post christmas

It's the day after Christmas and I should be in my warm bed and sleeping in but I'm at work with the skeleton crew staff for after the holiday. I missed the deadline to take off but I'm making sure I'm not missing it again next year. It was very hard for me to get out of bed this morning into the shower and out the front door both of us. It was a quiet Christmas like I anticipated it to be. I've been going through alot and my significant other was alone for the second year in a row because his father flew out of state to visit his sister and the rest of his family is out of state. No one should spend the holidays alone and it makes me angry that no one thought of him not even his own father to see if maybe they could help him out with airline tickets, nothing but people are quick to complain why you don't see them often enough I've experienced this and sometimes money has a lot to do with it airline travel isn't what it once was and neither is the cost. I know nothing about the west coast but from what I see the tickets are very expensive. I saw him cry and it broke my heart to see him hurting I tried to make it a good holiday but nothing takes the place of family. My brother showed up on Christmas Eve and I felt tired that day because I had to work you'd think they'd people go home early that day nope not this place. On Christmas Eve I went to pick up the food I'd ordered and it was good food but would I order food again probably not. I'd rather make my own to be honest with you. Christmas Eve he made a lasagna I will give him an A for effort but it didn't come out right while it didn't taste bad it was too much sauce or meat we all ate but he felt bad I said don't feel bad I've done my fair share of bombs in the kitchen many failed attempts at arroz con pollo, pork chops that were like hockey pucks, a cake from scratch that was a stale mess raw on the inside everyone messes up something no one is perfect the important thing that we were together. My son went with his father for Christmas Eve and this is the part of divorce that's never easy splitting the holidays but since this was the first time he'd gotten both holidays off I let him go for Christmas Eve he came home after 3 and I can sense the akwardness I said Merry Christmas to him we opened gifts my son was very happy when he saw the Nintendo Box but still asked where the PS Vita was these kids lol. I told him Santa ran out of them. After he opened his gifts I saw he quickly left and I can see the sadness for a moment there I also felt it too but I tried to focus on my son and his happiness with xmas and serving dinner. Besides the food I made coconut flan for dessert everyone else loved it but me I'm my own worse critic still trying to perfect the recipe. After eating I felt extremely tired almost falling asleep but I'm relieved that the holidays are over I'm hoping that next year the emotional financial situations are better and we are all in better spirits because this year has been a rough one and I am looking forward to a brand new year and a fresh start,.

the grinch

It's Thursday night and I'm home beside the Christmas tree and while everyone has the holiday spirit and is probably doing holiday shopping and food preparations the only thing I have up is my xmas tree and I'm reminded of the holidays by watching many a holiday cartoon special when my son is home or hearing holiday music on the radio but am I in the holiday spirit this year? No. These past few years haven't been easy for me but I think so far this has been pretty rough I didn't even do holiday cards this year I was planning on making a small dinner but even that I've scratched off my list. Have I become the Grinch? A broke Grinch perhaps but also someone who is experiencing a lot of stress sadness disappointment anger frustration in life right now due to financial issues and family issues. Last night was another day another dollar and as I pray every day a safe uneventful commute home with minimal b.s. did the usual unwind prepare dinner do homework with jr bath and off to bed. After putting him down I usually retreat to the TV for some final down time usually consisting of watching my shows of choice Law & Order, CSI, ID, and maybe food network. It was getting close to 11 pm and I'm ready to go to bed and my door opens and it's him again with the same unwanted pest. I was shocked but infuriated because I know I speak English and I made it clear what the rules were in my house I wanted to scream curse but I remained calm and finally my eyes couldn't stay open much longer I tell them I'm going to bed and I got attitude from him and they left and off to bed I went but when you have a lot of shit on your mind and your angry your adrenaline is pumping it took a while but I fell out and got up at 6 a.m. I am officially done! I've had it and today I let this person know that they will have to make other arrangements and they need to get clean and sober and I'm very disappointed with the path that they've chosen to take in their life I ask myself why? why our family? why can't people do the right thing or get their lives together? I'm far from perfect but this is not something I can continue to put up with. I'm now the bad rat because I put my foot down my mother seems to forget that it's my home my rules and rules apply no matter where you live you follow or you get out. I can't believe the amount of guilt family can put on us when we stand up for ourselves. This is doesn't make me love a person any less, it means you need help and while I've tried I can no longer do it and I'm not even qualified to provide the help that's needed here. All of a sudden I'm being made to feel as if I'm ungrateful and I quote my life revolves on my relationship with this new person that made me so angry because it's so untrue. I bust my a** working 35 hours a week to try and survive and it's for MY SON and to keep things running at home and yes this person is a very important part of my life. I have every right to have him in my life, because I as well as everyone deserves to have happiness in their life I went through plenty of toads before we finally met and why should I give that up? I won't. I've learned this lesson many times in my life but in different ways You cannot please everyone. Tough love is the hardest love we have to give but many times it's the love people NEED. I've tried to fight back tears at work and now home yes this bad rat actually is sad and upset besides being angry I actually have feelings too. I also unfortunately work Christmas Eve which totally sucks and the day after so I will be another member of the skeleton crew again. I missed the deadline to take off because it seems like every time I want to save up hours something comes up. My body and mind are exhausted and I'm dire need of a vacation and I'm going to make it happen this year 2014 come hell or high water. This holiday season will be a simple and somber one we plan to order some food from Boston Market this year and while I'd rather make my own especially since I've gotten into the cooking thing me working and life's circumstances just aren't permitting it. I guess there's always next year. Sunday I plan to go to the store and pick up my son's very special surprise for Christmas and I've come to the point that as long he has a nice Christmas with things to enjoy that's what important to me. I try to be thankful for the things I do have but right now what I need is strength and peace to overcome this hurdle right now. 2014 needs to be a healthier prosperous joyous year.

withered wednesday

December has arrived and it's been a long hard year and I wish I had the holiday spirit but I don't not even close towhat it used to be it seems like I'm an indentured servant working to pay rent and bills many a time I cannot coverall of my expenses so one bill will get paid the other will not and I ask myself am I destined to live such a miserable existence? I find myself in a bad mood most of the time wondering how I'm going to manage it all and all I wind up with is a big headache. I roll out of bed in the morning wishing I could just stay in my warm bed and not have to deal with the freezing weather and commuter stupidity. Friday is the office xmas party and I'm not going notonly am I not in the mood but I don't socialize with anyone outside of work past few parties have been boring musical chairs for real,? I'll pass thanks. On monday I got a little bit of xmas spirit when I came home from work to see my son greet me with a red hat and want to decorate the tree which we did and now the cat has a new place to sleep and the other kitten will play with and knock down ornaments. I work xmas eve so more likely than not even though the Latinos celebrate the 24th I will make something for the 25th. I also work the day after xmas which sucks but if I'm still here next year I'm making sure I'm off for both thanksgiving and day after xmas. I submitted copies of my receipts to the greedy jerk and I haven't received anymore threatening mail I guess it's because he knows that he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on I paid it all the rest is up to you. I think one of the few good things goingon in my life is my relationship with my guy he's a wonderful person and source of support he makes me see some of sort of optimism when I don't see or feel none. This weekend I saw some of my extended family which doesn't happen very often due to distance and life overall it's nice to see people but to some degree I feel we are like strangers especially after my grandmother died. This weekend I got into a disagreement with my brother and he left the house. Why is it when you stand up for yourself and put your foot down you're the bad rat well I am now due to saying what I will not allow in my home. It's hard to see someone who was doing so well making all the wrong choicesand is seeing someone whose a bad influence he makes it seem like I've kicked him out which I didn't but wherever you go there are rules to follow he plans to seek another facility I hope he's successful but I've given my home etc and this is not what I deserve in return but that's how families are we take each other for grantedand think family is required to put up with things. I see his absence having a traumatic effect on my son because he's very close to his uncle but the boundaries need to be in place and he needs to worry about getting back on track and taking care of his health issues. I see this situation having a negative effect on the holiday celebrations even though I didn't plan on this happening when something bothers us we have to address it immediately not let things build up that's my fault but only time will tell how things turn out I'm hoping that the coming year will bring me good luck good health new beginning for us and some positivity.

Mundane Thursday

These past few days haven't been easy for me I've struggled with depression for years but after my divorce it seems commonplace that I have a few down days here and there.  I ask myself everyday what my purpose in life is I try to think of a good answer can't seem to come up with one I like the ending to yet.  This the time of year I struggle with this the most b/c the end of the year is here and I start to reflect on what has occurred during the year.  Last week when I returned home from a boring monotous day at work I received a 3 day notice stating that I owe close to 5, 000 in rent the intial emotion I felt was shock from shock to anger and from anger to sadness. I don't owe this money so some would say why I should feel like this it's b/c I feel like I'm stuck living this monotonous routine of getting up getting ready dealing with commuter stupidity to and from all for half of my earnings to go to some greedy slum lord.  All of this while wanting to make sure I'm able to provide for my son and give him some treats for xmas and while that's not the true meaning of xmas as a parent you want to be able to do this.  I read this notice and immediately notify him and he acts as if he knows nothing about which infuriates me and Friday I lost it I just let him have it and told him off how are you trying to get someone evicted during the holidays someone whose a decent tenant struggling to make ends meet while you have someone doing illegal activity and they're not evicted.   I finally return his call only to be referred to a lawyer guilty before proven innocent.  I have the burden of proving I don't owe anything and once I spoke to the lawyer's assistant I was seething with anger as I'm told only images of cashed money orders are valid proof after speaking to the bank my suspicions were confirmed they were cashed. So I ask myself how can a person be this fortunate to have so much yet be a blithering idiot? Trying to scam someone out of money is wrong trying to do it to a hard-working single mother is worse.  I've never seen such incompetence and I'm fighting this till the end I don't have no more to give and I'm certainly not giving to some money hungry absent minded jerk who doesn't know how to handle his accounting and finances.  I've made the decision it's time to go I've had enough already and it's going to be hard to find an affordable apt but I think I've had my time here I need a fresh start and I cheated myself out of this last year but this year will be different.  I want to excel personally and professionally they say when you dread going to a place it's time to move on and I'm there.  I've been there for a long time but due to economic necessity I'm here still.  I feel trapped.

Some people truly don't know how to treat others and some don't deserve what they have they say there is a light at the end of the tunnel I hope there will be a light for me in the coming year.  For now I guess I will keep pushing forward as hard as it is at times keep playing the lottery and hope I win even though that's a big stretch.  Th

to the new mayor

After having 3 terms of the same mayor who I think has never been in touch with the City's working class and working poor. You cannot run a City like you run your own corporation and shame on you for trying to short change your workers who are the ones who run this City without us it wouldn't. This mayor has turned this city into a divided one the very wealthy and the poor who qualify for assistance and there's the working class people who make too much too get any help but are struggling to survive the outrageous rents in this city with no pay raises, no cost of living increases to help ease the burden, and with the new affordable care act which is a train wreck unraveling each day as we tune into the news and media how this administration flim flammed us into believing that this affordable care act was to ease the rising costs of healthcare yet they made sure they could opt out of it why can't the citizens opt out? Why not over paid crooks of congress who got paid while tons of people were furloughed with no income to pay their bills and our president if it's not good enough for you why should it be good enough for us to suck it up and add yet another expense to our already tight budget. Working for the city half of my income goes to pay rent 1,289 for a two bedroom apartment that's not even worth the price they charge for it. it's in a very old community in queens where many of the apartments are in desperate need of modernization and renovation and the building structures are at least over 100 years old. I see a little bit of gentrification trying to sneak in to this area and it infuriates me because I'm struggling to make ends meet and I don't see the city doing anything to ease the burden of the working class people. No one's rent should equal a mortgage payment especially when you're never going to own it. As the years go by the rents are going up but everyone's paychecks stay the same and I've revisited this issue several times over the years and I've considered relocation twice but backed out of it and I think eventually I will have no choice but to leave NYC b/c of the outrageous cost of living, no affordable housing, and the attempt to gentrify working class neighborhoods to price out working class and elderly people who have lived here for generations have made these neighborhoods what they are now are being priced out for the likes of people who want to live a certain lifestyle that they can no longer afford in lower manhattan no more so now the people in the five boroughs pay the price for it. there's a high rise building on Myrtle ave in queens that sticks out like a sore thumb that's practically empty b/c I gather no one can really afford the rents there and a bar that's barely patronized. Such a waste of time space that could've been used for something worthwhile. Mr Mayor Elect please - Take care of your City workers and give us our much overdue pay raise and cost of living increase - Stop all projects Bloomberg had in place to make more luxury housing, this city has tons of skyscrapers and doesn't NEED NO MORE - Replace all Bloomberg staff with new people who share your vision for this City - Make affordable housing accessible to all New Yorkers, make the application process easier and have rental freezes for senior citizens and disabled your net income should be considered using a person's gross income is an insult -Take care of the working class so people like me who don't even earn 40,000 a year don't have to revisit the thought of relocation yet again and give everyone a cost of living increase - Improve our school system and get rid of corruption bureaucracy at the Board of Education - Prevent landlords from charging outrageous rents - Preserve our healthcare coverage the way it is. For those of you who think to say you need to budget better save your breath. I've done it all cut back on things, I search for the sales in the supermarket, etc and it's still a stretch to get by these days and I also have to feed clothe and pay for the school related things that come up when I had babysitting this was even harder. There's has to got to be a better way because the current system isn't working and needs to be changed. Hoping the new administration can right the wrongs of the previous one but as with all politicians lots of promises but to see them fulfilled is another

Thanksgiving and the year ahead

November is here and I can't believe how fast this year flew by.  November is a special month as it's the month my son was born.  He turned 5 this year and it makes me realize how fast time flies and how far he has come it seems like yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital and yesterday I went to his first parent teacher mtg and I'm proud yet relieved to say that he's doing very well in school academically as well as socially and his strength is in math which I'm very glad b/c numbers and me don't mix and I also attribute that to most children on the spectrum excel in math but regardless of how lr why I'm glad he's excelling became as a parent you always want to see your child succeed and surpass your accomplishments.   I asked questions about the new Common Core curriculum and realized it's not as bad as everyone especially the media puts it out to be but I will leave that for another blog.

Thanksgiving is approaching and this is the time we are supposed to be thankful for what we have I'm thankful for having a job as mundane and annoying things can get. It's better than being unemployed I have my health  and a place to live and this year I'm most thankful for the fact that I've found love again something that I thought I'd never have again it's great to have someone who compliments you someone to laugh with have fun with and cry with as I've shed many a tear this year it's been a long year and it's had it's rough spots but I'm looking forward to a new beginning.  My cooking has improved a lot and I thank YouTube channels and Facebook page pr recipes for this my next challenge will be to make a thanksgiving dinner this year an actual turkey not just the side dishes and desserts we shall see how my attempts at this turn out I've decided to try a turkey breast or a small turkey got the butterball hotline number ready to have with traditional rice and gandules and good desserts.   I'm hoping for a nice dinner and no one needing their stomachs pumped we shall see the results. 

Avonte Oquendo Case

I'm a parent of a child with autism spectrum disorder while my child is high functioning and verbal he can have the tendency to wander off at times if he's distracted by something he likes. He is a regular school in an ICT class (integrated co teaching) which is a mixed class of general education and special education. When I read about Avonte it broke my heart and it infuriated me as a parent of a child with autism spectrum disorder that the Board of Education could be so incompetent and negligent. This is a child who autistic non-verbal and has a reputation to be a runner and wander off is all the reason he should be watched carefully, due to the fact that children with autism do not like a lot of commotion, yelling, screaming, or to be held and touched too much. This child was in a District 75 Special Education School in Queens and it was integrated which makes me question how effective integrating mainstream kids and special needs is. A child like Avonte should have never been separated from his aide and supervised at all times. When our chancellor was questioned about this case he was very evasive about it Why? because he himself knows that Board of Education failed. They failed to protect this child, the aide failed in abandoning him, the security guards, failed to restrain him, and failed this family. Our police commissioner doesn't even consider his missing over 10 days a priority which infuriates me as a parent b/c I'm surprised that an amber alert hasn't been issued for Avonte from the very beginning and now since it's been over three weeks and he hasn't been found yet he says the chances that he's alive aren't very high which I'm hoping as a parent that he didn't suffer a bad fate but I have to wonder why wasn't an amber alert issued if they do it for missing children and missing seniors why not someone who is autistic and non-verbal? At this point I feel if they NYPD hasn't been successful they should involve the FBI I can't help but think even though I don't want to pull the race card if this child was white autistic and missing the efforts would be a lot stronger to find him. This case shows how incompetent, under qualified and how bureaucracies fail in providing our children with the services they need in order to get a proper education. Staff who works for this school should be properly trained to deal with autistic students who sometimes are non-verbal or don't like to be touched or approached aggressively. I'm also surprised that there are people who are judging this family for filing a law suit against the Board of Ed excuse me but if it weren't for their neglience, this family would still have their son. I know people can go over board with filing frivilous lawsuits but in this case it's warranted they must be held accountable for their gross neglience in failure to keep this child safe and in doors. The only thing this mother did was send her child to school and rely on a bureaucracy like the Board of Ed to educate her son and provide a safe environment for him. Everyone involved should be fired and while that may seem harsh and even unfair to some people but when you're hired to do a job you do it and you do it right. Children are precious to their families and if you can't understand that you shouldn't be working in the school system. I'm keeping this family in my thoughts and hoping he is found.

The Modern Latina

October is hispanic heritage month and while I can post something about food culture etc. I decided to go a different route. The modern latina tries to juggle tradition and culture with the american way of life sometimes disappointing relatives and others. I am a modern latina born here in NYC of pr descent and I am single mother of a child with autism a disorder that is not very well understood by the hispanic community or society overall but especially latinos why is this because I think it's due to ignorance lack of available outreach to families and people who refuse to see reality. Most people who would see my son would think he's a brat but he's a child on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum. My child has had many people stare at him thinking this and many other things and it's been a tough road he was past 2 not speaking well I'm a very proactive person who doesn't believe in making excuses or hiding behind denial I got him tested and evaluated and by the end of early intervention we had a diagnosis and a name. Me and his father were determined to help our son succeed at all costs and because of our drive determination to fight the system our child has come a long way and will continue to flourish and reach his full potential because I as his mother will not settle for anything less. I didn't drown myself in self-pity, denial, or think a chancleta, or some other antiquated notion was going to fix my child I took action by being open minded and thinking outside of the box. We all have to think outside of the box sometimes because life isn't always black and white there are many areas of gray too. Eventually me and his father parted ways but that doesn't affect our sense of family it just makes it our own unique situation. These days many people aren't staying married anymore or getting married at all why b/c these days people know they have options out there and don't have to stay in bad situations. Society has changed a lot and we also have to change with society and the times because if we as a community cannot keep up with the changing times, society, and culture how are we supposed to advance and help our youth advance? Working for the City and health department I see how this type of attitude hurts our community thousands of referrals for early intervention rejected by parents who are too ignorant too see how this type of evaluation can help their child succeed that if there's a learning disability or anything it can be addressed at an early age before school begins so that the child can either get the help he/she needs and not slip through the cracks of the public school system like many children do but then in the same breath they can complain about how the system sucks and does nothing to help. We tend to be master deniers ignoring problems thinking that they will go away when they just get worse without action taken. As a modern latina I have a full time job I work 35 hours per week I hate housework and laundry and only do these things because they have to get done. I don't cook everyday if I feel like it I do if not I won't and I don't have an ounce of guilt about it why b/c I work very hard and I'm human and I'm entitled to feel tired and take a break as long my son has something to eat. As a modern latina I was born in NYC and I speak ok spanish not rosetta stone but enough to get by and know if someone is talking smack about me and read and write some as well. Will my child speak it probably not although he does understand a lot of it. Am I worried about what others will think not in the least as it's not their job to assess how "latino/a" I am or anyone else is. I can cook basic dishes puerto rican style beans and rice by following mostly cook books and you tube videos. I can't makes pasteles nor do I even like to eat them. If I needed some I'd probably find someone here locally who is very talented at making them and makes a good amount for a fair price or send money to my grandfather to make some. I embrace my curly hair and I'm not stuck in a salon spending money every week getting it relaxed or blown out I don't have the time money or the patience for it. I don't like the gossip, the stupidity, and most of all the burnt neck ears and time spent there. I also don't like the salon attitudes either. The same blow out that takes 3 hours in a neighborhood salon took me 30 minutes next to my job performed by latina nonetheless who also confesses to me that a lot of time is wasted at the salon and it's usually due to gossip, etc. I also see that hairdressers can be very catty and pick and choose who to work on, ok you must have it good financially if you can afford to be picky but whatever you're not getting my hard earned money lol. I've learned not to expect too much because when we do we are usually disappointed. Another powerful word latinas must learn is NO: No is a very hard word to say to people especially family and friends but NO is neccessary as without we tend to overextend ourselves financially, with events, whatever it is if you're busy, tired, or just don't want to be bothered SAY NO. People may be disappointed but you are advocating for yourself as a person that you cannot and will not take on more than you need to or should. Try it NO is an extremely liberating word If people don't like it that's too bad. WE are women not super heroes or martyrs it's when we try to live up to this that we drive ourselves crazy. Traditions while nice aren't always able to be adapted in today's lifestyle especially in a two parent two income household where both people have to work to keep things afloat. We must be open to change: Change the way we see the world, we must raise our kids to be independent self sufficient and emotionally mature so when they're adults they're prepared to be out there in that world. Not coddle them, teach them that a woman is obligated to pick up after them or be their personal slave or chef or keep them near because of our own insecurities unfulfilled dreams and scared that they may become too independent and not need us. Teach our women and girls to be financially independent, emotionally independent, self respect, have a high self esteem, zero tolerance for machismo, or any other type of negativity that keeps them from being the best they can be. This is the best gift we can give our daughters so they can make it out their in the world. It may not be traditional way of going about things, but in the long run we as a community will be better off for it. As they say knowlege is power, so is indpendence emotional and financial. The modern latina especially this one knows when to say NO when to take a break and have a few good take out menus from spanish restaurants for those days we don't want to be in the kitchen. Drop off laundry service is a blessing and online food shopping another. I've used all of these services to keep my sanity and make things a little easier an extra pair of hands is a blessing but I usually dont have that so I learned to use these things to keep me from going insane. Do what works for YOU and your life.

Chanting fast-food workers protest in Manhattan - New York News

Chanting fast-food workers protest in Manhattan - New York News

I'm all for providing equal rights, equal opportunity, safe working conditions and reasonable wage but these protestors must be clear out of their minds if they think they're getting $15 an hour for working in a fast food joint.  Do you know what impact that would have on the food industry and our wallets? A Big Mac Value menu costs almost $7 here in Manhattan can you imagine paying 10-12 dollars for this b/c they want to be paid $15 an hour. I think their demands are ridiculous and I doubt they will get anywhere with this.  There are people making $15 an hour right now that are struggling to get by living in this city who work in offices, hospitals, every other industry how is someone working in a fast food industry automatically entitled to this amount of pay I understand yes it's a lot of work and hard work at that to keep things running but at the end of the day it is your choice to be employed there too.   I think for the most part most jobs salaries have to do with the difficulty of the job and the skills required to perform the job and pretty much anyone can fill out an application and be trained to work a register, work the line preparing the food, or do housekeeping work and I understand it's hard to get by these days but at the end of the day these people don't realize that they are not the only ones out there struggling and if they insist on being paid $15 an hour they will be out of a job because no one will go to these fast food joints to buy any food there b/c I will be twice the amount of money the meals are now and for that you must as well go to applebees fridays or any other high end restaurant to sit down get a better prepared mail if you're going to pay more $10+ for it.  The only way they're going to see any increase in their salary is if the minimum wage goes up again right now it's 7.25 an hour do I think it's ridiculous yes absolutely I think these rates should reflect the cost of living not only for the time period but for the AREA YOU LIVE IN. NYC, PA, CHICAGO, CA, and any place with metropolitan cities where the cost of living is higher should have higher minimum wage laws in my opinion but this only exists in a perfect world.  I will give them an A for effort and speaking their mind but unless the federal gov't acts I doubt this would happen or the food chain corporations as well.

NYC Democrats square off in final mayoral debate - New York News

NYC Democrats square off in final mayoral debate - New York News

As a voter living here in NYC I'm not happy with the selection of candidates we have running for mayor sadly.  What I know is Bloomberg NEEDS to go already I'm sick of him his bureaucratic nonsense the way he strong armed himself an extra term in office by changing the law to suit his agenda and as a Hispanic sick of the way this man massacres the Spanish language please shut up and get an interpreter or let someone from channel 41 translate or even better if you really want to learn Spanish get Rosetta stone or hire a teacher but please shut up until you can at least sound normal.  The mayoral candidates are also full of scandal first one being disgraced former governor Spitzer how can this man even show his face again in the political scene after what he did during his term as governor?  He lied, did illegal things, and shows he cannot be trusted and definitely not running as comptroller when that position has to do with managing city monies and sadly humiliated his wife and family she was longer over due in giving him the boot.  Weiner would've been a good mayor if he wasn't such a pervert and had some self-control and respect for his wife and their marriage and that alone is disgusting to me how can you lead the City of New York if you can't even keep it in your pants and don't have your own personal life in order this guy needs to disappear and forget about running for office. Bill Thompson is not convincing to me seems too laid back for the job. Christine Quinn is a female version of Bloomberg as she's his right hand now. Liu while has some good things also has been in the media with scandal.  DeBlasio don't know much about him but as a voter I don't see anything good coming out of the mayoral election except one thing being rid of Bloomberg.  I think a lot of these politicians are full of baloney they make a lot of promises but once they're in office nothing is done.  NYC needs affordable housing and not having to go through so much red tape and bureaucracy to get it,  after care programs for working parents, affordable mass transportation the raise the MTA has imposed has done nothing to improve service or ridership so we pay more to get less in my opinion.  City Workers need a revised contract as we haven't had one since 2009 and everything seems to be going up but our paychecks to reflect the cost of living that is increasing nonstop.  Our mayor is a known union buster and our unions need to stop giving back and put their foot down we run the city and if it weren't for us they'd be in trouble.  Bloomberg has tried to run this city as he runs his corporation and that simply doesn't work when you're running a city.  Our children deserve a good quality education not overcrowded schools, underpaid and underqualified teachers, a school system that bases children's educational progress based on some stupid standardized test scores this and social promotion is what setting up our children for failure.  If a child is not at grade level they shouldn't be promoted period why should a child be promoted for meeting minimum standards what type of message are we sending our kids?  Not parents having to supply all of the supplies so that the schools and Board of Ed shell out less money yes that's the reason for these ridiculously long supply lists.  It's sickening and there's no accountability.  Not everyone is a test taker some people are and can pass some just fail out of nerves and stress. Knowing the material taught in the classroom reading and math levels should be the criteria for promoting children not a standardized test if that were the case I would've been left back years ago as I stink in math I think what saved me was passing the reading test.  So if we can find a mayor to properly address all of these concerns I'm on board but frankly to me I'm just not convinced and that goes for both sides democrat and forget about republican candidates as I don't even bother to listen to their rhetoric.   If we had someone who had real solutions to this city's problems I wouldn't even care what politicial side they're on but I'm just not convinced at this point and when you have all of this scandal and corruption surrounding NYC politics overall it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  I'm not even sure I will go to the polls and vote this time around but we will see. 

Police: Baby dies after dad forgets him in car - New York News

Police: Baby dies after dad forgets him in car - New York News

I read this in sadness and anger b/c I have to wonder how many more children have to die b/c of the stupidity of parents like this?  I guess I can't have an impartial or flexible opinion on this issue as I am a parent myself but last time I checked your kids are your # 1 priority their safety their health and well being and quite frankly there is nothing that important that you can leave any child unattended in a car and than you leave this child in a car that has no air conditioning for what to save on gas? Take the child with you or wait till you can leave the child with a sitter or mother.  I think people these days have their priorities in the wrong place these days and some quite frankly have no business having children in the first place they don't have the emotional maturity, financial resources, patience, etc.  I have to wonder what the heck did this guy have on his mind that he "forgot" the child.  There's only one time I can remember this happening was when I was at Walmart in Long Island shopping and we heard an announcement over the PA system saying that there was a child left behind in the store and I got scared and wondered perhaps they had done it on purpose and thought of safe haven laws for unwanted children but it turns out that the parents went home and forgot the child and it was a very small infant they locked down the store as we were leaving we saw the police coming in to the store.  I don't think they made any arrests but I'm sure they let the parents have it once they made it back to the store I'm also sure that they'd be monitored by the child services too.   The message is loud and clear Parents your kids are your #1 priority and everything else is secondary when it comes to your child.  It's a shame that this story will be one of thousands already heard and hoping it will be the last even thought that's kind of unrealistic.

Man sought in alleged Brooklyn forcible touching incident | Metro.us Metro.us

Man sought in alleged Brooklyn forcible touching incident | Metro.us Metro.us

Ladies, how many times have you been on your way to work or where ever destination you're headed to and you come across some pervert getting a little too close to you they take advantage of this especially in very crowded trains on rush hour to find someone trying to either grope you or any other female or rub themselves on you. As a woman I think it's so disgusting, disrespectful and an invasion of our personal space.  This is why I avoid crowded trains and buses overall but these incidents usually take place more on subways.  I always try to be very aware of my surroundings and will be quick to say something if need be.   When I was younger I was the victim of this stupidity.  I was riding on the train to school wearing a skirt tights and shoes and the train was crowded and this guy had the nerve to inapproriately touch grab and feel my behind.  It was embarrassing and infuriating to me as I felt so violated and back in the late 90's cell phones weren't as affordable and accessible as now or have the advanced camera features but I got my revenge when it was time to get off I gave him a good hard kick in the shin and quickly left.  I think this has always been an issue on mass transit as there's been perverts since the beginning of time lol but with today's advanced technology catching them in the act is easier.  I'm glad the victim got to snap a picture of him and I hope the police do catch up with him b/c no one should have to be touched inappropriately and I can bet she's not his first victim but it's her quick thinking that put his face out there and will hopefully get him caught by the police.   Ladies stay safe, stay vigilant, feel free to elbow or kick in the shin if neccessary and let them know you will NOT stand to be disrespected. 

Urban fashion disasters

Living in a city like NYC you see a lot of different people different styles and you also see some of the worst things that make you wonder did this person look in the mirror before they left? or did they get dressed in the dark? #1 Spandex is not for everyone unless you have a body like a run way model proceed with caution 2# Just b/c it comes your size doesn't mean you have any business wearing it. 3# The latest trend seems to be showing your cutesy neon colored bras, zebra, etc. do us all a favor and wear proper colored underwear there's a reason it's supposed to under your clothes 4# if you're not skinny don't wear skinny jeans 5# Don't wear sandals if your feet have to be sand blasted by a pumice stone or haven't visited a nail salon in a long time 6# Underwear is a requirement NOT optional. You'd be surprised on how many people have violated this rule 7# Sheer fabrics on dresses or pants have no place in the office environment if you must wear a slip 8# Men who sag their pants GROW UP You are way beyond JHS and HS days. Buy yourself a belt your underwear belong inside your pants and look like a grown up. 9# Spanx can only fix so much 10# Pants ladies wear pants in YOUR size if it's tight it's not right (is a myth and a lie) we don't need to see every curve bump clump or outline of intimate areas. Camel toe violations are a big NO NO. When in doubt go to the next size. Black is your best friend to camflouage ALL. 11# V.P.L. (the visible panty line) there's really no excuse for this these days are there are plenty of options out there seamless underwear being one of them white pants= nude panties, etc. 12# Low cut blouses have no place in the office and in certain social occassions like church setting and your child's school trips save your daisy dukes, tube tops, and other things for your private occasions. Your child still has to see these people or your spouse still has to face their co workers. 13# Bras wear your right size if your cups runneth over proceed to the next cup size and if you're a C cup and larger this is a requirement not optional 14# Personal hygiene is very important spare your fellow commuters co workers etc. please shower everyday, deodorant, scope, and soap are your best friends no one wants or needs to smell this during the morning or on the way home 15# Men don't dress like you just rolled out of bed, ratty shoes and sneakers are a no no. 16# Dress and ACT your age. Stop trying to be down with the young people if you graduated HS more than 10 yrs ago I've seen women and men who do this and it's not cute. 17# White does not go with everything I don't care what ppl say 18# A tootbrush scope and tooth paste should be a part of everyone's daily routine 19# Your disposition and the way you dress and carry yourself says a lot about you. 20# Maternity: If you're pregnant use your commonsense there is a thing called maternity clothes, this is not the time to wear a string bikini at the beach and think you look cute you look like a moron 21# If gravity has taken over DON'T WEAR A BIKINI OR SPEEDOS AT ALL 22# TRIANGLE BIKINI TOPS ARE NOT FOR PPL ABOVE A C CUP 23# Ladies a shaver and some shaving cream are your best friends, nothing more nasty than a woman who doesn't shave under her arms or legs or wax her upper lip. 24# Don't squeeze into shoes, please buy your right size 25# Perfume and Cologne are great just don't put the whole bottle on 26# Natural hair doesn't mean DIRTY 27# Men white t-shirts are supposed to be WHITE faded dingy yellow underarms are for the TRASH. Bleach can be purchased in 99 cts store. 28# Men odor eaters please put them in your sneakers.

flawed healthcare system part 2

This past weekend was my birthday weekend and we had a nice simple dinner at the outback healthwise I wasn't feeling all that well because of the pain and locking in my knee I started having symptoms in my right knee that has now continued to my left knee and I'm having issues with circulation. I saw an orthopedic doctor who gave me a diagnosis and a referral for a surgeon. Saturday I was a mess I just kept taking naproxen the rx I was given for inflammation which is just a temporary bandaid. Next day I still felt bad to the point I decided to go to the emergency room and get checked out only to be disappointed with the level of care I got. The level of care and customer service in the healthcare profession is on the decline and very mediocre whether I've been the patient or someone else has. These people are a joke even the nurses these days everyone is all about doing as little as they can to collect a paycheck and it's all about the bottom line to these hospitals and doctor's offices. I take a taxi to the ER which was a 20 minute wait I think I could've made it faster limping to catch the bus and train smh @@. To wait to be called in and registered I felt as if I was on an assembly line. The registration clerks are ghetto rude and unprofessional I couldn't believe how I overheard this woman screaming at this man b/c he forgot his worker's comp claim # I would have torn her two new aholes. I guess she's pissed off because the clockwatcher had to actually do some work and look him up in the system @@. Once I'm registered I go to the back and wait in a room I wind up falling asleep and being kicked out of a room to make room for another patient who came by ambulance by this time I was aggravated tired and still undiagnosed. A doctor a.k.a "quack" saw me and tells me there's "nothing" he could do for me as I can't have an MRI in the ER that's funny wth do they do with trauma or accident victims why don't you say the truth that your joke of a hospital doesn't have an MRI tech available on sundays tells me he doesn't see any swelling on my legs ok there unless you're blind of stupid they're swollen I was given an rx for tramadol to reduce inflammation and was discharged. That's right just quick to get you in and OUT and was given a referral to adult clinic and a orthopedic doctor when I already have one in place. Very disappointing indeed as this is supposed to be the one of the better hospitals in queens sadly. We leave get on the train and bus home on our bus ride home I get the only locking pain in my knee meanwhile this quack idiot poor excuse for an md couldn't see anything wrong with me. I called out yesterday b/c I couldn't really walk that well so I took the medication and went to get my MRI done it took a while and I'm anxiously awaiting my results and my appointment isn't for another week. I am always on my feet and I cannot afford to be out of work for a long period of time so I'm investigating and applied for disability just in case I need it. I am someone who is always on the move and about so me having these types of issues is a total drag for me. I'm nervous as I just want a diagnosis already. I research this doctor i'm supposed to see and this surgeon is affiliated with St Catherine's hospital and smithtown surgery center all the way in suffolk county long island how will I get there? I asked a dear friend for the favor should I need to get there. I'm sure they will tell me I have to lose weight as if I don't already know this to find the money and the time to exercise is very difficult when you already have so much on your plate to begin with. One thing I can agree with our president is the healthcare system is very flawed b/c costs are rising and care is declining insurance companies want to treat the patients instead of doctors doctor's who want to get paid by code bundling which means charging for things they didn't do or try to get a higher reimbursement rate which NEVER works but I doubt this new healthcare system is going to help anything just going to make things worse in my opinion b/c no one wants to comply with the new regulations or get the training needed and we have too many people who are studying healthcare professions who don't have what it takes to be in healthcare. These trade schools make so easy to be a medical secretary, coder, assistant, LPN, patient coordinator, etc. it's a total joke and a disgrace. During my visit to the imaging place yesterday there was no respect for HIPPA laws this woman expected me to shout my name and DOB for the whole waiting area to hear same with another patient another patient in excruiating pain walked out when there was an empty wheelchair they could've used it's pathetic but it's also her aide's fault for not advocating for her patient. So on your next visit to a doctor's office or hospital be alert, aggressive and advocate for yourself and your family members b/c if you let the mediocrity of these hospital staff or doctor's office be in charge you will get the bare minimum standard in care and if you're lucky you will be treated with compassion and respect.

On my own two years later

The summer in NYC is always so short and before you know it September is here and it's back to school back to the routines and a sign that the Fall is near. I love autumn in New York the trees look so beautiful as they turn colors the weather gets comfortably cooler and my son was born in the Fall so it's always a special time. This summer was okay I guess I didn't make it to the beach again this year I guess I may still have labor day left and another vacationless summer which is disappointing but next year I'm definitely going to travel. I work very hard between work, bills, jr, the housework my body and mind is screaming for some time off. Everyone deserves a break. This week my son is away at Florida on vacation and it's very quiet when he's not at home lol but I do miss him already even though I know he's having a blast down there in the theme parks and beach. Saturday is my birthday I will be 36 years old and I wish that I was turning 26 or even less at 36 years old while I'm much more mature, wiser, and know what I want but I'm still uncertain as to what direction my life is going. Being a single mother is hard work especially financially and with today's ridiculous cost of living standards I find myself coming up short all the time. I'm just tired of feeling the stress and the pinch all the time and lately I've been experiencing stress and office stupidity at work and I finally reached my boiling point and emailed my manager. I tried to word it very professionally but get my point across as I think I should've done this long ago. A part of me in some way always wants to be the peacemaker at times and sometimes this doesn't always work I've learned with age and experience to "say what's on your mind" everyone else does. What's the worst that I can happen? They get upset well one less xmas card to give out in December @@. I look back on my life as I approach my 36th birthday and I kind of wish I'd have been in a better place financially, marriage wise, have had another child or children but the ugly truth is life doesn't always turn out like you want it to sometimes. This year two years on my birthday my marriage was officially over as I look back on it now I think it was over for a long time but I wanted to make it work or maybe both us just couldn't admit to failure and close the door on it. Now two years later I'm working raising my son learning to be a better cook, better mom, and trying to enjoy life. Being on my own has taught me many lessons good and not so good. I've learned during the hard times who my friends are and whose full of it. I've learned who are real friends and who are glorified acquaintances who just want to stick by when times are good. A true friend is there for you in the good times and the bad, in truimph and defeat. Months past and I got a text from my son's godmother 6 months later after the disagreement I didn't respond back for the first time in years I didn't feel the need or want to. When you get to be a certain age you have no patience for petty bs and mind games I honestly don't I'm 35 going to be 36 saturday and I decided I want to have people in my life who are going to be a positive influence and have something to bring into the friendship. After many disappointments on the dating scene I began talking to a nice guy and we decided to meet on July 20th and we've been inseperable ever since. He is kind loving funny and very helpful and most importantly cares about both me and my son. Jr loves him. We went out as a group to see despicable me 2 and had a good time. For the first time in many years I feel that happiness that has been absent from my life for so long and I feel cared for respected and appreciated and while many people may think it's too soon but we are in love with each other and have plans for our future in the long term. I never thought I'd find a good companion again and I'm happy and life isn't as stressful as it was once. We talk we laugh watch movies I cook for him and actually enjoy doing this and no complaints and criticisms it's a great feeling to be appreciated. I received a letter from my son's school enclosed with a school supplies list which is long indeed and I'm informed that school starts sept 9 and they have a half day and regular session ends at 2:20 pm and this of course puts me in a bind as I get out at 4 pm and I'm sure this inconveniences other working parents as well so now I have to figure out how to juggle this yet again. I read the letter and became a little sad and teary eyed I can't believe jr is starting kindgarten it seems like yesterday he was born and I was bringing him home from the hospital they gave me a school identification tag with his name and class # on it. He will be in a two teacher classroom and the tag had both names on it. I worry about him how he will transition from pre-school to kindergarten but I think he will be okay. This year he will be turning 5 a special birthday we have to plan how we are going to celebrate. On another note my knee has been giving me a lot of pain and discomfort and I saw the orthopedist this week and I need an mri of my right knee and see a surgeon I think I need surgery to repair this issue as my knee locks when I walk or just hurts a lot and of course I worried about how will I get by and I had to research disability coverage. I will file the application but I think a country as sophisticated as ours should be ashamed of themselves as they have some of the worse benefits for american employees, especially when it comes to childcare, family leave, maternity, and disability coverage. Instead of worrying about real things that matters it seems like these politicians are just concerned about getting votes than living up to the smoke they blow into our ears. Well it's after 11 and while there's nothing to do it's back to work as the cubicles have eyes and ears here smh.

flawed healthcare system

Everyone has been at the doctor, urgent care, hospital, etc. at one point in their lives and there's nothing worse than when you're not feeling well to deal with more stupidity that you're not up to doing in the first place. The healthcare system in this country is a freaking joke and I don't even have faith that Obamacare is going to make it easier the more I hear about it it's doing more harm than good no one wants to comply and it's just one big clusterf*** of yet more guidelines, more bs, etc. I've never experienced such incompetence today dealing with the healthcare system as I did today starting with being placed on hold for an eternity as if we have the whole freaking day to be on hold, press this # that # how about an actual human being! Another one is the very rude and unprofessional and unaccommodating staff who run these doctor's offices I've said it's urgent i'm feeling very uncomfortable and all of it falls ON DEAF EARS no appointments available for one month maybe even more, or we don't take your insurance, I waited all day for a call back only to be told to come in tomorrow as if I could wait that long. Instead of what's wrong I get what insurance do you have or "we don't take same day appointments" or urgent care centers who take care of every part of the human body except gynecology yet it's supposed to be a one stop shop for busy people yeah right. Over the weekend I caught an infection and a bad reaction to an over the counter contraceptive and I've been extremely uncomfortable so much that I couldn't focusing on getting my work done too much today. After 7 phone calls to clinics near my area and offices here in the city I GOT NO WHERE. I called the company who makes this product only to be told it's a common reaction and to drink a bunch of water which doesn't do much good when urinating makes me feel like I'm pissing out fire. My doctor's office rather call in a prescription to the pharmacy than see you as an emergency (their next appointment August 24) how the heck do you know what to prescribe when you haven't even seen me??? that's pathetic medical care at best so I think this may be a reason to start shopping for a new gyn pratice but I find many practices are full of it. They overbook patients, not enough flexible hours or appointments it's a joke. Healthcare should be about the care and well being of patients but it's a business and the people who run things have lost focus on the patients and the care. Here I am at almost 4:00 still feeling miserable no prescription no appointment only to have to walk to the emergency room near my job after work b/c trying to get an appointment with a regular doctor's office is just like trying to see Mr. Obama himself and trying to get one who has a great bedside manner is another challenge my last visit to NYU ER I saw these residents they were a total joke. The one who saw me had a horrible bedside manner as I end this blog I'm not looking forward to going back to the same emergency room to wait for 3 hours hopefully much less to get treatment b/c no place else is willing to accommodate me yet insurance doesn't want to cover the visits at times, this system is a total flim flam and a joke. The only I hope to achieve at the end of today is have a diagnosis and a presciption to ease my sysmptoms and get better.

Non guilty verdict

The whole country has awaited the verdict in the Travyon Martin case and as I saw the announcement come up not guilty and an intense of feeling anger but shock came over me when these 6 jurors decided that George Zimmerman was not guilty the last time I checked when you kill another human being you serve jail time but apparently the laws in Florida are very different from the rest of the country. Florida is a wonderful place to visit but I'd never live there b/c their laws are some of these most a** backwards and ridiculous I've ever heard of. You allow someone with NO FORMAL law enforcement training or any other kind of training to be a neighborhood watch person simply b/c the gun laws in Florida are so lax that pretty much anyone can go and apply for a license and have a gun. In my opinion that's a very scary thought that can have disastrous consequences and in these communities were racism is very rampant can have the worse outcome with that being said I am in total disbelief that this individual can literally get away with murdering a young African American 17 year old who was unarmed and does the worse thing shoot someone in the chest. I'm not saying he was angel no teenagers are at that age but how can a harmless trip to the store to buy candy result in murder. I'm wondering what was going through this idiot's mind when he saw him hmm black youth with a hoody instant criminal if that were the case they'd have to shoot up the entire northeast and any other urban neighborhood who wear hoodies. A hoody doesn't make someone a criminal their behavior does. Suppose there was a curfew as they are in many states this young man wasn't doing anything criminal. This man was in a car and had a gun, if he felt he was in so much danger he had the upper hand to speed away and call police and let them handle it but he calls 911 and ignores the 911 operator's instructions and pursues him most gets into a physical altercation and then shoots him in the back for what the world will never know b/c he chose not to take the stand. This is a gross miscarriage of justice this man needs to be in jail he took Trayvon Martin away from his family way too soon his parents will never have the chance to see him grow up and live his life and to lose a child they say a pain that never really goes away. He may not have gotten convicted of any crime in the legal system but in the court of public opinion he will always be guilty and he's marked for life b/c of a split decision he chose to make that changed his life and the life of the Martin family forever. I hope the Martin family will find peace to go on with their lives and his brother's speech in my opinion was a half baked attempt to do damage control for his brother's ridiculously stupid actions. I saw the way he smiled when the verdict was read and I found it to be so disturbing you killed another human being and you got off. Not guilty means they either couldn't prove it or the police and lawyers have a great way of presenting cases so people see their version not the actual truth doesn't mean you didn't do it. I have no respect for this man and he has to live with the fact that he took someone else's life for the rest of his life. I sometimes think they should've had a change of venue for this case perhaps maybe it would've made a difference but based on how I've seen the Florida justice system handle this case, the casey Anthony case, and many others I doubt it very much.

Summer is near

It seems like May just came and flew by it's already May 21st. The weather is getting warmer which is a good thing but sometimes we have so many differences in weather that I wish the climate would make up it's mind. I've been busy with work, my son and just life overall. I got a procedure done to get rid of abnormal cells on the cervix which was no pleasant experience but it had to be done. There are days I'm very tired and lazy don't feel like doing much these past two weekends I've been able to catch up on rest and relax. This month are a lot of birthdays my mother my cousin and my grandfather. My grandfather had a special birthday a milestone actually he turned 80. They had a nice celebration for him and I really wish I could've been a part of that but due to the distance and the lack of finances I could not. I long for the days when I can actually take a vacation (paid) vacation and enjoy myself I haven't taken a vacation since 2011 and I can sure use one but at the rate I'm going I think I will pass another summer here in NY not taking one it's sad but what can I do I have to focus on finding another place and using the funds saved for that. Another issue is up in the air stay here in NY or go to Jersey. I don't want to live Ridgewood but at the same time I have a really hard time affordng the rent and I don't want to leave my mom behind. Jersey may be further away but at least I can have an affordable rent. Another thing is the school system up there is it good better than NYC public schools, it's a lot to investigate and unfortunately I don't have enough time in the bank to make trips up there. This issue I had with HRA really left a bad taste in my mouth as I had to use quite the amount of time to finally get the outcome of being approved for one shot deal. I vow to never have to go to these people again for help. My mother's birthday I got a nice heart shaped carvel cake which we just sang happy birthday and put it back in the freezer until mother's day where we tore into it. Saturday before mother's day I took my mom and my brother to the Outback to celebrate mother's day and my mother's birthday. I haven't eaten there in a while and the food is as delicious as it always is. This is the last month of pre-school for my son it seems like yesterday I was touring the school with him and he started and he has come such a long way since then and i'm sure he's going to miss the teachers and his classmates but I think he's eager to start kindergarten. He always ask me when am I going to PS88? lol. While I'm eager for him to start I'm also concerned b/c the regular school system is very different from the pre-school one. Sadly I applied for the ASD nest program and he wasn't accepted into it but they felt while he's very bright he wasn't at the same level as the other students who had more advanced reading levels, etc. I was disappointed but I want what's best for him and if that's not it for now he has sometime to catch up on his reading math and other subjects. June 7th is his graduation and they're planning to do a show for us which I look forward to seeing he already knows his graduation song by heart. He sounds so adorable singing it. Since my last entry my ex husband announced that he has remarried and while I was surprised it was so soon I knew it would happen eventually while he doesn't know this it just proves to me that this was going on way before he says but who cares at this stage of the game in a weird way it actually does bring me some closure. I worried about if he would bring his new wife to the graduation which of course would be akward and I'd be pissed off but it seems like he has more sense than that one can only hope. I plan to get a graduation cake for jr carvel of course and take him out to chuck e cheese that's if his father doesn't beat me to it lol or find somewhere special we can all go b/c he's achieved a lot and he deserves to be rewarded. I hope this summer I will get to do more and that my feet actually touch the beach this year have to get creative b/c sadly a vacation is out of the question unless a miracle happens this is a side effect of divorce that I really hate and swallow hard. My mother has started physical therapy and while she hates and complains of pain she's going and seems to get around much better than before. In the love department I began talking to someone I stopped talking to for a little while and I really like him a lot but the only thing I see being a challenge is we live in different states. I've been unhappy for too long already and I'd like someone who will be good company where we can enjoy each other's time go out see things. If things are meant to be they will happen I guess but for now it's the same old routine week in week out of working get paid pay bills etc. If I could've hit the power ball *sigh*

Clothing Size, Shape, Weight and what is the norm for today's woman

It’s no wonder that so many of you are scratching your heads and wondering just what are you supposed to be aiming for in this weight and size game. What size is “normal” – what is an average weight anymore? To answer this question, let’s look at some facts. The average starlet is wearing a size 2 or 4 which is the sample size designers are making presently. Today, the average American woman is 5’4″, has a waist size of 34-35 inches and weighs between 140-150 lbs, with a dress size of 12-14. Fifty years ago, the average woman was 5’3-4″ with a waist size of approximately 24-25″, she weighed about 120 lbs and wore a size 8. Curiously, over the past twenty years, fashion model sizes have dropped from a size 8 to 0. Whenever I hear 0 I can’t help but envision an invisible woman. It gets more interesting when you look at changes in women’s bodies and dress sizes dating from the 1950′s. There was actually a uniform sizing system for women’s clothes until the US Department of Commerce dropped it in 1983 noting that the traditional sizes were no longer reflecting the size and shape of the average consumer. Today, in order to cater to women’s vanity, as women have gotten larger, designers have manipulated sizes so that truly larger sizes are marked as smaller. A size 8 in the 1950′s is now a size 4 or less today. Sizing from brand to brand is now so variable that most women fill their closets with at least two or three sizes. I took a piece of this article and I wanted to blog about it b/c my weight is something I've struggled with for a long time. I didn't gain much weight when I was pregnant maybe 6-10 extra pounds and I had terrible morning sickness which did nothing for my appetite when most women gain an extra 25 or more. I have to wonder what's normal I look in stores and on the runway and all of these models are rail thin to the point that some of them look unhealthy being fine boned and petite is one thing looking like a walking skeleton is another. Why do we have such a controversy about weight size etc.? Blame it on society the modeling industry who tells a woman who was a size 6 that she is too fat and sizes like 10 12 are considered plus sizes. Last time I checked Plus sizes were 18-32W. I say we need to focus on health first and remember that everyone's body make up is different some women are curvier than others and this also has a lot to do with diet and culture as well. I admit I like to eat and I need to start cutting back and exercising more but with a demanding schedule of a full time job raising a 4 yr old as a single mom I don't always have the luxury of spending 3 hours at the gym. An ob-gyn told me once I had to drop 50 lbs and go to the gym which I thought was very crass and rude that was back in 09 and yes I had gained a lot of weight jr had just turned one and same hectic schedule but I figured if you can sign me up and pay for my childcare I'd be happy to go and get fit as a fiddle if you say that to someone it would shut them up instantly. I admit sometimes I'm self conscious about my body and yes I could lose some weight and I wish I had flatter abs but I also like my curves and don't want to look like a skeleton even if I lost the weight I needed to. Eating like a bird just to be on the cover of a magazine isn't what should be encouraged these days a healthy diet eating everything in moderation, cardio like zumba, boot camp, etc. some strength training if you are up to it. yes but depriving yourself NOPE. I look in the mirror and yes I'm not even close to model standard size lol I know I'd be considered plus size and on that stupid scale of BMI I'd be considered obese which is a freaking joke but I have to be proud of my body and realize it's not all about body image it's about who we are as people and what are the positives and how we can contribute to society because just because someone is pretty on the outside doesn't make them a good person on the inside. I'd rather carry around a few extra pounds and be intelligent and have something to bring to the table and then be a size 0-4 and the only thing I have going for me is my looks. Self-respect and intelligence are beautiful things. Clothing companies need to get real and start making clothes to flatter everybody and true to size. One thing I can say fifty years ago up to about 20 yrs ago you bought a size 8 and it fit . No guessing game no buying two or three different brands. Jeans had enough stretch in them to be comfortable yet flattering. Now it's what size am I in this brand? I've went to old navy and got a size 12 jeans they're tight got a 14 too baggy it's ridiculous frustrated returned them. Got target jeans fit 1 size 10 perfect fit and $10 cheaper and 3% stretch stretch makes all the difference. So I've given up on old navy jeans for now until they change the material percentages. Companies need to make clothing for real women with real bodies not a bunch of thin bobble headed models with rail thin bodies and fake tits to match with a celery stick and carrot appetite yes Victoria Secret I'm referring to you. Curvy women are entitled to be sexy and desirable for ourselves and our men so get with the program and start designing a plus size line or make your large fit like large instead of medium they don't realize that they could make millions attracting this new market of clothing and add tons of people to their customer base by doing so I plan to write to them to pitch the idea. Some have physical beauty or others have inner beauty some a combination of both. I think we can tackle the obesity problem in this country by reinstating physical education in our schools, changing the menu at public schools if you saw some of the slop they service NYC school children you'd be infuriated that they can't do better and get your kids off the couch, off the tablet, laptop and TV and get them to MOVE and restrict the munchies and COOK actual food I know it's a far fetched idea with the hectic schedules of today driving though a drive thru is tempting almost everyday but think about the long term effects and get them bikes and take them to the park. The more they move expend energy and eat right the healthier they will be and making it a FAMILY effort helps too.

Woman, animals taken from squalid home - New York News | NYC Breaking News

Woman, animals taken from squalid home - New York News | NYC Breaking News

This is a sad story but one that makes me angry at the same time.  This woman who is obviously mentally disturbed was living in squalor along with a lot of animals in a home that was condemned by the department of health in 2011.  How was this person allowed to reenter this home after it was condemned to be a squatter and living in filth with no utilities?  There's really something wrong with this system and I've heard of many people squatting in the city these days.  It's a sign that there's not enough being done to help people but I also think animal shelters should keep track of how many adoptions they do b/c many people are NOT SUITABLE owners to have a pet, like a child they require love nuturing medical care food not to be forced to live like this and get sick and sometimes pass away.  I also think animal facilities should start neutering and spaying animals to be adopted this would also keep the pet population down.  If these neighbors were so concerned why didn't they call the health department and Adult Protective Services on this woman and maybe she could have been removed along with these animals and given the professional help she needs.  No one wants to get involved until things get to this point or it lands them 5 minutes of fame on a news broadcast.  I hope they're able to save the animals as I'm a loving responsible owner to my cat phoebe who we got from north shore back in 2004 and give her the social services and help she needs. 

Pro photographers in the delivery room - New York News | NYC Breaking News

Pro photographers in the delivery room - New York News | NYC Breaking News

ok I've heard of people wanting to make a family affair out of things like a wedding, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. but an audience in the delivery room when you're giving birth????????? What the hell has this world come to? We have lost our minds and the meaning of the word privacy.  No one knows how to keep their mouths shut and we have social media and other technology to help ease this stupidity along and now people wanting to hire photographers to film the birth and inviting family members?  I'm sorry but these people are crazy and stupid.  Save that money for his baby pictures or a college fund for the child.  This lady says when you're in that moment you don't get to enoy the experience uh HELLOOOOO you're in pain and trying to bring into the world a precious little baby and trying to get something the size of a watermelon out through the opening the size of a lemon is something I wouldn't want to recapture on film or would wan't ANY of my family or close friends seeing me spread eagled birthing a child but I guess to each is own. 

'Ice cream assault' on Long Island - New York News | NYC Breaking News

'Ice cream assault' on Long Island - New York News | NYC Breaking News

It really boggles my mind when I hear stories like this happen.  A man goes into a Carvel Store which I happen to love their icecream even though it is a bit overpriced,  with a free coupon for a icecream cone and it was expired is this an annoying experience sure is it's happened to me and most of us but I'd doubt I'd take it to these extremes.  He is annoyed by the clerk telling him it's expired and he has to pay $3.50 for the cone and honestly I think that is a rip off for a cone these days I paid $3.00 in manhattan last weekend from the mr softee truck in some supermarkets you can get a half gallon of ice cream on sale for that anyways he refuses to pay and the clerk instead of just calling her boss plus the police she decides to be a hero and follow him outside and he assaults her by punching her several times in the face injuring her.  The police eventually showed up and he resisted arrest and I have to wonder all of this drama over a freaking icecream cone seriously? I doubt Carvel was going to go bankrupt from $3.50 and if she saw this man was irrational she could've made an exception accepted the coupon and gotten rid of the lunatic and saved herself a lot of physical and mental pain yet I do understand her reasoning that it was expired but honestly you don't get paid enough to risk your life and safety over principle in my opinion.  He obviously has some issues that go way deeper than the icecream cone.  It just goes to show you that you never know what can happen in a day's work or what kind of kooks will stroll into any business.  He is where he needs to be right now in jail.

Jimmy for mayor

Jimmy for mayor: Jimmy McMillan is running for mayor.

I remember this guy and I thought he was hilarious but you know what he's got a point. The rent is too damn high.  It is very expensive to live in NYC these days and no rent in my opinion should be the cost of an average mortgage payment especially when you're never going to own it.  Do costs rise yes they do but why should I have to pay off someone's mortgage or some greedy building owner's ridiculous costs?  Rent is eating up at least half of people's salaries these days and something has to be done about creating more affordable housing that is accessible to New Yorkers.  The affordable housing options these days are ridiculous they're not in sync with today's cost of living and rent prices.  Everything is going up but your paycheck.  Gentification doesn't help this and I'm totally against it and I see a little bit of it neighboring brooklyn and in some parts of Queens.  No one should be priced out of their neighborhood if those hipsters want to live nice let them stay in the city or Brooklyn Heights but don't price out working class people out of neighborhoods where sometimes people have live for many years and are also elderly and can't afford to live any place else.   I was almost evicted twice once when me and my ex were still together and now that I'm on my own with my son.  It's an embarrasing and demoralizing experience to ask social services for help and it took me months to finally get approved for a one shot deal to cover my back rent b/c with a rent of 1,263 per month plus utilities food phone babysitting, etc. 30,000 is a year just not enough these days.  I don't want to hear budget better if I cut out anything else I will be without a TV and a kerosene lamp and it's ridiculous plus TV is a single parent's saving grace sometimes especially when you need to make some dinner or get things done around the house. This is why I have considered moving to New Jersey where the rents are much lower and affordable b/c I'm tired of struggling with these outrageous prices and apartments that aren't even worth the ridiculous prices they're charging not freshly painted clean and renovated.  I live in a 3 floor tenement building that's in desperate need of renovations and this man still has the nerve to charge these ridiculous rents.  They also make me laugh with jobs with a living wage 9, 10 an hr? really here in NYC where a studio can run 1,000 a month is some places it's stupid and unrealisitic I say let these stupid officials try to live off the stupidity they want to enforce the working class people to do and see if they make it I doubt they'd be so lucky. 

weekend routine

This weekend was like most cleaning organizing running errands and doing laundry. I don't know anyone who likes to do laundry or even more when you live in a urban city like NYC and have to go to the laundromat outside dragging a cart down a flight of stairs isn't easy it's gotten to the point that I don't even stay to dry anymore b/c I really don't feel like spending 2 or 3 hours in a laundromat especially on a sunday when it's crowded so I dropped off my towels sheets etc. in drop off service one less thing for me to do. Yesterday I went to myrtle avenue as I usually do with jr on the weekends to take him for lunch and it seems like there's always some drama going on at this mcdonald's either it's very crowded the line for bathroom is too long and they're always out of something yesterday a women comes in with a fake $20 bill and is furious b/c they won't give her money back and accused the cashier of trying to pocket it @@ what would she want with a fake $20 I'd take it back to the bank or check cashing place but once you give to a merchant or store they confiscate it. After eating I went to deal$ with my son to pick up a few things I should own stock in the company I go there so much. After the store we walked back toward the neighborhood and I let my son run around and play in the park while I sit and relax but my eyes are always looking to see what he's up to and sadly b/c he's on the autism spectrum there are many people who don't understand and aren't very nice to him and that gets me very angry at times. He likes to play with kids but sometimes kids don't want to play with him and he doesn't understand. Yesterday I saw this kid push my son and I felt like getting up and slamming him right into the monkey bars yes I know it's an extreme reaction but I'm very overprotective of my son b/c of his condition. I didn't of course but I yelled across the park " Don't even think about pushing him". Which makes me think where are the parents of these children? They come to the park and they're not even paying attention to what their kids are doing. I would never allow my son to push another child not only b/c it's wrong but b/c I don't want to get into any confrontations with other parents who'd be understandbly upset. I then told him it's time to go home time is up as I usually set my cell phone alarm to alert him it's time to go home. I think he needed to get away from that situation and I had dinner and laundry waiting to be hanged up. I came home relaxed a little read my cook book to get more ideas for the weekly dinner and eventually I started cooking dinner. I made steak and onions and it came out pretty good I just should've done it over night it usually tastes better as it marinates longer it takes a few tries to really perfect a recipe at times. On thursday I reapplied for rental assistance once again bad is when you already know the routine at these places hoping that I will be approved this time. I thought I'd be there all day but I wasn't there that long and I was able to work a half day. After we ate I sure didn't feel like doing the dishes so there they stayed I'll get to them today. I've gotten to the point where I've cut back I don't mop my entire apartment in one day like I used to I mop every other week only thing I do weekly is clean kitchen bathrooms mop them change sheets and laundry. I gave jr his bath put him to bed and made sure he stood sleeping in his bed and he actually did I'm really trying to ween him off staying in my bed and many a time I've had to carry him to bed and he's heavy 41 lbs to be exact. I winded up falling asleep on the couch and forgot to see my alarm so we rushed out the house and missed the first bus. I also missed my connecting bus but it's monday and I wasn't going to stress myself out got my morning coffee which I desperately needed hazenut dunkin donuts to get myself awake and going. I still managed to make it to work on time today is the pot luck at work and I'm not even participating with everything I had to do I forgot so i guess there's always next yr or another occassion. After giving it some thought I decided to end contact with the guy I was talking to for a while from out of state I just got tired of always being the one to initiate contact. It's sad b/c I really liked him and I really thought we could've had something good but I'm not going to be chasing anyone. I understood he had been sick but everytime I've called I get a busy signal or I'm sent to voicemail. Two times I've been on fb chat and he's signed off when I IM him so that was the last straw for me, that's just plain rude so I'm done. If I ever do hear from him I will just say hello but I doubt it. This is why I don't think I can do the long distance thing b/c I admit I can be an attention whore and can be jealous not to the extent of fatal attraction but I acknoweledge my traits so this wouldn't work for me. I decided to reopen my zoosk account after months of it being closed but it's simply just to look and browse only right now I'm just focusing on jr myself and my move which by the looks of things I've still been looking for a place in NY here in the same area or another but still nothing under 1300-1400 a month which I think is high way robbery b/c some of these apartments are in desperate need of renovation and modernization so moving to New Jersey is still an option. Well it's monday another work week begins but at least it's pay week I will treat myself this week to a much needed pedicure and trim on my hair.

daily routine and the road ahead

Lately it's been work pay bills come home change into pjs food homework cartoons bath stories bed. I watch tv for a little while but most of the time I wind up dozing off on the couch. As soon as I think I've paid all the bills and I'm up to date before I know I see them right away again in my mailbox or have a friendly text reminder which can be annoying at times. Yes I know I owe it, just don't have it at the moment. I'm thinking of getting rid of my house and internet service I switched to Clear internet and Verizon phone service is costing too much money and their billing department are a bunch of incompetent morons. Too many taxes fees and surchages so this so called discount bundle you're paying for winds up to be one big rip off. I've been debating whether to stay living here in NY or move to New Jersey b/c I'm really having a hard time affording this apartment but I also don't know what school program my son will be accepted into September so the search continues. Yesterday I got the official divorce judgement so it is official I'm divorced and I can change my married name back to my maiden name if I choose to. The chapter is officially closed and I can get on with my life. It seems like everything was getting in the way of this document showing up but when I read it I couldn't believe what a sloppy piece of paper it was and I couldn't believe this is what took almost 2 yrs to draft the NYC court system should be ashamed of themselves. On another note I received some bad news yet again this case worker from social services rejected my case again and I don't even understand why I submitted all my paperwork complied with all I'm just fed up with the incompetence of social workers and the bureaucracy that exists in NYC social service system. I've lost days over all of this crap and b/c of it I pretty much will go through summer 2013 without a break or vacation which is so unfair to me b/c I've hadn't a vacation since 2011 I could sure use one. I'm mentally and emotionally drained at this point so I must gather up all of my paperwork again and reapply for services for If I am rejected I am just going to apply for a fair hearing and have a judge review my case I'm thinking maybe I should've done this all along it would've saved me a whole lot of leg work and aggravation. I have to ask myself if things will eventually start looking up for me instead of the stress and aggravation I have right now there never seems to be enough to cover all expenses and I've given up on the gym for now b/c all I have no time especially now that my son goes to the babysitter I have to pick him up by a certain time and forget the weekends unless it's a free weekend which most times I sleep in and relax. Next month will be my mother's birthday and my grandfather's birthday he will be 80 yrs old this year and they're doing a celebration for him in FL but sadly I will not be able to attend b/c of time used up dealing with a broken system and finances are tied away for moving expenses it's sad b/c this is a milestone we should've all been able to be around to celebrate. I will send him a nice card and I was thinking of getting a nice plaque made we will see what I can come up with. Jr graduation package came last week and his graduation will be on June 7th. It's been a long road but he has come a long way and improved a lot. He has made a lot of friends too it will be nice to see him graduate and for all of the students to put on a show for us. He is looking forward to starting kindergarten in september and I look forward to seeing him progress and go even further. Time flies by so fast it seemed like yesterday he was a baby then 2.5 starting the pre-school and now graduating from there. Time flies and waits for no one. Tomorrow I will try one last time to reapply for services and hope I get approved or I will have to request a hearing and get an attorney.

Boston Marathon Tragedy

The NY Marathon went off without anything happening sadly the Boston Marathon particpants and spectators weren't so lucky. Bombs went off killing 3 people and injuring many more. One of the casualties was an 8 yr old boy who was trying to get the message of peace across my heart goes out to his family and the many others who are hurt some will heal others have life time injuries that will not. People think that an incident like 9/11 can't happen again well no one should have that false sense of security because it sure can happen. Would we better prepared for it than back in 2001 yes but it doesn't mean that we wouldn't have a battle ahead of us. This marathon was on a nice sunny day and no one imagined what these group of cowards had planned that day to inflict bombing and cause all of this pain and suffering. Your group whom ever you are a bunch of cowards you think that by doing this you're going to scare people and make them prisioners in their own home so we can't continue on with our daily lives. You're such a bunch of cowards you haven't even claimed responsiblity for your evil actions but with the efforts of our gov't we will found out who you are and make you pay for what you did to the city of Boston and it's people. I work in lower manhattan and I am constantly reminded of 9/11 and what the old world trade center looked like I used to sit there and eat a hotdog from the truck on a nice spring or summer day or go browse the shopping concourse. Do I think they should've rebuilded there nope. I think they should've kept it a memorial place but they're rebuilding and just as high which to me is a death trap especially when having to evacuate in case of an fire or attacks. When I get on the train every morning I say an internal prayer that I will get into the city safe and sound and back home the same. I went off topic here but I'm very sad and angry that this tragedy had to occur like this. It proves to us that there is so sense of safeness anymore and every major event will need top notch security police and military depending on the event but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Prayers to all the families and the city of Boston

it's been a while

It's been a while since I've posted a blog and I've even considered shutting it down b/c I barely have time to blog or the energy at times. I've also noticed most people don't blog or have left to other sites. These past few months have been a long and difficult road and I have to wonder at times when will things actually start to look up for me for once. It has been 3 months since me and my son's god mother have spoken after the falling out we had and I've come to realize that she feels she did nothing wrong and I disagree but I'm not going to sweat it no more as time passes by I have less patience to deal with other people's bs and "friend" to me is a word you should be careful who you give the title to b/c you will know who your friends are when you're in a bind. I found out that day and life goes on. I can't believe the level of incompetence I've dealt with at the city level and with the court system my divorce was further delayed b/c of a mix up with someone with the same last name and secretary's stupidity having to submit a notarized affidavit I get an email saying that it's FINAL at last I don't think I will believe it until I received the signed judgment in the mail at this point. I have lost all respect for city agencies such as NYC Human Resources Admin a.k.a social services I took my case to the deputy commissioner hoping to recieve some help wtih my case only to be given the run around and more nonsense to boot. After having to take days off I made one last attempt to get assistance on friday I went and applied for the last time and this time around I actually had professional and competent people to deal with. I felt a sense of relief and optimism until I spoke to my landlord's attorney and another bunch of people I can't stand are lawyers they're full of crap and hot air and this lawyer my landlord has I think got his law degree out of a cracker jack box b/c he tells his client that a lease with my ex husband's name crossed out is a valid lease well it's not which is why my case was rejected. Now I'm determined to get a new lease and was told he doesn't have to provide one b/c if he did it would extend the time I'm there and believe the sooner this is settled the sooner I get out of there. All of my hopes of taking a vacation are out the window with the time I've used and it's very discouraging at times b/c I could sure use a break. My mother finally got her surgery on March 13th and it was very hard seeing her in pain unable to move and it's still hard although now she's walking better w/o the help of a walker. She is due to get her staples removed today and I hope it won't be too painful for her. She can't reach bend or do much I'm also hoping that this surgery will help her in the long run. I think the physical therapy will be the most challenging but it is needed so she can rebuild her strength again. The dating scene for me has been non existent no one has caught my eye at all lately I realize that sometimes it's better to just be alone and let things find you. I've had a lot of bad experiences that have left me with a bad taste in my mouth. It seems like there is no such thing as a real decent guy these days. There is one guy who may be a potential candidate but due to the fact that he lives in another state it's a challenge and not sure if that's something I'm willing to commit to so we will see where it goes. He must be a potential good catch if he actually inspires my lazy a** to improve my cooking and learn some dominican dishes b/c I rarely cook. I always make sure jr eats though. This weekend was my first free weekend in a long time and it felt good to get some rest and have a break but it's going to have to be more frequent as breaks help ease the stress i feel and I get a lot accomplished. I can't even remember the last tme I went to the gym and that's bad and it doesn't help that I'm an emotional eater and I looked at the mirror and don't like what I see I've gained back a lot of weight to the point even some of my jeans are getting tighter when I am currently wearing 10-12 maybe may need a 14 we will soon see I also notice some of the cut of the jeans are ridiculously small how am I size 10 in brand a 12 in another and a 14 in mid rise jeans no one makes jeans the good old fashioned way anymore with a good amount of stretch and regular waist. When you've gained some and have a little muffin top skinny jeans and other lower waists just don't look good. I need to start exercising again and stop making excuses for myself. I'd like to be able to fit into the size 8 jeans I put away in storage so I need to get my lazy butt cracking. On another I went to Jersey City this weekend and I don't think it is somewhere I'd move with jr so I'm sort of rethinking the move to New Jersey unless it is a way better neighborhood with a good school district. I don't want a high crime area or to deal with trash I guess I've gotten spoiled and used to where I'm at now so I have to do more research but there is nothing like seeing things in person which is why I never take these craigs list ads too seriously b/c nothing is what it seems and photo shop can do wonders. Well it's time to start work it's only tuesday and I wish friday was near.