tired thursday

It's thursday and I feel so tired and I didn't even complete a whole week of work. I couldn't sleep last night and insomnia is the worst especially when you need to get up early the next morning. I guess I fell asleep eventually but it wasn't a good rest and all that I have in my mind and on my plate doesn't help things. I get up this morning dragging to get ready and jr woke up on his own and I got him ready emptied trash and was out the door to catch my bus only to miss it b/c I got delayed with the trash. Since I've gotten back Monday I've been in a fog my suitcases are still unpacked so I've been living out of them and I spoke with a friend yesterday which helped me a little but there are times of the day where I feel really down and depressed. Tomorrow is jr visit at the child development center and I still haven't received the referral for the visit and I called the office some time last week or before requesting this information and the dr acted liked he didn't know what I was talking about meanwhile I had spoken to him a few weeks back this is very annoying when you have to deal with the incompetence of other people and I'm not rescheduling this appointment b/c LIJ doesn't have openings until October and the sooner the evaluation process starts the sooner we can know what steps to take depending on the doctor's findings. I'm hoping to hear from them by the end of the day. Closed the joint acct yesterday and I didn't expect that I'd be without a debit card until it came in the mail it feels weird b/c I'm not used to paying in cash I've gotten so used to swiping a card that it feels weird to me. Things are slow here and that doesn't help at all b/c the day drags on and I feel sleepy unless I'm talking to someone or I put on my mp3 and listen to music while I work. I dropped of jr today and I got no apology from them for canceling at the last minute which is totally inexcusable. If I had it my way I would've found another provider a long time ago. I'm crossing my fingers that he's able to go to a program or headstart b/c I'm kind of tired of dealing with group home daycares while they're a less expensive option and are licensed by the city they're like a franchise some are run very well and the people are professional and others like to make up the rules as they go along and very disorganized. Sadly many parents choose them b/c of the cost since many of these schools make their tuition so ridiculously expensive that it's out of reach for most parents especially single parents. Today it looks like it's going to rain it feels more humid than usual so that's a sign of rain made sure I had my umbrella with me and I'm crossing my fingers that it's not thundering and lightning like one time I had to see my therapist I get out of the train and it looked like a river on Queens Blvd and I saw the bolts of lightning and loud thunder I stood under a scaffolding until it stopped and was safe to walk. This session I will discuss what has happened up to this point and I'm hoping that maybe even someone in the office can help with the housing information. This weekend I have my work cut out for me :( which consists of unpacking my suitcases and giving the place a good cleaning. I'm trying to keep the laundry under control so that I'm able to either do it myself or drop it off and keep the cost down we'll see how that works. I hope to be back in the daily swing of things next week. I'm trying to get back on track with the diet and exercise but the diet needs work. I've been bad and last night I ate sweets late which is a definite no no but I can be an emotional eater as I said last night which is something I have to stop. When I looked at the calories on the package of cookies it was only 2 in a pkg I couldn't believe it but they were good going down. I also want to clear out more things in the apartment but this is going to take time. I've decided to let him keep the lap top I have the old pc at home but eventually I want to get a lap top or netbook, I even pondered getting a mac air book or ipad2. I love Mac but they're expensive as heck and I have not a clue of how to work on them. My aunt in Florida has a Mac and it's gorgeous I went to her house to try to use the internet and I stood there frozen trying to figure out how to get on the internet thinking where the heck is the blue E for internet explorer or any other browser well I didn't figure it out until after the fact that the Mac browser is Safari. Well at least I learned that much so I'm still pondering that choice until I at least have some more money or get some additional training. I do like portability of a lap top or ipad. I also wish Verizon wirless wasn't out of reach to me b/c they're one of the best services out there but with my credit and their high priced plans especially data it isn't cost effective this earth quake scare made me ponder switching yet again b/c my phone was a joke that day. Busy signals dropped calls only texting for a while so much for the now network and 4G. Now they're talking about hurricane Irene give us some time to absorb the quake first and possible evacuations since I don't live in any towns near water I don't feel scared but I've seen how bad weather can affect things I just want to make sure I have enough food supplies in the house just in case. Just got a call from the therapist about the cancelation and I felt bad about it and told her about our situation I told her it was better to talk to him directly I really don't feel like dealing with him and since HE is the one who ended things let him face the music and explain to her the reason behind his actions and if he wants to continue. I know I will continue on to heal and improve my own mental health and self-esteem. It's after 10 and I got to start getting to work.