just one of those days

Lately I feel like i'm stuck in a rut, the same old routine get up, get ready babysitter train work back then to deal with the house, child, bills, etc.  and many times I feel overwhelmed tired and emotionally defeated.  I ask myself all the time if this is all worth it?  March has arrived and I haven't even fulfilled the goals I set for myself at the end of the year which the main one was to start being a better saver.  It's so hard for me to save money b/c it always seems like something comes up or something is needed in the house but I have to start becoming more disciplined b/c I absolutely hate the idea of working and not having anything to show for it.  Jr sleep issues are also emotionally exhausting for the both of us and as soon as it's financially possible we're going to buy him a big boy bed b/c he needs to learn how to sleep in his own bed for his own good and for all of our comfort at night.  The family drama from his side is driving me crazy I can't understand how he allows these people to disturb his peace and tranquility the way he does all I know i'm getting sick of it and if I hear one more phone call and I'm going to lose it and I don't want to go that route b/c I have a pretty bad temper when I'm provoked but sometimes it is the only way people will back off and stop their nonsense.  The issue is one that can be resolved very easily but this individual is  manipulative who loves playing the victim when it's to their benefit. When we give people this sort of power they will make your life miserable and keep living their lives as miserable as it maybe and this is what I try to get across to him and I think it might have sunken in but I'm not really convinced until I see some real changes.  There are times I don't even want to pick up the phone no more.  I spoke to an old friend of mine today from HS b/c I really needed someone to talk to and vent about things and I value his advice and opinions a lot we advise each other on different things and I felt better afterward it feels good to have your feelings validated and he is one of the few people in my life I consider a true friend those are few and far between.  I also went over the 3 month progress report with the speech therapist this week and his skills are emerging but he still has a way to go to be on his age level with speech and that was hard to hear but it could be worse it could've been no progress at all.  I feel sad b/c I wish that check would've been at the end of paper with full progress but I guess he will get there eventually.  He was due to see the occupational therapist today and while I've never met this guy he's starting to get on my nerves b/c he's canceled a few sessions and is always running late.  I confirmed visit for 2 and I just hear he's getting there at 2:30 and I think we've been more than accommodating I told him if he doesn't show up today I'm contacting service coordinator we need some one who is reliable I can see once or twice but don't make it a habit.  I've even gotten annoyed with her at times b/c she hadn't returned a call from me yet had the nerve to say that I had to call her instead of her iniating the calls.  I try to have patience and be professional when dealing with these people b/c it is for jr's benefit and it services that he needs but sometimes they can really work a nerve at times.   Tonight will be his session with the special instruction teacher and I know that will go well as it always does.  I went out for lunch today and I think I was literally blown around the block due to the severe winds outside.  I really wish the weather would make up it's mind I look forward to seeing the spring weather already.  I need some distraction so I hope I am able to meet up with a friend soon b/c my daily routine and other things are giving me tunnel vision.  I've gotten to the point that if it's not in my calendar in outlook or my cell phone I just don't remember anything anymore.