emailed the head of systems it wouldn't have gotten fixed.  This is type of crap that annoys me at times and I'm not trying to pat myself on the back b/c I did that but come one we all have work to do and in life you need to take initiative and it's sad that no one takes the iniative.  I got a ride to pick jr up at the sitter which I'm eternally grateful for any chance I get that I don't have to deal with the mta I live for the moment we got home just in time and his second session was good he repeated more words but still has to work at self control b/c he started to get distracted very easily we also thought that a half hr isn't enough so this is something that I'm going to address this with the service coordinator.  I managed to get all the mail done by lunch 125 letters to be exact and I headed to a store called tents & trails where I went to look at some boots and the north face coats and I tried on a long black metropolis coat and while I like black I was hoping that they had other colors but they didn't in plus sizes darn! It was 200+ so I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet I may go back and put it on lay away I've realized that I want to start taking more pride in my appearance and buying better things I work hard for my money and it goes to many things especially stuff for jr household items bills etc. but rarely anything for me and while I'm not going to be ghetto fabulous I'd like to treat myself to a good thing once in a while b/c good things cost money they don't make things like they used to Totes used to be good boots now they stink, the materials are cheap, they aren't true to size which is why they were returned you have to spend 100 and up for good boots or foot wear period sad but true.  He came home and we were exhausted he ordered a pizza for all of us I gave jr his bath read him some stories and he fell asleep pretty fast and we watched some tv and I saw a little bit of the president's state of the union address and I was impressed with it but as a country we have a lot of work to do, we used to be on the very top and now it's embarrassing how things have gotten.  It's going to take a long time to get this country back to the way it was and it may never fully get there due to the carelessness and crooks of corporate america and wall street but it's high time people of both sides especially the red side realize that there is no quick fix to the economy or any other situation it's going to take a lot of hard work and time and no matter who is responsible the problem is here now get to work and start to fix it and get our country back on track.  On that note it's been a tiring day with a very mentally exhausting beginning and I'm off to shower and to hit the bed I hope the snow isn't too bad tomorrow.  I'll be aiming to get to work on time again for the 3rd day in a row let's see if that actually happens.

weekends fly by too fast

The weekend has come to a close and this weekend we got to spend some couples time together going to the movies and to the olive garden for dinner this is a rare occurence but I cherish it when it happens.  We don't get to have time alone like that and I can see how it's very easy for people to get so wrapped up in the daily rat race, dealing with their kid or kids, running errands, house work, etc.  and they barely take time out for each other.  It felt weird not having our son with us b/c he goes everywhere with us he's even been with us to the olive garden.  It felt nice to have some adult time alone.  We spoke about the relocation if it's going to happen or not, and many other topics and we're still unsure about a lot of things.  The dinner was great their soups and excellent and their desserts are decadent and delicious.  When I left I was stuffed, we both were and we went to the sports authority where I treated myself to a pair of sorel boots that were quite expensive but I look at this way it's nice to spoil yourself once in a while it felt good to buy something for myself for a change rather than paying a bill or buying other things.  Then to walmart to pick up household stuff and I couldn't believe how crowded it was the check out lines were outrageous and I came across my pet peeve yet again not enough cashiers open I mean seriously it's Saturday!!! You have 20 lines all 20 should be open especially at the height of the weekend rush and you have idiots trying to jump the line or to express line where it moving slower than a tortoise I have an idea einstein why not self check out lol ah new yorkers most of us have zero patience and are in a rush to go absolutely no where! We then proceeded to home depot which I hate that store b/c it stinks and I have no idea about anything having do with hardware, repair, building, etc. to get a replacement part and after that it was off to the movies we saw the Green Hornet it was an okay movie the special effects were a little overdone and it was a so called 3D movie I think maybe one or two things were 3D kind of disappointing in that area.  When we arrived home our son was still up and wasn't happy when his father put him in his crib he cried for a few minutes but then conked out.  Last night I felt really tired and my lovely neighbors were blasting their music for 3 hours you'd think there was a latin quarter on the 1st floor of this building and I opened the door and I hear all of this loud talking, etc. and I'm like wtf is this shit? It's after midnight.  I wanted to call the cops so bad.  This is a total lack of respect and consideration for the other tenants in the building.  I tried filing a noise complaint through 311 and that was a freaking joke I never got through to a human being and I was just so frustrated.  I like music just as much as the next person but not late at night when other people are sleeping or during the work week. I went to bed late last night and I sure didn't feel like getting up this morning but despite going to bed late jr woke up at 7:45 and I had to drag myself out of bed *sigh*.  I made him his breakfast played and after a while I really started to feel tired it was the afternoon and I put him in his crib and he cried and cried and after a while he fell asleep and slept for a few hours.  I should've done the same.  A family member came over and I got dressed and went outside for a while to get some fresh air and a break who would want to go out in this cold but trust me when you need a breather like I did the cold is the least of your concerns.  We had dinner which they prepared afterward I felt so tired I felt my eyes close that usually happens after you've had a good meal I struggled to stay awake since jr was still up.  I changed him and gave him a bath dressed him in pjs read him some books and off to bed.  Now I finally have some down time and according to my regular schedule I should've been in a bed a while ago.  I brought my clothes out to the livingrm for tomorrow morning so I won't have to search for anything in the dark and half asleep.  Watching bits and pieces of Hawaii Five O love that show but it's 11:00 and I have to start getting ready for bed going to hit the shower and catch some zzzz's make sure my cell phone alarm is set extra loud b/c it's Monday and I'm slower moving than any other day of the week.  Tomorrow will be frigid temps again, not looking fwd to it.

another day another dollar

This morning began with me getting ready to go work and my son putting me through wringer yet again, he wanted to take his leap frog computer with us and when I took it away all hell broke loose.  I missed my bus again and I hoped I wouldn't be too late but it doesn't help my commute timing when the idiots at metropolitan ave decide to start mopping the trains and posting signs. I'm wtf is wrong with the MTA well I have a laundry list but seriously this is rush hour? can't you post notices on off hours and same with cleaning the cars especially mopping them many times they don't even do this and I can make great timing on the bus and the train stalls there it's so aggravating.  This leaves me little time to make a stop at dunkin donuts the atm or any other quick stop before I get to work and then throw in the elevators acting up.  On my ride to work I noticed a woman coming in with two small children and then I noticed some rude ghetto bitch accusing her of pushing her I thought to myself gtfo it's way too early in the morning for this shit.  I looked and she didn't push her at all this has happened although not to the extreme as this stupid idiot did first of all she looked like a hs student and the woman argued back I think people target certain people for different reasons a lot of times people underestimate ppl and think they won't fight back well I think she was wrong for doing that and if someone came near my kid and stroller I would go off.  These are the reasons I avoid the subways like the plague with my child.  Not only are they filthy and full of germs they're also full of a-holes and crazy people.   After that episode I see another einstein get on with leggings low cut socks and low top sneakers exposing her ankles wtf is that? did you get dressed in the dark? Well my train gets to my transfer point in which I catch the 6 and it stalls wonderful for me and I'm trying not to think about the minutes passing by and how long I will have to stay behind.  I finally get to my stop and I walk to dunkin donuts which I dread b/c there are two clerks there that I can't stand they're both very rude and I've come close to cursing one of them out well I get on line to order my stuff and she's trying to get my order but still talking to someone else so she obviously didn't hear me she tells the other with an attitude to take my order I'm like whatever at this point I don't give a **** who does it just give me my stuff so I can gtfo.  I take my stuff get my metro and am ny and off to work.  I show my id to the guards who in my opinion are a bunch of rude aholes and proceed to the elevator when I punch in 8 minutes which I hate b/c after 4 the clock moves soooo slow for me to leave.  I get to my desk unwind and warm up check my e-mail check a few web pgs and I begin my work and this week I've done at lot of work which I also did today and of course due to printer malfunction we're all connected to the same printer and it's too much work for these lazy clockwatcher to sort through the print outs and sort out what's theirs.  We ran out of toner b/c of this and now the person in charge of computer dept says he's not going to order a new printer and I'm like gtfo you'd rather wait for a part for a printer that we know is on it's last leg than order a new one I told my co worker he acts as if he's paying for the printer out of his pocket he needs to authorize the purchase of a new one so that all of us will be able to get the job done all of this stupidity and dealing with the mundane of every day.By the end of the day I was tired I printed out my daily reports and was ready to get out of there but had to stay 8 extra minutes that usually can make me miss the train   Went to quiznos sub today to get my favorite chicken carbonora sub which tastes great every time, tried their soup the last time also great.  Then I find out I had to pick up jr b/c he got stuck late at work which I dread but then I got a ride which made my life so much easier.  He then brought some pio pio chicken which tastes so good but it will make you thirsty like crazy we all had some then jr decides to dump his food on the floor and I'm already feeling tired but he cleaned it up.  I gave him a bath read him books and off to bed.  Tomorrow we're expecting more snow and I'm glad that I will have a break from dropping him off this is rare but when it happens I make sure to always catch the early train which most people are still asleep or barely conscious and it's nice and quiet and I get to the city nice and early b/c I definitely want to get to work on time on friday so that I may leave exactly at 4.  We're watching NCIS and I should've been in bed a half hr ago but there goes the insomnia again well I had better get to bed or I won't be up on time tomorrow.  The things we deal with in a day it's ridiculous sometimes.

slow moving day

Today began exactly as I thought it would I couldn't bring myself to wake up and I didn't hear my alarm had it not been for the fact that he came into the room I would've been late.  Last night after experiencing a stressful day I had the worst case of insomnia but I eventually fell asleep but it always seems like the night flies by and just when you're comfortable warm under your blanket and in a real good deep sleep is when my cell phone alarm goes off and it's time for me to pry myself out of bed.  It felt like monday instead of tuesday.  This morning's weather wasn't good at all snow on the ground not as much as the blizzard or previous storm but freezing rain and sheets of ice frozen over night sure don't help the commute at all.  I was grateful to him that he dropped us off b/c I sure as heck didn't want to walk in that with jr.  When we arrived at the sitter house I get out of car to take him and I was walking slow I almost slipped and fell I was wondering where the heck where the salt trucks that this ice was that thick. I had to walk really slow and it was drizzling I ring the bell it's freezing cold and I get no response mind you my son was sick and is taking medication so I'm getting more pissed off by the minute and I finally ring the bell again and the door opens but it's someone else not the sitter and I'm wondering wtf is wrong with an adult who can let someone wait out in the cold with a small child b/c you didn't like what a parent said to you I mean seriously it never ceases to amaze to what lengths people's stupidity and lack of maturity reach at times.  I signed him in and he's just a kid he runs in to the house and I leave and the "adult" and I use that term loosely never showed her face.  If I was in that ghetto state mind of mind I probably would've told her ass off but she truly isn't worth me wasting my breath over.  What's wrong with people is they like the idea of running a business and they like money but they have no professionalism or any business etiquette at all you would think a return of a phone call would be their priority but it's not it's one big disorganized cluster f***.   My next day off is Feb 22 and I'm going to make a back up plan b/c i'm not going through this nonsense again.  I get to work only to find the gate closed to city hall park and I had to walk around it which made me later to work.  I was freezing grabbed a large hot chocolate at dunkin donuts my daily am ny and metro papers and headed off to work.  I did a few things and began my work day I did a lot of work or maybe it just seemed like a lot but I sure felt heavy handed and tired so I know I won't have any problem falling asleep tonight.  On my ride home the MTA screwed up as always J train was slow and behind we get on the train it was packed we get off at essex to get the M no where in sight we get on another J train and finally get the M in myrtle ave-bway.  I was so annoyed b/c I had to be home on time since today was jr first speech therapy session and it went pretty well except for the times where he wanted to be defiant and not follow the therapist I just wish it was at least one hour of instruction it's only a half hour and when he really got into it the session was over I signed the papers and she will be back next week, we still haven't heard from the other two therapists yet but I think he will be fine with them too I hope anyway.  As the session was going on I was trying to stay focused but I felt myself drifting off and after she left I felt like grabbing a pillow and blanket and dozing off.  Dinner was done we watched our shows jr ate and made a mess after that I gave him a bath put on his pjs and read him some books and he was asleep after 8.  Commuting is tiring especially when you have to deal with MTA incompetence all the time I hope they shoveled and salted b/c I want to get to work on time so I can leave early and be home early.  Tomorrow is hump day which means this week will hopefully fly by fast and this weekend I'm going to try very hard to relax and catch up on rest.  I'm going to do a basic cleaning up sometimes it seems like no mater how much you clean and organize it never lasts.   Well my exhaustion is taking over so I will be heading off to bed, I hope I will make up for the sleeplessness of last night. 

mlk day and politics overall

Today was MLK day and most people just see it as another day off.  I looked on my cell phone today to see various news links and blogs in his honor and I clicked on one that had a you tube link of his famous I have a dream speech and I listened to the speech and it saddened me that this man had a vision of peace equality and respect for all people in this world and in a short span of time his life was ended by an assassin I think about how different the world could've been if he were still alive and he would've been able to continue his goal or if President Kennedy and his brother Robert were here the same? or would they have been saddened by the way today's world is.  The 1960's were a time of change and turmoil in this country and I think they really wanted to try and improve our world but the ignorance and intolerance and fear of change is what motivated people to plot what became their demise while they were the pioneers of this movement and this world has made a lot of progress since those days but there is still a lot of work to be done there's still a lot of hatred, discrimination and intolerance toward certain groups, the anti-immigration sentiment, etc.  sometimes it makes me think that it's just a different type of racism now that evolves with different issues and situations.  I know that nothing is gained with violence, hatred and intolerance and everyone loses.  It seems like these days you can't even have a conversation about politics without getting into a heated argument, fight, or worse a shooting.  I hope one day that people will see past race color religion and political affiliations and see one another as people with likes dislikes hopes and goals and we may not always agree with one another you can always agree to disagree I know I have there's a lot of peoples views I don't agree with and I respect them and they're entitled to have their opinions I don't get why that's so hard for some people.  Why would anyone want to live in a world where everyone looked the same, had the same political views, religious beliefs it would be a pretty boring world I think safer to someone but very boring to me and many others.  Diversity is a good thing I just wish people would see that.  If we don't explore and think outside the box, take risks, experiment we will never experience life.  Sometimes we make good choices and some bad but life experience isn't acheived by being perfect it's being human and being human is imperfect.  I think MLK visions lives in other people in our current time who try to emulate his works and his vision and hope things will one day start looking up instead of down as it's been these past few years.

no down time today

I was looking forward to this weekend as it was a long weekend to rest and relax but saturday was the usual cleaning of this house which I hate to do and run some errands.  It's getting to the point that I hate going to the stores b/c they never seem to have what I want but I always seem to find the right color size, etc. online in the comfort of home with no long register lines or annoying customers.  Yesterday I went to bj's to pick up a case of water pull ups and a few snacks.  Why is it that the express line in the stores is the slowest line? I notice this in every type of store out there.  I also think to myself why do they never have enough cashiers but if someone asks if they're hiring, they don't need any help, it's just plain old incompetence in my opinion do they really think we have time to wait around most of the time none of us want to be bothered with going in the first place.  Today was supposed to be my "me" day well that it didn't work out and now I have to go to work tomorrow morning and it will feel like a monday instead of tuesday.  I spoke to the sitter a few days ago who said she'd be open today and I called to confirm yesterday no response left a msg same outcome sent a text to her daughter no reply either and I was really upset b/c she was the one who said she'd be open I wake up and get my son up call her and she gives me some bs that she just got in and I'm thinking @ 7 am she's full of shit and I got annoyed of course and said you didn't get my msg that I was bringing and I left a msg with your daughter and she started talking a lot of crap and then told me if I wanted to bring him I could but no kids were going to be there I said **** this and her I don't need this crap I can't get how hard it is to return someone's phone call or reply to a msg what if I would've gone out in this freezing cold weather got on the bus with my son for you to say that!!! I would've told them off.  Truth is I haven't been exactly thrilled with their services for a while already and their lack of organization, etc. but I'm like millions of other working parents out there I can't afford the outrageous tuition of pre schools and don't qualify for a voucher b/c I'm married and my husbands income we'd be laughed before the application process began if I applied alone I would qualify but this is not the right thing to do even though people have suggested it to me for every 10,000 people who get away with it I will be the 10,001 person they will catch so I continue to bring him there until I find a better solution or our relocation goal is finalized.  There really needs to be more affordable daycare options out there b/c it's not easy to qualify for a voucher your income has to be pretty low and considering the high cost of living these days especially here in NYC it's tough to get by these days.  My son was pretty bad today refused to take a nap tried for 1 hr 30 minutes to be exact and I was frazzled hungry and was in desperate need of a break it didn't happen till his father got home.  He then tells me this how life as a SAHM would be and I couldn't even handle today and I want to say oh stfu,. there are good days and bad days and this was just a bad day he doesn't always behave like this. Men think being a SAHM is a piece of cake until they have to do it I once remember coming home to a messy house, etc. and he gave the same excuse I did lol not fun when you actually have to do it.  Once he got home we got something for dinner and I retreated to my bedroom to watch some tv and just have some time alone and it made a little difference and the cat decides to come in and hop on the bed to keep me company as she always does and I also think she smelled the cold cuts and wanted some ham and turkey so I gave her some and she vaccumed it of course.  Jr. even gave his father a run for his money to put him to bed and take his medicine just one of those days and I'm glad that it has come to a close that I finally have some downtime to relax before I have to get up and get ready for work tomorrow.   I spoke with the our new service coordinator today and she seems to be a nice person and we discussed his evaluation and speech and special instruction plan.  She works pretty fast b/c I quickly after got a call from a speech therapist and his first session will be tomorrow after work and I'm looking forward to it and I hope he behaves and warms up to her.  I also asked her to research things about early intervention in Florida so I know what their criteria is just in case we need it.  I hope that this coming weekend we will have some downtime to do something besides always cleaning and running household errands if I could only afford maid service and a nanny that's a dream of course.  These are the days I wish my mother still lived here I would've been able to get a break and regroup but maybe that will change in the future we'll see what the coming months bring. 

the dilemmas of working parents

Today was another cold morning and I sure didn't want to get out of bed I forced myself out of bed and jr heard me of course and cried so I took him out of the crib and brought him to the livingroom.  He's been cranky for the past few days b/c of fever and we think he may have pink eye.  I hope not b/c it's contagious.  I was late to work today thanks to the wonderfully competent MTA the buses came 3 at a time and the one I was on decided he wanted to let us off mid way b/c it was too much work for him to drive up to the bus stop and let us off so we winded up getting off between a big heap of snow and passing cars.  I was so annoyed I had to pick him up and hurry up and cross the street.  I get to the sitter and give her the children's motrin and she asks me if I had taken him to the dr but I couldn't b/c all of them were closed due to the snow.  I told I her I didn't have a chance and just when I arrive to work 13 minutes late a little while after that my cell phone goes off and it's her telling me that he has discharge coming from his eye and I thought he didn't have any when he was at home either way she says she has pink eye and how she had to keep him away from the other kids  and how it's contagious and not fair to the other kids or her now I get this but don't make it seem like I knowingly brought my son to you with pink eye and couldn't be bothered b/c I had to get to work now that maybe the case for a lot of parents but it's not with me.  I then was stuck with the dilemma of having to leave work early or his father leaving early and I opted for him to leave early.  I was pissed off at first initially b/c he tells me to leave MY job and I thought why is it that men always say so are you going to leave early? I said I don't think so I don't have enough time off so I have to be careful and I was already out due to snow so I thought it was only fair he left and he did.  He says that he didn't see any discharge either I think she just wanted him out of the daycare so that the other kids weren't around him.  I made the appointment for the dr and I hope that they will give him something for it but another dilemma was he will have to be out of daycare until he gets better this is the hardest part for working parents these are times I wish I was home with my child b/c no one will take care of your child like you do and who wants to worry about having to answer to a manager boss or having to worry about having paid time off? I sure wish I didn't.  Some women can be a parent and not have to worry about being a provider but some have to be both parent and provider or partial provider in my case.  I think society has lost focus on what's important these days.  It shows in our ridiculous maternity leave packages that companies give out, the outrageous cost of daycare, and parents who want to live a certain lifestyle have two cars, the latest stuff etc. but no one realizes who's paying the price in the process, the children.  They're being raised as latch key kids, or by after school programs, babysitters, etc. while the parents bust their asses at work and come home tired from commuting and working all day and sometimes don't have even the energy or the patience to deal with the children.  I know b/c this is how I feel sometimes.  I sometimes lose my patience and get aggravated and I realize that children don't know and realize that we are tired aggravated need a break, etc.  There's only so much you can do in a day and usually by the time I get home from work I don't want to do much but change my clothes, watch some tv, have dinner which neither of us usually wants to do and most of the time he does while I watch jr give him his bath and get him ready for bed, etc.  I think people really need to think twice before they have children especially women b/c I think that everyone gets caught up in the pregnancy, getting all of these things for the baby most over priced latest gadgets that don't really matter no one thinks about childcare, your job and having to juggle all of these tasks as a full time working parent, without going postal.  Earlier this week it was determined jr needed speech therapy help with motor skills and early intervention is really getting on my nerves b/c we tell them specifically we need evening or weekend services I get a call from a speech therapist and tell her these needs only to be told that was "impossible" due to her busy schedule and I thought wtf is wrong with these people do they think that everyone has the luxury of staying home or living off the system well I sure wish I did while I know my son needs the help these agencies have to realize the dilemmas we face as working parents and try to work with us not against us and stress us out even more.  So his father is supposed to contact the new coordinator and I hope this is resolved b/c I'd like jr to start receiving the help he needs ASAP.   These are things that no one thinks about and we wanted to have another child but I doubt very much that will happen at least not now and definitely not living here in NY.  It's too expensive to live here and I don't want to deal with the same stress I deal with now two fold and having to pay out daycare for 2.   These are the times when I think it's best for us to move out of here.  Our relocation plans for now are on hold due to job issues, me driving, etc. etc. sometimes I think it was the vacation nostalgia but there still is a part of me that does want to relocate but things have to be set in place in order for it to happen.   Right now he's at the dr with jr and I hope the dr can give him something for the infection and someone is willing to do us the favor of watching him while he's out of daycare which will always will be eternally grateful to him since I can't afford to miss any more time from work.  These are the days I wish I was a SAHM but these days with the rising cost of living especially here with rent as high as some mortgage payments it's not possible for most.  I think if more people managed their money better a lot more things can be done but sometimes even just buying the basics I find myself coming up short seems like a no win situation money doesn't go as far as it used to anymore and it seems like everything is going up metro card, food, cable is another rip off I thought about getting rid of that at one point b/c of their ridiculous fees and taxes but I do like to watch an occasional show on TV once in a while maybe it wouldn't be so expensive if they didn't add all of these ridiculous surcharges taxes and fees. 

long day

I sure didn't feel like getting out bed this morning but when do I really? I drag myself out of bed b/c jr is crying in his crib and I got up half hour earlier maybe that's another reason why I feel so run down and maybe I should've given myself an extra few days to rest before I went back to work but I didn't and now I'm paying for it.  Sleep and relaxation does wonders for your body and mind.  Today I go to catch the 6 train and see a woman who needed directions and she asks me where york st is and I think about york st in bklyn but she actually was looking for york ave in the upper east side and I thought wow how did she wind up in lower manhattan? My thing is if you really don't know don't send someone on a wild goose chase.  This fool who ever they were told this lady that the 5 train goes which is not true.  She deemed me her life saver and I was glad I could help.  When I got off at the last stop she followed and I showed her where to catch the 6 she thanked me and I went on my way to work I stopped got breakfast at dunkin donuts since I didn't get time to eat at home my metro and am ny papers and I wish they'd fix that stupid elevator as it made me late once again to work.  I then get to my desk and eat and start my work assembling and stuff mailings is a very tedious process takes me a lot of time sometimes half the morning.  I wish they could come up with a better system.  I was wondering about the meeting with early intervention to discuss the services jr needs I got the report in the mail and I have to admit it was long and a lot of details but we couldnt make the mtg this week so I called to reschedule and since I never got a response I text the service coordinator and I couldn't believe the response she sent back,  it was unprofessional and sarcastic.  I took a deep breath and thought my son needs this help but then I got angry and thought who the heck does this lady think she is to send me a message like this so I sent a mildy sarcastic response and then she replies she's sorry that she thought I knew the date it had been rescheduled which was next thursday 8:45 which i'm kind of pissed off b/c mornings are hard but his father has the day off so he will attend but I'm disappointed since I did want to be present since this is an important step.  There are so many people who have jobs these days that I wonder how they got them in the first place.  They have no professionalism at all.  Some of them don't even know their jobs well it's ridiculous.  You see this is a lot where I work but it's all over.  Today was pay day and I wasn't expecting to get much but I got something which felt good b/c it was a lot more than I expected to receive.  Tomorrow is finally friday and I'm glad I cant wait till the weekend hopefully I will get to sleep in.  Between trying to recover from the road trip and get used to ny pace again and all of this nonsense with this iphone att etc I'm exhausted and ready to call it a night.   I'm glad I will get a ride to the sitter and train b/c Friday is one day I don't want to be late. 

apple rant, att, warranty nonsense

Today on my lunch break I went to an apple store in Soho.  My husbands iphone was acting up and there is only a few days left on warranty and after getting the repeated run around from AT&T and Apple customer service.  I posted a rant on face book and got  response so I thought I had finally got someone who knew what they were talking about I take the time to go to the store and when I arrive, the person at the front tells me I have to call apple care and I thought are you kidding me? I finally spoke to someone else and I was given a slot to go up stairs and see a technician who asked me various questions and he says phone has liquid damage which I was kind of surprised and he said the part they needed wasn't there so he replaced the phone and I breathed a sigh of relief and rushed back to work I was 40 minutes late from lunch and had I worked for the private industry I probably would've gotten fired or faced sometime of discplinary action or been docked that time so thank goodness for city job and an cool supervisor.  While it's something that's not right I don't make it a habit either.  I get home phone is not working and on top of that I have a headache due to not eating wasting my darn lunch time trying to get this problem resolved.  I think my headache only got worse when he told me it wasn't working I thought shit now I have to go back over there again I made an appointment this time but the phone works now so I'm going to cancel but I will still keep an eye on it and if it starts to act weird again it's going right back.  For those of you who read my blog you know very well that I dispise AT&T wireless and apple.  I don't like AT&T or any cell phone company who has contracts it's only a way to trap you and I learned this the hard way.  Cell phone contracts should be gotten rid of but companies are smart they also know that many people want the latest phone and don't want to pay full price for it so this is the bait they use to snag and reel people in.  AT&T has some of the worse service in the metro NY area bad clarity, weird noises, and tons of dropped calls and ridiculous termination fees to boot.  I was told at the apple store to purchase apple care for the phone which is supposed to cover hardware, technical issues, but doesn't cover theft etc and what the heck is the point of only covering some things but not covering all? hmm let's see if I'm robbed or my phone is stolen do you really think I have another $200+ dollars to replace an iphone.  In my opinion that's not a true warranty.  A true warranty would cover everything.  I love apple products I mean I have an ipod nano that was a gift but what steers me away is their ridiculous policies.  When I went there today I couldn't believe all of these artsy fartsy people in there I kind of felt out of place but then it dawned on me that I was in Soho and it's very high end around there you can tell by the stores, boutiques, etc.  and of course the people.  He calls apple care on the phone and the guy pretty much told my husband he was SOL in a nice way he calls apple store they say we can bring phone back this is the shit that frustrates me I wish for once someone would know what the hell they're talking about for once I swear that I think they make things up as they go along depending on who you talk to.  I also thought about the snow we're expecting and MTA also another favorite blog topic of mine can't even handle service when weather is good as you can see the train wreck our sanitation department did and mayor jerkberg flapping his gums about what I don't know damage control isn't working and NYC was left out in the cold b/c of a bunch of lazy union scam artists who intentionally did a work slow down that caused a lot of trouble and claimed some lives too.  They're rotten actions are just beginning to bubble to the surface and you will be hearing about in the news and papers.  Everyone likes to point fingers and shift blame no one wants to take the responsiblility.  I thought it was ridiculous since snow clean up has never been a problem before.  I went off topic but I'm really hoping that this phone continues to work b/c I don't feel like going back down there and get more nonsense from them and don't feel like getting stranded due to snow.  I know I will have no problem falling asleep tonight b/c I had a pretty long and stressful day.  I'm glad tomorrow is friday.