downtime at last

It's Sunday night and I finally have some downtime I'm watching American dad I was watching family guy etc it feels good to watch adult programming b/c I was on spongebob and cartoon overload sad part is these past few weekends have been hectic and I don't get a break on the wknds and before u know its Monday and time to start another work week and I feel tired. This wknd was like most cleaning and doing things I can't do during the week. Between both days Jr drove me crazy if it wasn't me cleaning up spills or thrown food it was other stuff dealing with a toddler isn't easy and sometimes I lose my patience today I decided to take him to McDonald's as I promised him and today it was
93 no way I was walking in the heat took the train going and returning home I got a few things in the store went to the park dropped off my bags and off to the laundromat to wash the stuff from the beach and a few.other things it felt good to come home after all of this running around tomorrow is zumba day for me which I look fwd to have some time for myself. This is my last week before my vacation and I sure hope this week goes fast b/c I seriously need a break. I have to start thinking about what I'm packing and try not to overpack stuff. It felt good to wash my hair I wanted to see what the new cut looked like and its ok nothing over the top kind of miss my long hair I cut 4 inches off but my ends were dry and I wanted to try a new style its going to take me a while to get used to it but I think i'd like the long layers etc if it was longer. She said to come in 6-8 wks for a trim but I think I want to wait till it grows a little longer to see how it looks. On another note I'm kind of sick of hearing about this debt ceiling thing both parties are irresponsible and needed to make sure this wouldn't even be an issue I just heard they reached some deal I'm sure it has alot of cuts etc. It's 10:00 and I'm exhausted don't even think I will make it through fox news @10 but I will try.

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Friday at last

Hooray TGIF it's here at last.  Today is one of those rainy humid days that I hate and I sure didn't feel like getting out of bed and jr doesn't help with his morning tantrums.  This week has been long and tiring and tomorrow we're back in the 90's again *sigh*.   This week I went to the gym twice and I always say I will go at lunch, etc. but sometimes I get caught up with other errands or just don't go.  I really want to start working on my abs b/c it seems like I'm losing weight in the other areas the pants I have on today are very loose even with a belt on.  As far as my weight loss goes I haven't lost or haven't gained any of it back so that's good I guess but I'd like to start losing more and he tells me to go see the nutritionist and I'm sure she will tell me to stop eating everything I eat and I really don't want to feel deprived of anything and yes sweets are my weakness which is why I eat frozen yogurt or dannon yogurts.  Wednesday and Thursday were back to back therapy sessions.  Wednesday was our first session with the counselor and I wrote down a list of issues I had with him and I'm glad I did that b/c I was able to express myself a lot better than I would have had I not done that. While I didn't read everything off the list I'm sure we will talk about the rest of the things at the next session she seems very nice and wanting to help us communicate better.  This is something I need to do not only for the relationship but for myself.  I need to start communicating and not holding things back this is something I spoke about in therapy yesterday and while I don't like to blame people my mother holds back a lot of things and expects me to do the same and I'm not doing that anymore.  I got pissed off b/c I found out that the person who had planned to pick up me and jr at the airport probably wouldn't and tells my mother expecting her to relay the msg to me and I'm wtf I'm an adult with my own cell and e-mail and this is short notice before I travel so I sent her an e-mail and she says I was rude and I thought "rude" wth? Sometimes ppl don't like when you tell them how you feel or what you don't like etc.  I even had the therapist read the msg just to get a professional opinion and she says I wasn't disrespectful I could've worded things differently but I was just pissed off and tired of dealing with the same family drama as always there's no communication or organization and while it's squashed I feel good for telling them how I felt about something even if the outcome wasn't that great. No one ever has held back when they've had something to tell me I try to be respectful with people but sometimes it's not that simple.  On another note I can't wait for my vacation to come already seems like this month of July has dragged on May and June flew by so fast.  I need a break to just relax and get away from this fast paced city life, etc.  etc.  One week left I'm hoping that my trip will be uneventful and there will be no bs to deal with at the TSA lines.  I've become sort of weary of the TSA since I hear so many outrageous stories of what they've done to some passengers at the airport.  I'm also hoping that jr will behave on the plane well as well as he can anyway.  Next week will be pretty busy deciding what to pack, getting my nails and hair done, packing carry on with snacks books and stuff for jr.  and it's going to be weird not going with him and I know jr is going to be sad that his father will not be going with us and a part of me is too but this is a choice he made and one he's going to have to deal with.  I think he made that choice out of anger and whatever other feels he had and still has but there's consequences to every thing and choice we make.  This may be the last trip I make to FL for a while since my mother is moving back to NY and she may be here by October.  This isn't going to be an easy transition for her but I'm glad she will be back here at least she will be able to see her grandson often and hopefully things will turn around for the better.  The one week countdown to vacation has begun.  Hurry up August 8th.

McDonald's To Change Happy Meals

McDonald's To Change Happy Meals

I read this article about mcdonald's making changes to the Happy Meals first article I read about this was from some idiot congressman who thought taking away the toys from the happy meals was a good idea. It's a  happy meal the toys are usually what kids look for and are usually in theme with whatever cartoon movie or movie that's out.  I had plenty of happy meals as a kid I loved them and I'm here now so why the change I guess it's b/c the obesity rate is out of control.  I don't think they should change the happy meals at all I think parents and people overall need to start taking responsibility for their health and their crappy eating habits.  Society has become very lazy and b/c everyone working full time and late hours everyone is looking for the easiest fastest option and many times it's going through that drive through window and add to the fact that the eating is late at night so there's no time to burn off the food or no physical education classes in school to burn off the extra calories taken in so they pack on the pounds.  A child is not going to miss what they don't eat.  My son loves Mcdonald's he's only 2.5 and he loves the commercials and can spot the golden arch a mile away and start saying "yeah" mcdonalds but that's a treat he gets once in a while.  Parents need to start giving healthier options for their kids, portion control is another issue.  Lowering the portions but not lowering the price of their foods defeats the purpose in my opinion.  I think with everything having the calories and nutritional information should enough of a wake up call for parents these days.  Should they have healthier options of course they should but most of their food isn't considered healthy.  I think the healthiest breakfast sandwich they have is the Egg McMuffin and the grilled chicken sandwich on a roll the rest of it is sky high another low cal thing may be fruit oatmeal and fruit parfait if you can get your kid to eat these options great but most kids look for the fries nuggies and burgers b/c that's just how kids are.  Everything in moderation is okay in my opinion at least.  One trip to Mcdonald's once in a while isn't going to hurt your kid or make the obesity epidemic go up. 

Peninsula Hospital in Queens May Close

Peninsula Hospital in Queens May Close

Why do these people keep hurting the borough of Queens several years ago they closed St Johns Queens, Mary Immaculate, and a few other hospitals hurting the people who live in these areas and depended on these hospitals and now they either have to go to Elmhurst or North Shore or Jamaica Hospital and having gone to North Shore ER in 09 when jr was sick I saw the effects an overcrowded ER staff that is overworked and overwhelmed with a high volume of patients.   Sometimes the community hospitals are all the people have if someone doesn't have a car or can't afford a cab this can become a major problem.  Having been to Rockaway Beach this weekend I passed by Penninsula Hospital and it is the only hospital that the residents of Far Rockaway have if they need medical attention every other option is way too far and closing this hospital down will inconvenience them and it can also be life threatening in the event someone has a real medical emergency like a heart attack or anything else.  How much more incompetence do we have to pay for??? If Medisys health network was able to step and rescue Flushing Hospital they can rescue Penninsula Hospital it will be a win win for both of them and most importantly the residents of Far Rockaway will have access to the medical care we all deserve to have and close to home.  Employees will also be able to preserve their jobs something that is very hard to come by in today's economy.  Closing this hospital would have a disastrous effect on this community, the economy, and add to the already millions out of work and actively looking for work.  Hoping that they come to a solution that will benefit everyone involved.

MTA Budget To Be Unveiled Wednesday

MTA Budget To Be Unveiled Wednesday

Here's another slap in the face to the subway and bus riders of this city we won't be facing a fare hike this yr but will in 2013 and 2015.  I think it's ridiculous MTA is always crying poor all the time and as far as service goes they fall way short of the mark for the price we pay.  How about bringing back the fun pass? $104 for a monthly metro card is ridiculous in my opinion considering the service and the conditions of some of these subways and buses.  They just revealed a new fleet of express buses did anyone ever stop to think where they got the money for that yet they can't keep token both agents employed who not only sell metro cards but can assist with other things such as emergencies, etc.  Elevators are another issue not enough elevators in some train stations so if you have a stroller good luck or no token clerk good luck in getting buzzed in for service exit since it didn't occur to them to just leave the door open.  They recently talked about fare evasion and how kids crawl under subway turnstiles no **** sherlock who's going to stop them no token clerk or cops around and with the crappy economy and tight budgets some ppl have no choice. They think that a sign posting a height requirement is going to stop this problem yeah ook there.  This budget should be interesting and the funny thing is they'd actually have community mtgs and pretend they gave a **** about the riders they could save a lot of money by stop having a bunch of overpaid useless ppl on their boards who don't even ride the subways and with all of that extra cash could restore the V, W, turn the M back to brown and restore that route and restore buses but they're greedy and incompetent. 

Major Water Main Break In The Bronx

Major Water Main Break In The Bronx

I feel for the people in this area who had to encounter this horrible experience it cripples everything in the area the mass transit the ability to use the water in your home.  I think that it has to do with old pipes and plumbing systems that the city takes forever to update and replace.  I clearly remember the water main break that happened right here in Manhattan years back in 99 or 00 where tons of subway lines were crippled a ride that takes 40 minutes took me over and hour a half I actually had to take a bus to work  and got to work at 11 am working only a few hours.  I sure hope they clean up the water and fix the problem soon so that the people in the community can have things back to normal again.  #4 riders were probably furious can't say I blame them let's hope that their line is restored and running again. 

Metro - Temps, tempers flare at city pools

Metro - Temps, tempers flare at city pools

I know everyone is looking for relief from the heat especially this past heat wave which crippled our power sources and just made everyone miserable but seriously starting fights at the community pools? this is ridiculous no one should feel like they or their kids aren't safe at the community pools there is not enough security and there should be police patrolling these areas.  Some of the pools mentioned in this article aren't in the best areas of town and there's a certain mentality that goes with the territory it ruins a good thing for the people to whom this pools is a only way of relief from the heat or just wanting to enjoy some time with their families.  Assaulting a life guard is inexcusable and I'm glad that the person responsible got arrested, these life guards don't get paid much as it is and you mean to tell me that they can't even be guaranteed protection while doing their job! There's something wrong with this picture.  If people want to act like ghetto trash animals than they should be expected to be treated like animals.  Don't complain how do you and your community doesn't have resources, etc. etc. and than behave like an animal at the few resources they do have it gives a bad name to your community and to this city.   Ghetto is not where you live it's a state of mind.  This is the main reason why I stay away from these city pools b/c as messed up as it sounds I know the frame of mind of some of the people who go there and I'm not looking for a fight I'm looking for a good time for me and my child.  You know there's no security if someone can walk in with a switchblade and slash someone so I think they should have metal detectors and people searching the bags and people going in if people knew how to act they wouldn't have to do that.  I also think that they should implement a 3 strikes you're out rule if you're a troublemaker and start fights, etc.  you should be banned from the pools.  I'd rather pay the extra money and go somewhere in a better neighborhood and even then you're not guaranteed that trash will not show up there either.  I went to FDR park and it's a big park in Upper Westchester with a huge olympic size pool but sadly there's a lot of garbage that goes up there which takes the fun out of it I went there last summer with my husband friend and my son and I got accused of hitting someone's kid and some b* came up to me talking smack and I was shocked b/c I NEVER saw her kid in my life and I'd NEVER touch someone else's kid no matter what they did.  I quickly told her off and said I didn't touch her child and how was her kid certain it was ME who did it when the pool was packed.  That was enough for me NOT to want to return there.  I'm not about starting trouble, fights, etc. I'm the opposite if I see something brewing I will get out ASAP however if you mess with my son,etc. that's a different story.  Sad that we have to think twice before we go out to places with our families simply b/c there are people out there who don't know how to act. 

A Day at the beach

This weekend I went to the beach went jr and a relative.  It felt good to get a break to the usual mundane weekend routine of running errands paying bills housework, etc.  We went to Rockaway Beach I usually prefer Jones Beach b/c it is nicer and there is a pool for those of us who hate to try and get sand out of towels clothes and every orfice of your body however the pool does get to capacity fast so you have to show up early! Another thing that is sort of a turn off is their fee to get into the park has gone up yet again last summer it was $8 vehicle now it's $10 pretty soon it's going to get to the point where you can't afford to even to go to their beaches, etc.  very sad these days that everything seems to be going up and out of reach to working families.  Rockaway Beach provided you stay in the 116 and up area is a less expensive option you can get there by train bus and car is a $3.25 total each way still saving you $3.50.  There are also lots of inexpensive eating options and discount stores for that last minute purchase of batteries, sand toys for kids, etc.  The sand was extremely hot due to 101 degree temprature but at the beach it didn't even feel that hot due to the shore and wind so thank goodness for water shoes.  We found our spot on beach and ate our sandwiches I made sure I put plenty of sunblock on myself in order to avoid the horrible sunburn I got last time and of course on jr.   I tried to get jr to go to the water and he refused 3 times from one summer to the next he's afraid of the water last year he was a little fish we're still trying to break the fear out of it I think he does better at pools at the beach he plays in the sand most of the time.  I went to the water and it felt great very good to cool off but the tide was very rough and I got knocked down three times and due to the rough tide and waves there were also some forgettable swimsuit malfunctions.  There was this woman who boob popped right out of her halter bathingsuit.  A trip to the beach also previews some rather forgettable sights especially when it comes to swimwear.  Here's a few:  If you are a bigger than C cup don't try to pull off a triangle top bikini or halter bathing suit, We really don't need to see your girls bouncing all over the place if gravity has taken over COVER it up.  If you're over 50+ DON'T wear a bikini AT ALL.  If you're pregnant a string bikini doesn't make you look cute it makes you look an idiot they sell maternity suits buy one or wear a tank top.  If you have a muffin top a long tankini or one piece is a better option for you.  Ladies it's called a razor or bikini wax at your local nail salon feel free to do either.  Men don't wear speedos if you don't look like Brad Pitt or (insert any other hottie's name) here or wear tightie whities to the beach and swim in the water (barf)  Trunks look good on EVERYONE.  Please cover up your beer bellies and man boobs.  Groom your feet no one wants to see nasty crusty feet on the beach.  Finally Just b/c they make it in your size doesn't mean you need to buy it and wear it! There's are just a few minor observations but overall I had a great time at the beach we had some icecream from the boardwalk food place and chilled out till about almost 8:00 pm.  An interesting end to my day was when a seagull decided to drop a dump on my coach bag I almost had a coronary very expensive gift but we were able to clean it up fast so I'm expecting to see a lot of good luck come my way.  I look forward to my next visit to the beach or pool as we're getting a break from the heat for the beginning of this week but we will rise right back into the 90's by the end of the week. Today will be 84 degrees that's a welcome relief from the 100+ temps we had these past few days.  After a while the heat makes you feel lazy, short tempered and I hate the power issues we get due to our power company not getting with the program and updating the grids you'd think a city this size would have the best power grids. I guess not.

Meeting Update

I'm trying to stay cool with a level head in this weather which isn't always easy and yesterday we went to the mtg to determine what services jr would maintain and I have to say that my first visit to the Early Intervention Office was very disappointing and the overall experience with Early Intervention.   I've had never dealt with such incompetence in my life and this type of incompetence is very scary b/c this office services over 7,000 kids in the county of Queens alone.  I was told that they were missing paperwork from the previous mtg and the OT deemed him "age appropriate" with occupational therapy which I thought was ridiculous considering she told me something completely different so he won't receive any more services for that and we expressed concerns about his ability to stay still and follow instructions and she explains that he still had some signifcant delays but CPSE standards are different another thing I found out is that they didn't have any positive remarks about the psychologist who evaluated my son and I was told that he's known to be "conservative" with approving services, etc. and that made my blood boil b/c who the heck do you think you are to be "conservative" as if it's coming out of your pocket to help mine or anyone's child so now I'm even doubting that he was properly evaluated.   The speaker at the mtg seemed very professional and willing to help and our new service coordinator seems like she's got her stuff together but I sure wish that I would've gotten this from the beginning.  We now have to take him to get another evaluation done by a neurological specialist to rule out any other things and they will have another mtg once those results come plus re eval by another psychologist one who actually knows what the heck he's doing and actually wants to get my son the help he needs.  It was a lot of information to absorb but she noticed our concern right away.  No one wants to be held accountable anymore everyone wants to get paid but there is no accountability and these people want to give our children the bare minimum or mediocre providers our children don't deserve this type of bs.  We've considered getting advocate to represent us at the next CPSE meeting.  I was also told that his former occupational therapist wasn't a good therapist so then why the **** is he still out in the field with children then????  This is a wake up call to us and should be to all parents out there you have to advocate be a pain in the *** b/c no one will do for you what you will do for your kids and I may sound like a broken record but if they can't even get evaluations right why should I trust their opinions for anything else.  I was also told that the CPSE mtg was handled wrong and they're not even actual meetings.  We are going to get what he needs we don't care whose toes get stepped on The Board of ED, Early Intervention Programs need to realize that they're there to help kids not hinder them and their constant change of policies and budget cuts due to state fiscal incompetence is hurting the kids and parents as well.  While I'm optimistic that we finally got someone who knows what they're talking about, until we receive those results from that specialist I won't feel relieved.  After that I went to my therapist mtg and it was okay but it seemed like time flew by this session.  I need to catch up on my gym trips this as I was only able to go once this week.  I need to get back on track and be more mindful with my eating b/c lately I've been slipping and I don't want to gain back the weight I've lost so far.  Today I went to for lunch and thought I was going to melt into the ground got my lunch did my fast bank trip and back to the ac office I went.  Ac power isnt' strong thanks to Con Ed nonsense with them reducing the power but it's better than being outside.  My mother has made the decision to move back to NY it is bitter sweet but I will happy to have her back here again.  While it's really nice over there it's just not working and the people around them aren't willing to help them the way it should be, sometimes family is something else and instead of making things easier they just make it worse.  Well I have half and hour left before it's quitting time time to start cleaning up and I'm hoping that the trains are nice and cool and running on time if there's any day I don't want to stand too long on the platform it's today.   I'm looking forward to finally getting a break from this heat next week.

Nude Beach at Coney Island?

Nude Beach at Coney Island?

I guess it's not enough that Coney Island Astroland is now Luna Park and they want to gentrify the place until their is no originality left to bring yet more "hipsters" to this area now they want to add a nude beach too.  I totally disagree with this b/c this beach and amusement park is a family centered place and families also go on to the beach and board walk if they want to sun bathe nude let them to do it in the privacy of their own homes or go to a beach specifically for this purpose or get on a plane and go to Europe.   I haven't been to Coney Island in years but I can tell you the only franks I want to see and buy are the ones from world renowned Nathan's Hot Dog stand and some people NEED to keep their clothes especially if gravity has taken over in certain areas.  Thanks but no thanks!!!  Keep the beach family oriented.

Woman Claims Pilot Threw Her Off Plane Over Shorts

Woman Claims Pilot Threw Her Off Plane Over Shorts

Now this is the story I need to read just a few weeks short of me travelling on Jet Blue for my vacation as if the whole traveling experience these days isn't stressful enough with the ridiculous having to pay to get your bags checked in, them having the nerve to charge you per bag, dealing with the ridiculous TSA lines.  This woman was on her way to FL and for some idiotic reason the pilot suspected she wasn't wearing any underwear or short now why the heck would someone go outside like that and if she were like that I'm sure airport police or someone would've stopped her.  The guy had the nerve to take a walkie talkie and slap it in between her legs asking her if she had underwear and was very vulgar she should've taken that walkie talkie and smacked on his balls and take the antenna and say hmm let me see if you have underwear on she was hauled off the plane like a common criminal until police determined she had underwear and shorts and then she was put back on the plane and the pilot still threw her off the flight after police said she was "properly dressed" She is now suing and I can't say I blame her.  If she was able to pass through TSA and their scanners, etc. than I don't get how they're making such a big deal out of this. This was a very humiliating and unprofessional response from that supervisor it seems like they hire any idiot to work in the airports these days.  I can remember way back when airline staff was very courteous and professional and now their standards have lowered tremendously from ticket agents to flight attendants yet we're paying more to get less in service and more aggravation  I have to wonder what that pilot was thinking? Shouldn't you be concerned with flying the plane and passenger safety rather than wasting your time making assumptions about who has underwear on *roll eyes*.  I think that employee should receive disciplinary action for what he did.  I wish some jerk would try to poke me with an antenna in between my legs he'd regret it for sure.  Moral of this story is NEVER assume anything unless you're 100% sure that someone is drunk, inappropriately dressed, etc.  don't just jump the gun or you will have to face the consequences and I'm sure Jet Blue will try to damage control as most of corporate america does.  They should give her a ton of frequent flyer miles but I'd doubt she'd ever want to be bothered with them again. I'm sure we'll see an update on this story.

Chairman Jay Walder to Resign from MTA

Chairman Jay Walder to Resign from MTA

If there is any agency I loathe the most it's the MTA.  It's the most mismanaged corrupt agency in the state whose always crying poor and waste money on the stupidest things.  Like clocks to see how long the train takes before it gets your station, while that's nice and all but how about major renovations that some of these stations need, cleaner trains and stations, vending machines that actually work and dispense dollar bills instead of these annoying gold coin dollars that many stores don't even want to take from you yet's it's still a $1.00.  money is money at least that's how I see it.  Another stupid thing is those help point stations they've installed in many stations there's nothing like having an actual human being in a token booth these machines require maitenance that costs money but I guess saving people's jobs and benefits is not being cost effective.  Due to their so called cuts my wonderful one train commute turned into a nightmare from M to J and J to M in the evenings and no M train service on the weekends.  This is the reason why I kind of stopped hanging out and shopping in the city.  Why should I have to take the M to J to F and the opposite in reverse to come home?  Buses are another issue some lines are better than others but a bus near me 58 used to be great running every 5 minutes now they're only running 58 ltd. not enough local services thanks to their incompetence.  I finally sent them a nasty email after a few forgettable coiled line waits in the heat and by a miracle after my last work out a local 58 was waiting for me.  So I'm glad to see him go go somewhere else and screw up their company.  The MTA needs a serious overhaul and someone who actually listens to the riders and gets things done.

Riders Fight as Baby Stroller Rolls Off Subway Car

Riders Fight as Baby Stroller Rolls Off Subway Car

Here's another video and example of the subway stupidity in NYC and this time it was on the L train I'm just outraged on how stupid some people are they're willing to get into fights over the stupidest things it was over a seat by the way and how no one does anything.  It is incredible the only thing they did was upload this on to you tube and someone actually came to the aid of this innocent child b/c the so called adults were too busy being ghetto trash and acting like idiots and someone forgot about the child who could've gotten seriously hurt had no good samaritan came to the baby's defense.  Why doesn't anyone get the police involved? I know this is a very scary thing that there's increasing violence on our subways and buses and something needs to be done about it.  I think there needs to be more police on the subways or a way that can easily be contacted in the event something like this or any crime happens sort of like a call box on the highway but installed on a subway car.  Short of someone pulling the emergency break not much you can do especially you're underground. The sad part about this is no one knows if they were arrested but they should be and one of the charges should be endangering the welfare of the child.  This is a perfect example that any idiot can reproduce but very few can step up to the plate and be an adult and a parent.  I couldn't see myself putting risking my own safety and the safety of my child over a seat or any stupid thing like that.  A smart person would've just gotten off at the next stop.

Fresh Prince Summertime

http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/--2152465

I think this is a great song it fits today's weather for sure it  talks about all the good things about summer the weather, the beaches and the bbq and vacations.  I've always liked Will Smith for his good sense of humor and ability to make hip hop and rap music without using dirty language or being demeaning to women. 

nyc sauna day

Today is a hot one and the heat makes me feel tired and puts me in a bad mood especially when I got to be stuck at work bored and not at the pool or beach which OS where I'd rather be. Yesterday we went to Walmart only to be annoyed with them not having things I really need in stock and then having to go home put away stuff deal with Jr and to get up for wk. Today is the mtg where we find out if he gets an increase in services and I'm hoping it goes well b/c I sure am not in the mood to deal with anyone's bs today. I'm on the train and the ac is blasting and that's good but there were two ppl running their mouths and I don't mind ppl talking but why does the whole train need to hear what you're talking about stfu! I know its the heat but seriously no one cares and you can tell a real convo from beefed up bs. Just got off waiting for my connnecting train trying not to melt into the platform and I'm hungry on top of that I can't wait to get a break from this heat tomorrow will be no better 100+ degrees. We got the call from the marriage counselor and we got an appt for next week he noticed my lack of enthusiasm and said I thought you'd be happy but as I've said before a lot of things have me jaded and I'm hoping things wk out the intake person pissed me off due to the fact she took his word as the whole truth well that's how I felt anyway so we'll see how that goes. We got the con ed bill and I almost had a heart attack insert curse words here those crooks but not much to do but pay or die of heat exhaustion my train finally arrives can't wait to be in ac again and I'm comfortable for now the walk home will seem like an eternity with this heat and I'm hoping time flies by fast b/c I need to get away for a few weeks to get a break from work from city life everything. Today is my second session I think it will be easier at least that will be some alone time for me hoping this train will pick up speed since I'd like to get home with enough time to eat before we go. Hope for the best expect anything

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heat wave week

Today is hump day and I'm glad for that but I'm definitely not looking forward to what's left of this week and the weekend the reason for that is the heat tomorrow we're supposed to get up to 95 98 friday and 96 saturday and he's working which totally sucks b/c this is perfect beach and pool weather.   The heat wears you down makes you feel tired, lethargic and it can also make you short tempered.  I try to dress comfortably and drink plenty of water thank goodness the trains and buses are air conditioned as well as the office.  Yesterday I felt very tired and he was working late so I had to get on the bus and pick up jr from daycare and wait for the bus to come home b/c there was no way I was walking all the way home in that heat.  I get home and his therapist is running late which I don't mind b/c at least it gives me a few minutes to get things ready and he didn't behave in his session at all I had to intervene twice and me being tired from the whole day didn't help my patience level plus the heat.  Finally he had a melt down during the session which was stressful in itself the therapist tried to calm him down he eventually calmed down and after she left I wanted to take him and spank him for misbehaving but I told him in a stern voice you did not behave and you're on time out.  He starts crying yet again.   I then heat up some microwave things for us to heat and I can't believe he still wants food when he eats all 3 meals at daycare but he's a bottomless pit when it comes to food.  After watching several episodes of sponge bob it was time for a bath cartoons and bed.  I get to my room and the portable ac starts acting up b/c the water pan has to be drained and I don't know how to do it but eventually it starts up I'm sure when I receive my con ed bill this month I'm going to say several curse words as I usually do but it's either that or suffer with this heat and I'm not about to do that I need a good night's rest in order to get up on time every day.  Once we're in the room he's playing and falls off the bed this isn't the first time it happens but it was time for a story and bed he wasn't behaving yet again I said no book the therapist mentions we have to implement more behavioral structure with him and he has to see consequences when he doesn't do what he's being asked.  We sang some songs and off to bed and I breathed a sigh of relief!!!! I can go to the livingroom and have some down time and watch adult tv shows watched a little tv took a long shower and off to bed.  I tried to blog last night but the tiredness just took over.  My vacation time isn't coming fast enough for me I could sure use a break and I know it's going to be just at hot and humid as it's been here but the difference is central ac in the whole house at least I'm not confined to the bedroom or livingroom as I am in my apartment here and a pool within walking distance.  The only thing I don't look forward to is the airport bs and going through the TSA lines this is a part of the travel experience I HATE.  I remember doing this when jr was a baby it was such a pain in the a**.  I try to make it easier on me by wearing flip flops or sandals that slip on and off easily be mindful of things I pack I might even get sandals for jr too.  I'm not looking forward to carrying a car seat wish these geniuses at the FAA would approve booster seats less bulkier to carry.  I'm counting down the days till I leave I have about 2.5 weeks left.  I'm hoping for a safe uneventful flight and that jr will behave and not get ear pain b/c I sure can get bad ear pain.  Tomorrow is the mtg to discuss the justifcation for the increase in speech therapy where I will get to meet the new service coordinator and I'm hoping that this mtg goes better than the CPSE one b/c they sure left a bad taste in my mouth.  It's also the second session of therapy for me I'm sure it will get easier and time goes on breaking the ice initially is very hard I've yet to hear anything about us being assigned a therapist for couples counseling a part of me wonders if I should even bother but I know that's avoiding the issue I know that either way things go we have to put everything in perspective and I don't think we can do that w/o professional help.  It's hard to face things but sometimes we have to so I'm going to call and see if and when we will get someone.  As I was walking to the bus stop yesterday the building that they seemed to be constructing forever is going to be a Walgreens and I was so happy to see this we really don't have a lot of Walgreens up here and this will be good to pick up something if needed on the way home.  Today after work we will be driving up to Walmart I really don't feel like doing this after the two train voyage home but I might as well take the opportunity b/c he's working on the weekend and I need a few things as I want to start getting things ready for the upcoming vacation.  Well time to start my work day actually it started @8 hopefully it will be a smooth with minimal office stupidity even though some always manages to sneak in every work day.

Teen Accused Of Beating Bus Driver Over Dog

Teen Accused Of Beating Bus Driver Over Dog

When I heard about this story on the news I was in shock! When I lived in Yonkers I used to occassionally ride the BX9 bus if the trains were acting up or for shopping and I never imagined that an incident like this could happen. I was infuriated that the situation was even allowed to escalate to the point that it did how are you going to be on a bus witnessing something go down like this and not step in and try to stop it!!! How do we as people and society allow this to happen it says a lot about our society and sadly the mentality of people who live in an certain area as much as I hate to say it there's a small truth to every stereotype. I understand people are scared and that's natural but come one she could've killed this woman she's lucky to be alive. I meaning even calling 911 from a cell phone if you're afraid to physically get involved. This woman was dragged off her bus and beaten up savagely and she should've kicked this 17 yr old a** in my opinion all she was doing was her job as a driver and enforcing the law how dare this piece of crap assault this woman to the degree that she did and think she wasn't going to face any legal consequences for it. Maybe the driver felt if she did hit her, she'd be considered in the wrong and be charged with assault but come one this would've been an obvious self-defense case. I think workers need better protection on the job and I'm glad that they came up with 7 yr jail term for assaulting transit employees b/c while there are some who work a nerve but there are some who are professional and do their jobs and everyone should feel safe while earning a living. Work place violence and street violence are very real issues there needs to be more done to make people realize that they just can't assault someone or start any type of drama and not face legal repercussions for it. I've even heard of fights happening here in this agency this is totally unacceptable and if it were the private sector you'd be fired in a heart beat. I'm glad that justice was served and she will have 7 years to think about her actions but I doubt it would make a difference. I will think twice before taking the BX9 or any bus and hope what I hope for every day a safe uneventful ride to and from my destination.

uncertainity isn't good

It's friday and I'm glad just wish my stomach wasn't acting up it's very stressful when this happens to me but this morning as I dropped off jr and I was on my daily ride to work I get a call from the sitter that her weekly fee was short and I think that's what did it b/c I could've sworn it was complete.  I got to work on time went to the store and quickly had to leave and hope I made it to the office on time I felt better afterward but it's been on and off.  Stress aggravates my stomach condition sadly.  Yesterday was my first visit to therapist and while it was hard and my voice cracked at some parts in the session I was able to express myself and get through it and I feel that I will gain a lot from therapy.  She is very understanding and easy to talk to I think I also choked b/c while the intake girl was nice she wasn't as easy to open up to.  We decided to keep our visits on Thursday so I will keep going to the gym but have to rearrange my schedule.   Now today I find out that they will be more lay offs and so far I've been lucky and been spared quite a few rounds even thought I got an risk letter but now I heard talk that someone who's in mgmt had been cleaning out their office but hadn't notified anyone which pissed me off b/c people's livelihoods are depending on your information how dare you keep people in the dark!  so this adds to my stress b/c we're having a staff mtg in a few minutes to discuss these layoffs but I'm going to try not to worry too much b/c we can't control it the city is in bad fiscal shape and there's a lot of cut backs and there will be more to come.  Some will be laid off or reassigned to other agencies.  I don't think i'd want to work anywhere else I've gotten used to working here and our immediate group is nice and we all work pretty good together but most ppl will do anything to keep a job these days so we will soon see what the outcome of this meeting is since it begins in a few minutes

break from the heat

Today is a welcome break from the heat, while it's still warm outside it's nothing like yesterday.  I took a walk to Au Bon pain today and it felt great outside there was actually a breeze picked up my 12 veggie soup and a very small frozen yogurt.  Yesterday felt like a sauna outside.  I went to go grab a sub at quiznos at lunch and I thought I was going to melt into the ground, I needed something sweet to keep me cool so I went into the tasti d lite frozen yogurt place and got myself an orange creamsicle frozen yogurt.  My sweet tooth is my weakness but the good thing is their frozen yogurt is from 70-100 calories so I try to keep it small and pick of the 70 calorie list.  As the day went on I finished my work and almost lost my work due to a computer glitch but I was able to save it thank goodness b/c no daily report is like I didn't show up for work, it's the only thing that proves how much work I've done.  After the aggravating start to my day,  toward the end he texts me wanting "peace" and I always get annoyed with this statement b/c I'm thinking if you really wanted peace why do you have to be such a douche!.  You get what you give!  I needed to clear my head and get some distraction so I decided to visit the flushing location of the gym I belong to and let me say that I can't believe how many people ride the #7 train it's crazy I took the express down there and it got pretty full by the time it left the city.  Just my luck I sat in the double seater only to have some stinky alcoholic sitting next to me nodding off.   He went towards my shoulder and I gave him eye contact the gtfo off of me.  I was hoping the train would hurry up and get to the last stop which is where I needed to get off.  I finally get off at Main St. and I can't believe how crowded and how smelly it is it always smells like crap rotten garbage, etc.  and I see that there is no more old navy sometimes change isn't always a good thing I look around to see that a lot of stores have come and gone there it's sad but it's the sign of the times and the economy.  I winded up walking in the wrong direction for the gym and had to walk 3 blocks in the opposite direction now had it not felt like 100+ degrees outside with the heat index and humidity that wouldn't have been too bad.  The walk back was cardio in itself.  I get to the gym and I have to say that I wasn't impressed.  The locker room is like a rubix cube and what is it with these narrow lockers that not even my skinny reebok bag fits in their sometimes with my purse you shouldn't have to smash your belongings inside to fit I get they don't want anyone to keep things in their overnight but seriously sufficient space to accomodate a regular size gym/duffel bag isn't being too unreasonable considering they have showers and ppl bring things to shower and change after gym.  After finding an empty locker and changing I went to take my place on the floor ready for the zumba course and I look to see the ppl I spotted a few annoying idiots there's a group in every class I don't talk to anyone I'm just an introvert like that unless someone really catches my attention.  There was a fool there saying that no one should be let in late I was sthu it's a class not an audition.  The class started and I liked this instructor she's pretty good I was actually able to follow a routine that I couldn't follow with mr zorro so that's a plus.  The class is usually 45 minutes but after 30 I was tired and I think it was due to the walk, the heat and going to the gym the night before so it was time to go home.  I walk back to the bus stop and was happy to get inside an air conditioned bus.  I come home to unwind and have dinner and jr greets me in the hallway and I have dinner which he insists on picking off of he eats 3 meals at the sitter and I wonder how he finds the room to eat even more.  I watched some cartoons with him bath and to bed I fell out again and I hope this morning would be an easier and cleaner morning than previous.  It went pretty smooth I'm going to give the gym a rest today and possibly go back tomorrow or if not friday.  I received a call from the counseling center and it was a therapist for individual sessions and I was glad that someone was finally able to accommodate my schedule and I look forward to meeting with them tomorrow and I look forward the journey of going to therapy again, when I was going years back I felt better about myself and noticed the change after a while.  I need to try this out and considering all the things that have been happening lately I need to have someone whose impartial and will understand what I'm feeling w/o judgement or emotional involvement.  Well it's almost 2:00 and lunch is over time to get back to work and finish up for what's left of the day and hope for what I always hope for a smooth uneventful commute home.

crazy morning

Today is tuesday and it's going to be 95 degrees with the heat index it will feel like 100+ yesterday was also very hot and I started to feel the effects of the heat having a headache, my stomach doesn't agree with the heat so I have to be very careful with what I eat and I usually don't have much of an appetite.  It's a perfect day for the beach or the pool.  I saw Highbridge Pool on the news yesterday never imagined it was that big but I sure wish I would've been in there or any pool.  Last night I went to the gym and yes my favorite zumba instructor was there and we had a great work out I was drenched in sweat after that I burned 131.4 calories on the treadmill and once I was done I looked at the time and it was time to go home.  I couldn't wait to get inside a train with air conditioning.  I usually like to walk the strip of Steinway St but it's way too hot for that I didn't even go to red mango for frozen yogurt, All I wanted was to be inside cool air.  The gym is a great distraction for me to have some actual time to myself and try to distract myself from all the bs that's going on in my life and after leaving the cool subway train I had to wait for the bus in the heat and of course there's a coiled line as it always is I would've liked a seat but that didn't happen.  After an intense workout I felt hungry and I read a text from him saying he wasn't making anything b/c he wasn't hungry I was like wtf I read that and I called my mother to blow off some steam and she told me not to feed into it I've never seen someone who can be so spiteful and ridiculous.  He claims that he sent a text and had I upgraded the operating system on my phone I would've gotten it in time yeah oook there.  I had to wind up stopping and picking something up for myself which I shouldn't have to do considering that I just did grocery shopping this past weekend!!! After a great exhilirating work out I have to come home to deal with douchery and bs.  I ate and jr wanted to pick at my food which he did and afterward he went to put him to bed which didn't work b/c just as I'm getting into the tv I see jr walk into livingroom again so much for relaxation and shower I came in and he was trying to get him down and losing his patience I was already sick and tired of him so I threw him out.  He gave me a hard time but eventually both of us conked out.  This morning I got up and had a stressful hectic morning it wasn't that way at first but when jr got up and I went to get him dress they say the phrase "shit happens" well it literally did right on to the bed and bottom of his shirt.  Like I needed this type of excitement in the morning stripped the bed rinsed the shirt and put him in tub and this douche actually thought I'd still have time to catch my bus and not be late to work. He drops us off and he starts bsing to me about how now I'm going to know what it feels like to find dishes in the sink, etc. etc. I was already stressed out b/c of the incident with jr having an accident so I just went off on him and told him that this is really showing that you're trying to work on our relationship and told him if he continues he needs to get out he tells me to say the word and after that I get to the front of the train station slam the door and walk inside.  What a way to start the day and I ask myself how long am I going to put up with this bs? I think I've put up with enough but if you ask him he will say the same and had the nerve to call me spoiled. I don't know who's feeding him information but I'm sure whomever it is they obviously don't have both sides.  I don't know what's going to come of this counseling thing b/c I don't see myself putting up with this crap on a long term basis just b/c he pays the rent this is 2011 and I may not earn a lot of money but I also have my dignity and self respect as a person too I really thought he would be making a conscious effort but I guess I should've know where this was going due to what occured in the initial intake interview.  I'm going to start doing my research on legal stuff and programs that offer rental assistance b/c I need to know what my options are.  I'm tired of living like this and every day being a yo yo of emotions and I have a feeling that there can be someone else I've had my suspicions for a while already but men make me sick they always think that the grass is greener on the other side but after a while when the novelty wears off it's all the same s****.  He's succeeded in hurting me very deeply and pointing what I "lack" well I can say the same I guess it's too hard for you to be a man and not a pendejo and stand up for your wife and make sure that people give her place and respect let me ask u this do you f* your best friend? let's be serious who gives a *** what he thinks? It's about RESPECT but not according to him. He says I don't value family I don't put the value he does, I'll be darned if any of them disrespected my partner or my friends? He values them a little too much. So I say to him and to all men who find "fault with a woman go find yourself a perfect specimen a nice thin latina who likes to cook clean will have your meal pipe and slippers and whatever else and go **** off and let the woman who you claim "lacks" live their lives in peace.  On that note nothing and no one is perfect when we seek perfection we will be on an endless journey.

happy to see monday (a rare occurence)

I'm usually never glad when Monday comes but today is an exception, this weekend my son drove me crazy both days.  Friday I was tired from the whole work week and I felt lazy so I didn't go to the gym and the weather sure didn't help this I won't go in bad weather rain is ok but thundering and lighting that's not negotiable.  Grocery shopping was supposed to be also put off till the next due to the weather and me being tired.  Saturday morning I woke up early b/c jr is an instant alarm clock and I have to be extra careful now as he knows how to open the refrigerator.  He does this looking for his juice boxes.  Saturday I did some cleaning up but I was just in a slump so I was in the house all day until he came out of work off to pick up our new glasses and do the much hated grocery shopping.  I hate grocery shopping on any given day but I hate it even more when the sales arent that great.  I went to the Pathmark and wow has that place gotten annoying it seemed like an eternity that we were waiting on line to pay for our stuff.  How can not have all of the registers open on a Saturday of all days!  Yesterday was just one of those days jr drove me nuts so much that I went outside to take him to the park so he can expend some of that energy I tried looking for the tomatoes, peppers and garlic but in all 3 places in the area they were way too expensive and not very fresh looking so I will continue looking for them.  We had some pizza in the area I took him for a haircut and back home.  When he finally arrives home I go to do some laundry that's my "alone" time so much for getting my nails done and lesson learned I will NEVER let my stuff I don't dry pile up again like that it took me forever to hang everything up.  He then starts talking smack about the laundry hamper being full and me not washing his uniforms and I'm just trying not to feed into this bs.  For someone who doesn't feel the same way you  sure expect a whole lot so which one is it? make up your f* mind or step off.  I had no room to wash them and frankly I don't think I have to and as far as hamper being full, we dirty a lot of clothing, summer doesn't help this and jr doesn't either especially if he has an "accident".  I realize it's not about the "laundry" when people have issues, they take something small and turn it into something big.  He says he's tired really? and I'm not? I sure could use some "ME" time just to be alone and relax go the gym go shopping etc.  The child trips and cries that was also my fault he says he tripped on a piece of paper are you f* serious? did you just listen to how stupid that sounds???? I just gave jr his bath and went to the room and had to deal with him giving me a hard time to go to bed and finally within minutes he's asleep and before I knew I knodded off and didn't wake up till after midnight.  I get up this morning glad to be alive and in an empty apartment b/c I had enough douchery for one evening. I keep asking myself when the call for therapist will come b/c I have plenty of ammo now.  I begin my routine of feeding the cat, jump in the shower and watch my NY1 news and it's going to be a hot 90 degrees today and I sure wish it would be like this on a weekend where I have a ride to go to the pool or beach.  Today I will do for "me" get my nails done at lunch time and today is Zumba day at the Astoria gym I sure hope he's there today b/c I can sure use a good work out to distract my mind and to work off everything I've eaten in these past few days.  The diet part is always a challenge for me and it sure doesn't help with smart ones, lean cuisines, etc. aren't on sale at the supermarket.  With those meals the guess work is gone and perfectly portioned but usually the downfall is the sodium maybe I will have better luck this week.  I will try to get to the gym 3 times this week.  I finally got to open the envelope for early inventervention and I see the progress notes for jr and a new service coordinator's name and number now that was fast service I'm crossing my fingers that this new coordinator will work out b/c I sure don't feel like switching again but I will if need be even if they think I'm a pain in the a* parent when it comes to my child I will not put up with any more incompetence on their behalf b/c everyone has a job to do and it seems like everyone wants to pass on the torch to everyone else and have no accountability for their actions or lack thereof.  Not with my child.  It's 12:00 and I can't wait for lunch for some reason I feel hungrier than usual. 

Friday at last.

This week was a pretty long week and I'm glad it's over.  With all that was going with CPSE, jr surgery, the first counseling session it was a little hectic but everything seems a little more under control now Jr surgery was canceled due to the fact that his ears were clear of fluid and he passed the hearing test I feel relieved for this but it's still a risk that the condition can return so he will have a follow up in a few months.  Yesterday I went to work out at lunch time to take a zumba class and much to my disappointment it was time guy I call zorro at the Wall St location and I really don't like his style at all and the fact that he was late to the class and blamed the train totally ridiculous while I realize it can happen to the best of us b/c of this I left the class early b/c I didn't want to be late back to work.  I know zumba is a lot of movement but he goes way too fast for me which is why I prefer the guy in Astoria speaking of which I went there this week expecting he'd be there only to be disappointed when someone else was there.  I was stuck I had already made the trek up there I did my 1/2 hr on the treadmill and burned 314 calories and if there wasn't a time limit I'd probably do a lot better.  I'm still losing weight but it's like a yo yo I wish it would stabilize but sometimes I mess up in the eating department which is probably one of the reasons for that.  I've started using my fitness pal to track calories and wow it sure makes you realize the calories, fat, in every type of food out there.  I've cut my portions in half and try to stay away from things but candy is my weakness.  I will keep working out and try to do the best I can and I hope by next year I will look like a brand new person.  Yesterday was the counseling visit and I have to say that I was a nervous wreck the entire day and even on the ride there and it doesn't help that they give you an entire pkg of papers to fill out which get redundant after a while and the intake session didn't go well at all.  In fact I felt like punching him in the face b/c he took no ownership over what he did or said only the fact that he's no perfect really? no shit sherlock who is! He talked about my temper,etc. etc. I think I choked under the pressure and nerves and while I spoke it wasn't as much and as free as I thought it would be so I feel discouraged and a part of me kind of regrets even initating this but I was told this is hard, It sure is.  We're supposed to hear from them in two weeks once they assign us a therapist but I can say this, if he wants to go there I can and will too.  I'm going to make sure I voice everything I want to b/c considering he didn't want to be there he sure had a lot of shit to talk.  I'm trying to see this through but I have to say it's very difficult.  I'm also trying to be strong not easy either.  Not knowing what direction things are going is very hard but I think everyone gets to a point where they've had enough and I have to say that a quarter of me is already there but  the other half still wants to try to work this out but I ask myself is it just my efforts in vain?  For someone to tell you that they're only there for their son doesn't do much for your self esteem and ego.  I know I deserve better than this so while I'm hoping for the best I'm also preparing for the worst.  Pay day has arrived and like always it's bills bills bills wish I could just keep it all for me but it's almost like a magic trick now you see it now you're broke or almost.  Seems like everything goes up but your paycheck.  Well it's almost time to go just wish I didn't have grocery shopping to do a task that I hate especially when their is nothing good on sale.

District Mtg aftermath

After a very disappointing district mtg in which I was told by the two genuises in CPSE that my son doesn't qualify for a school setting or transportation and pretty much offered me no viable solutions as far as how I'd get my son to these speech therapy appointments when their local provider doesn't have late hours heaven forbid any provider works past 5 pm. these days I think it's very unfair to people who work full time jobs in order to stay afloat not to have hours and providers who will accommodate parents.  I think this is why some parents mothers in particular get fed up and say forget it this I'm staying home with my child or children b/c if there's one thing I learned from this mtg is No one will advocate for your child but YOU and The Board of Ed is nothing but a mismanaged, bureaucratic, incompetent organization full of incompetent employees who provide nothing to parents but the bare minimum of services and a lot of bs jargon and no real clear solutions.  You'd think this woman was going to pay for my son's transportation out of her own pocket and she clearly states she lives a few blocks away from me like I felt like saying "tell someone who cares".  I left that meeting feel angry, disappointed, and I feel had our service coordinator made it a priority to be there plus the cmsr from EI NONE of this would've happened.  Another thing that infuriated me was the fact that I was told that the service coordinator isn't "obligated" to be at meetings. As a parent and looking at the situation overall I've never heard of anything more ridiculous.  You're coordinating services for my child and working on their case yet you're not required to be at the meetings that will decide my child's fate totally idiotic in my opinion.  I didn't waste my time getting on the phone and called the Early Intervention Agency and making my displeasure known and demanding a replacement coordinator only to be told if I wanted to work with the previous one who was another incompetent I said NO so now I'm still waiting for a replacement.  I spent the evening faxing over paperwork and on the phone only for the next day to receive a call from the cmsr from Early Intervention this man offered no apology for not showing up to our child's meeting but says that our child is a bright child and the issue is the speech issues.  The Head Start thing was put out there again he gave web pages to look up and the rest was fluff.  I will not give up until my child receives the services he needs.  I just can't believe the lack of professionalism and organization of these people and it's a scary thought that these people are in charge of deciding the fate of many of NYC children.  Children and Educational Services should be a top priority for law makers, advocates, etc.  but it seems like they're making a whole bunch of cuts to service they need, it's sad that all they care is about numbers not results.   Our next mtg will be to get an increase in his speech therapy sessions I'm hoping that this mtg will have a better outcome than the CPSE one.

district mtg disappointment

Today's district meeting was a total disappointment and I had a gut feeling that things weren't going to go very well.  Let me begin by saying that the fact that our "service coordinator" didn't feel the need to have to be present should speak volumes in itself.  Little does she know that she will be replaced ASAP.  I was so ticked off to receive a phone call at the last minute from him stating the board of ed office called and they wanted us to come in earlier than expected due to a cancelation like I or any other parent can just  zoom out of work hop on the train and be there in lightning speed just to accommodate them.  I get to the place and can't find it thanks to the stupid directions of hop stop telling me to take the R they should tell you to take the N Q or 7 and you're right down the block.  I finally find it and decide to grab some lunch he meets up with me and you're rushing us to get there yet I'm still waiting for a while for YOU in the waiting area.  We're finally called to the meeting room and I'm expecting to see the big honcho from the early intervention agency and he's not there neither is the "service" coordinator the mtg begins and we're told he doesn't qualify for a school setting or transportation.  I felt like I was in the twilight zone everything coordinator said they said the total opposite.  The parent advocate was a total idiot.  You're telling me coordinator doesn't have to be present yet CPSE cmsr is wondering why she's not here. The coordinator didn't even fax over the DP1 form to continue service I was infuriated at this point so what the **** was she coordinating i'd really like to know b/c it wasn't services in my child's best interest.   Coordinator told me that he'd be placed in a school setting or at least I'd have to consider Head Start.  Head Start came up again and speech services would be provided at a facility.  I was pissed off b/c just to have local services we'd have to go out of our way to Woodside just to have a provider who works in the evening! I'm think WTF is wrong with people and the Board of Ed? Do they think people work from 6-3 or all can afford to stay home and work early hours????  Why the heck should I have to commute with my toddler all the way over there on train or bus after taking the two train voyage home b/c these incompetents can't provide services like they should to make parents lives easier!  The cmsr who happens to live in my area was also another one who said that EI is a program that was abused which is why so many cuts have been made which is ridiculous and boy did I bite my tongue b/c I was pissed off I wanted to say what do you mean abused? Are you paying for these services out of your pocket if not STFU! You have the lives and futures of the city's children in your hands all you care about is money!!! The city and the system suck.  The Board of Ed is all about numbers, bureaucracy, and their so called limited city budget to give our kids the bare minimum in services and I thought the #1 leader in city incompetence was the MTA #2 is Board of Ed.  Cuts have been made due to pure stupidity and incompetence of our law makers, representatives, and the village idiots in Albany.  EI is a very necessary program and w/o it many people simply couldn't have access to the programs and services their kids may need.  I could never even think of why I would have to "ask" a coordinator to be present at a meeting I thought that was their job another reason why things are screwed up nowadays NO ONE wants to do their job anymore.  No one will advocate for your kids like YOU do and had I been adequately prepared for this meeting we probably would've looked better and not like some clueless morons.  The final determination was services would continue until December 31 st and another meeting would be held to determine the next step.  His father was so pissed off he just wants to put him in private school I can't say I blame him at this point but the sticking point with that is many private schools don't provide special education services leaving parents no choice but to be at the mercy of the Board of Ed.   I didn't waste not one day I called the agency immediately spoke to a supervisor and Ms. Thing will be replaced immediately.  She never returned any of my texts I sent, nothing I don't need that type of "coordinating"when it comes to my child's education and future so I'm hoping that this will not cause an interruption of his services and we will finally have someone who has their ducks in a row and can provide services to our child. 

extended weekend run down

Friday I felt so tired and lazy but I pushed myself to go the gym I tried a different class called just dance and it's a pretty decent class.  I just wish I could find an abs exercise to do that doesn't strain my neck b/c that's an area I seriously want to improve on.  I started on the treadmill burned over 100 I'm guessing b/c I didnt' see the actual number b/c someone was right behind me ready to use the machine after my time was up but plus the class and weights I'm guessing it was more.  I keep a food journal on fitness pal and it has made me much more accountable with what I eat and counting calories.  I ate 816 calories out of a 2,000 calorie diet a day isn't bad at all.  I've cut my portions in half.  I've also lost an additional 3 lbs which makes me feel good so I'm going to keep at it.  I walked all the way to end of Myrtle Ave and didn't even feel tired which is great b/c I used to dread the walk so shedding the weight helps out a great deal. This extended weekend consisted of a trip to the Jones Beach Pool which I love going to the pool but I don't neccesarily like the crowds or the outrageous cost of food by the pool.  Unfortunately I winded up getting a sunburn on my back I'm thinking I should've put more sunblock on or a shirt on b/c that sun does creep up on you when you're sitting by the pool in the sun and you will pay for it for sure like I am now.  I've been sleeping on my side and using aloe gel for my back.  Lesson learned use more sunblock possibly more expensive sunblock and buy a rash guard to wear.  Jr is afraid of the water which is unusual b/c last year he was swimming like a fish I'm guessing the water wasn't warm enough but I'm sure it will be today at 92 degrees and yesterday was a perfect pool day but he was working :(.  Saturday was his birthday and it was akward considering the situation before we would go out to a restaurant, etc. but this was different I got a bday card from his son and jr scribbled all the envelope and inside with crayon and gave it to him.  Unfortunately my day at the pool came to an abrupt end b/c he insisted inviting the ghetto brady bunch a funny term I'm borrowing from an online buddy lol and the pool had reached capacity b/c they run on ethnic people's time got there late and his sister in law whom which I can't stand started acting a fool which I'm glad I wasn't around for the display b/c I probably wouldn't have kept my mouth shut.  I'm so sick of her and her bs.  Why act like a spoiled diva? You show up late that's what happens, it's the city law they can't have too many people there for safety and I'm sure other reasons so I had to wind up leaving the pool before I got to go to the adult side and really enjoy it so we had to wind up going on the beach.  I'm told we have to go to the beach by him and I'm like really? Then here's a real kick in the head we have to leave by a certain time b/c they have a 2 hr drive back to PA! Excuse me??? I have to be considerate no one told them to come down and I have to be considerate for ppl who were 2 hrs late to a bbq we planned, we were hungry and thirsty b/c they were supposed to bring drinks, and forgot cash to pay car fee to park, yet I have to be considerate one get the f* out of my face!!!! So I begrudgingly leave the pool and wait for them to get to the front and I say hello and I get acknowledged by everyone except the b* I was like whatever I told him to keep me away from her.  She's just pissed off b/c I called her out on her bs when she sent my husband nasty text msgs.  I don't give a f* ppl may put up your stupidity but I will not and I didn't even get really nasty, etc. but some ppl think that they can do or say whatever they want w/o consequence.  If you can so can I and everyone else. I laid down on a towel and just relaxed under the umbrella but as the day went on it got very hot and I went to the water to cool off and the waves were a little rough but it was good.  He followed after and we spoke about counseling and he actually admitted he can be insensitive and we spoke about other things but I know everything will come out in counseling.  After a while it was time to leave and trying to get sand out of stuff is hard defeats the purpose till you get home and shower.  They left w/o saying goodbye to me and in his warped mind he feels I have to put up with that type of bs but I was relieved for them to finally be gone.  I hope the next trip to the beach and pool will be minus them.  I don't mind going out with a group of people if they're fun to be around, etc.  not to deal with stupidity.  After the beach we went to Roosevelt Field Mall which is a great mall but who wants to go the mall when you're broke lol.  He went to get himself a brand new outfit for his bday which I know his self confidence has improved since the weight loss but I just noticed a streak of narcissism I don't like he says it's not there but I notice it.   I ate and I was exhausted as the beach tires u out and mentally exhausted.  Next day off to replace our glasses yesterday would've been a perfect day to go to the pool but he had to work so much for a July 4th celebration.  I just went out on the ave to get a few things take jr to mcdonalds and the park and watch the macys fireworks.  This week will be a busy one and next week will be the surgery and having to deal with having the travelling gypsy back in my house so I'm hoping the week will fly by fast.  Today is the district mtg and I have to admit that I'm nervous b/c I don't know what the outcome will be for jr but I'm hoping that they do offer a pre-school placement and I'm prepared to ask as many questions as I can and advocate for the services he needs that "service" coordinator didn't leave me with much hope just blowing a whole bunch of smoke through my ears and the fact that she wouldn't even show up to a district mtg makes me realize you are the only real advocate for your children.  Her replacment ot still hasn't handed in the report and she doesn't know what it is to be on time another issue that's starting to work my nerves.  I don't like being late and I don't think I have to tolerate others being late b/c the later you leave the later we eat dinner, etc.  People don't think of these things.  It's half an hr before I leave so I've got to wrap this up.  I'm hoping for a positive outcome but prepared to deal with bs, red tape, bureaucracy.